The Beardless Culture: Women, Children and Animals

[Bukkake]

The Beardless Culture:
Women, Children, and Animals

As we all know, liberals are stupid jerks and they have nothing good to say. Why? Liberals own 98.356% of media and I own the rest because I keep up my sassy style/big walkin talk time. Don't get me wrong, I love helicopters as much as the next guy, but if you're going to fly that goddamn thing over my house while i'm watching reruns of the groundbreaking comedy show "Moesha," you thought yourself wrong. Meanwhile, i'm trying to push bills for the subsequent elimination of everything that can't grow a beard. Thus, we come to the point of this; I am willing to remove the fault of our existence and I want the masses to see my side of things.

Experience is my strongest defense and I will share some with you. On August 24, 2003, I came across a young lady, whom shall remain nameless, during my case study of the harms of dogs to white children under the age of 42. This lady had something to say about everything! The only way I could contain her massive personality was to throw pogs in her mouth and slam her head against my collection of Crocodile Dundee interview vinyl. My horse suggested I gather a man and woman to perform several tests on the effects of beardlessness. "Beardlessness?," I asked, "What time does that new Everybody Love Raymond come on?" The horse then kicked me in the face and repeatedly stomped on my incredible jawline. I took its advice and gathered a man and woman to perform various objectives such as: Lifting cars, not being a fucking stupid bitch, count rope, being tough and awesome, and not being a sissy fucking asshole. All test proved the man with the beard could perform these tasks with precision and unremarkable grace. The woman failed all tasks and tossed her out of a window because she was a fucking bitch asshole.

This brought to mind, what about other brainless creatures such as children and animals. I decided to rob an elementary school* of its idiot bitch children, then went to a farm and stole various animals/tractors. I switched the tests up to fool the children and animals because they probably read my case study on women in the new issue of "fucking badass motherfucker weekly." The tests included: don't cry when I shoot you/stab you, analyze that novel in 30 seconds or less, eat nails and saw blades, and don't piss on yourself. As expected, both children and animals failed everything while the bearded male** remains unphased by the tests. This only proved i'm right and i've never been wrong in my life.

As my tests proved, women, children, and animals are all weak swell guy. The male (bearded) is still on top of the world with the cunning choice of fashion and awesome jokes. I recieve alot of hate mail from people who say "you're crazy, this must be a joke." To you, I say you're a swell guy and i'm not joking what do I look like to you some jokester no. And I leave you with something to think about, do you really want weak swell guy in our nations great films?

- Alex

* Russian school because Russians don't have emotions
** Bearded Male may have been given cocaine, ODed, and died

[airsoft guy]

[baby arm]

I have a rich, luxurious beard full of natural highlights that dance in the sun.

[Aonaran]

Airsoft, from where do you find this wealth of tempestuous swell guy? Simply astounding.

[ApTyp]

There's these WEBSITES he FREQUENTS

[airsoft guy]

Airsoft, from where do you find this wealth of tempestuous swell guy? Simply astounding.

I have a folder on my computer where I save all the gay shit I see online. It is aptly named "gay shit."



There’s also the popular “Hitler� folder:



I have lots of crap on here. If I cleaned all the pictures out I’d probably have at least a gig freed up.

[Koki]

tl;dr

But I don't get it why everyone hates liberals so much... surely it's better than orthodox christians or something.

[Blargh]

Not even a knowing smirk.

[vx trauma]

the modern liberals have failed consecutively for way too long. Hence the looming neckshot/stab.

[S4ur0n27]

Am I seeing lesbians?

[PiP]

I have a folder on my computer where I save all the gay shit I see online.

I am so sorry. Perhaps it's not too late? /delusions off/

[vendetta]

Am I seeing lesbians?

On top right corner? yep.

[Naked_Lunch]

top left mebbe?

[VasikkA]

Real lesbians are ugly. Those two are just showing off for young virile men like you.

[airsoft guy]

Here's the lesbians you see:


It's not that they're really lesbians, but it's fun to imagine in a weird redneck sort of way.

Also, I think the word "incest" is a blocked word or something with Imageshack. The original name was "incestisbest" and it wouldn't work, so I changed the name to something else and it worked, so I changed it to just "incest" and it stopped working. So keep that in mind when you're uploading your Japanese pedo-scat porn.

[Kashluk]

What is Berlusconi doing there in the middle?

[VasikkA]

In which middle?

[S4ur0n27]

YOU'RE LOST, KASHLuk :HITLER:

[vx trauma]

post moar hitlers!

[airsoft guy]

OMG LOL