Supermutants + useless testicles - brain =human wave attacks
Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2003 9:20 am
So I'm sitting here playing Fallout Tactics and I noticed something about the super mutants, they're dumb. I'm sure you all knew that before, it's not too terribly hard to see. But, you would think they would have just a little more sense in the way they fight battles. As we all know their peskies don't work right, sure they can pump it all they like, but the baby batter just don't work, plus the vats were destroyed so they can't make any more mutie babies and whatnot. This being said for all to know (you should already know about it), wouldn't you think it might be prudent for them to change their strategy from bloodthirsty, gung-ho, Hulk knock-offs, to something more along the lines of farmer, or builder? You know, something to help benefit the rest of the world, so that maybe somebody might take pity on them.
Maybe they should follow the example of the ghouls and live out their lives in a radiated wonderland. You talk to the ghouls and they're insane. They walk around praising the bomb as if it were Jesus Christ riding Ghandi pulled by Buddha. Sure it gave you long life, but there are three major side effects that you can see in the game.
One: they're green and ugly with their skin falling off, but that's what happens when you hang out next to plutonium rods and swim around in toxic goo, you just sort of melt.
Two, your pills don't work, and there is no cure for this, they just shrivel up and die. Seems to me that if I was going to live for 200 years I would also want my beefstick to work properly.
Number three, like I said, they are nuts. They've gone completely insane, but that's what happens when you sit and stare at a atomic bomb all day long. You start to hear things, little voices, telling you to do things, like kill your mom, she's always holding you back, wont let you do your own thing, always yelling at you for coming home late. Kill her, kill her, kill, kill, kill, kill....
Oh I also forgot, they kind of smell, also a side effect of the skin falling off and such, you know since they are, like, rotting. I would kill them all too, it would be a mercy, who the Hell wants to go through life smelling like rotten meat with a tree growing out of their head?
So lets run down the list here, their ugly and green, so they can't get no pussy, even from their own kind, I'm not stuffing my submarine in that polluted swamp she calls a vagina, but it doesn't even matter since it doesn't work right anyway. Then they have the whole nutso thing going on for them, so even if they didn't smell and look like Edvard Munch's The Scream gone horribly wrong, they wouldn't get any because no girl wants to have sex with a crazy man. They're usually unkept, and smell just as bad as rotting flesh. They also have that creepy laugh, you don't want to hear that at the height of passion, ruins the mood. It's like that one time I was using the Magic Porn Box and I found a chick with a lazy eye. Let me tell you, it's damn hard to stroke it and laugh at the same time, one eye was looking at you, and the other was directed at your junk.
Then there's the Deathclaws, I hate the Deathclaws in Tactics. They just look like fruits to me, not like kiwis and such, but like homosexual dinosaurs, especially with the hair it makes them look like they're all wearing feather boas. I remember my first encounter with deathclaws. It was Fallout, I was heading over to the Gunrunners, I had heard of Deathclaws before, and they sounded scary and able to kick an Abrams' ass all over the place. And then I saw one, and checked it's HP and found it was a rather strong critter and decided to run, run for all that was holy, pizza, pussy and Santa Claus. It was one of the scariest things I had ever seen in a game, it looked like a fucking demon, and there were three of them!
Fast forward to my Deathclaw experience in Fallout Tactics. They were baby deathclaws, and they sucked, I lined up my squad and blew them away, it was like something out of an Western, like a Clint Eastwood film, where people had Ak-47's. Those Deathclaws sucked royal dick. I've shit things meaner than those little pissant excuses for a opponent. Give me a squad of Super Mutants over those twats any day.
Hell, I didn't even like the Beastlords as a whole, it was like a band of guys who got together and wanted to play Aquaman, but didn't live close enough to the ocean. So instead of having sharks and whales doing shit for them, they have giant bees and those fucking Boom Bugs. That was one of the gayest enemies I have ever encountered in a game, in fact I'm straining to find something even stupider, but it's damn hard. If it wasn't for the fact that they had Deathclaws they would have been the easiest enemy around, with the Raiders being the weakest, although coolest. The only reason the Raiders are so damn weak is because they are the first guys you fight, at least most of them had real guns, and now sticks or zip guns.
In all honesty I think Tactics should have just stayed away from the rest of those baddies, and simply stuck with the Raiders throughout the whole game. It just kind of pissed me off to see that. It goes from perfectly salvageable to utter shit. But that's what Game Utilities were invented for. I think someone ought to implement my ideas, from this thread, and the one about those fucking Boom Bugs. Sounds like it might be a fun game to me. The majority of the weapons are semi-only, much more thought given to melee combat, while at the same time allowing someone to go through the game as a gunslinger. I wont do it for two simple reasons, I don't know how, and I'm too lazy. I just crap out ideas and get credit for them, that's what a Creative Consultant does.
Maybe they should follow the example of the ghouls and live out their lives in a radiated wonderland. You talk to the ghouls and they're insane. They walk around praising the bomb as if it were Jesus Christ riding Ghandi pulled by Buddha. Sure it gave you long life, but there are three major side effects that you can see in the game.
One: they're green and ugly with their skin falling off, but that's what happens when you hang out next to plutonium rods and swim around in toxic goo, you just sort of melt.
Two, your pills don't work, and there is no cure for this, they just shrivel up and die. Seems to me that if I was going to live for 200 years I would also want my beefstick to work properly.
Number three, like I said, they are nuts. They've gone completely insane, but that's what happens when you sit and stare at a atomic bomb all day long. You start to hear things, little voices, telling you to do things, like kill your mom, she's always holding you back, wont let you do your own thing, always yelling at you for coming home late. Kill her, kill her, kill, kill, kill, kill....
Oh I also forgot, they kind of smell, also a side effect of the skin falling off and such, you know since they are, like, rotting. I would kill them all too, it would be a mercy, who the Hell wants to go through life smelling like rotten meat with a tree growing out of their head?
So lets run down the list here, their ugly and green, so they can't get no pussy, even from their own kind, I'm not stuffing my submarine in that polluted swamp she calls a vagina, but it doesn't even matter since it doesn't work right anyway. Then they have the whole nutso thing going on for them, so even if they didn't smell and look like Edvard Munch's The Scream gone horribly wrong, they wouldn't get any because no girl wants to have sex with a crazy man. They're usually unkept, and smell just as bad as rotting flesh. They also have that creepy laugh, you don't want to hear that at the height of passion, ruins the mood. It's like that one time I was using the Magic Porn Box and I found a chick with a lazy eye. Let me tell you, it's damn hard to stroke it and laugh at the same time, one eye was looking at you, and the other was directed at your junk.
Then there's the Deathclaws, I hate the Deathclaws in Tactics. They just look like fruits to me, not like kiwis and such, but like homosexual dinosaurs, especially with the hair it makes them look like they're all wearing feather boas. I remember my first encounter with deathclaws. It was Fallout, I was heading over to the Gunrunners, I had heard of Deathclaws before, and they sounded scary and able to kick an Abrams' ass all over the place. And then I saw one, and checked it's HP and found it was a rather strong critter and decided to run, run for all that was holy, pizza, pussy and Santa Claus. It was one of the scariest things I had ever seen in a game, it looked like a fucking demon, and there were three of them!
Fast forward to my Deathclaw experience in Fallout Tactics. They were baby deathclaws, and they sucked, I lined up my squad and blew them away, it was like something out of an Western, like a Clint Eastwood film, where people had Ak-47's. Those Deathclaws sucked royal dick. I've shit things meaner than those little pissant excuses for a opponent. Give me a squad of Super Mutants over those twats any day.
Hell, I didn't even like the Beastlords as a whole, it was like a band of guys who got together and wanted to play Aquaman, but didn't live close enough to the ocean. So instead of having sharks and whales doing shit for them, they have giant bees and those fucking Boom Bugs. That was one of the gayest enemies I have ever encountered in a game, in fact I'm straining to find something even stupider, but it's damn hard. If it wasn't for the fact that they had Deathclaws they would have been the easiest enemy around, with the Raiders being the weakest, although coolest. The only reason the Raiders are so damn weak is because they are the first guys you fight, at least most of them had real guns, and now sticks or zip guns.
In all honesty I think Tactics should have just stayed away from the rest of those baddies, and simply stuck with the Raiders throughout the whole game. It just kind of pissed me off to see that. It goes from perfectly salvageable to utter shit. But that's what Game Utilities were invented for. I think someone ought to implement my ideas, from this thread, and the one about those fucking Boom Bugs. Sounds like it might be a fun game to me. The majority of the weapons are semi-only, much more thought given to melee combat, while at the same time allowing someone to go through the game as a gunslinger. I wont do it for two simple reasons, I don't know how, and I'm too lazy. I just crap out ideas and get credit for them, that's what a Creative Consultant does.
