Satanisgreat Presents: Movies from Hell

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 3:50 am

satanisgreat wrote: He didn't die in Pulp Fiction

I don't really remember him even being in Pulp Fiction. Its been awhile since I've seen it though.
Edit: Any predictions as to the quality of Kill Bill?

satanisgreat · Post by **satanisgreat** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 3:59 am

Wolfman Walt wrote: Edit: Any predictions as to the quality of Kill Bill?

Predictions? Hmmm... Definitely worth seeing. Though I'm a little disappointed they chopped it into two volumes. It looks good, and RZA produced the soundtrack, but who knows?

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 5:19 am

<a href="http://www.somethingawful.com/download/ ... 202000.wmv"> Modern Horror-classic</A> What does your review give it?

satanisgreat · Post by **satanisgreat** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 5:35 am

Wolfman Walt wrote:<a href="http://www.somethingawful.com/download/ ... 202000.wmv"> Modern Horror-classic</A> What does your review give it?

Oh, man...

I'm on a 56K. I can't download that. Just tell me what it is.

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 5:36 am

satanisgreat wrote: Oh, man...

I'm on a 56K. I can't download that. Just tell me what it is.

Doh! It's just this really horrible spoof of low budget horror films. It's pretty funny though.

ExtremeDrinker · Post by **ExtremeDrinker** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 5:54 am

My Reviews:

Strange Brew - Watch this NOW. Best early 80's movie about beer ever made. And it's Canadian, eh.

UHF - Weird Al...Nuff Said.

Waterworld - Big Budget Blockbuster Flop...But I think it's a damn fine movie.

Postman - Big Budget Blockbuster Flop...Costner's best movie.

Lost Boys - Good movie...Way to fucking overrated.

Going Overboard - The absolute worst movie in existance..Don't believe me? Watch it......Just try to watch it...

Clockwork Orange - Kubric rules...This movies rules...Puts me in the mood for the ole' in-out-in-out...Some ultraviolence.

Cry Baby - John Water's greatest musical...I wish I was a Drape.

Dead Man - Newish Johnny Depp movie...Best black and white western ever.

Brother Of Sleep - German...Subtitled...Great...My favorite foreign film.

Interview With The Vampire - The best vampire movie in creation.

Queen Of The Damned - The worst vampire movie in creation....And yes, I'm taking into account Dracula 2000, and American Vampire, and Once Bitten, and that one with Nicholas Cage.....And even Blackula...This is a total bastardization of Anne Rice's novel...Total shit...I hate it....Can't stress my complete hatred for this movie enough.....

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 5:57 am

ExtremeDrinker wrote: Dead Man - Newish Johnny Depp movie...Best black and white western ever.

I was always partial to Roy Rogers. Also, on the subject of Costner, I heard that his new Western was good. Anyone seen it? I hope so, good westerns are like next to impossible to find nowadays.

satanisgreat · Post by **satanisgreat** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 5:58 am

Does anyone know the name of that movie with Johnny Depp and Marlon Brando where Depp makes a snuff film so his family can collect the money? It's supposed to be really good, but I forgot the name of it.

satanisgreat · Post by **satanisgreat** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 6:01 am

ExtremeDrinker wrote:Queen Of The Damned - The worst vampire movie in creation....And yes, I'm taking into account Dracula 2000, and American Vampire, and Once Bitten, and that one with Nicholas Cage.....And even Blackula...This is a total bastardization of Anne Rice's novel...Total shit...I hate it....Can't stress my complete hatred for this movie enough.....

Yes, and one of the worst bands in existence did the soundtrack, too. Korn sucks.

Clockwork Orange is great. The book's even better. They cut out the last chapter in the movie for some reason.

I do have to say that Waterworld was horrible, though.

ExtremeDrinker · Post by **ExtremeDrinker** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 6:03 am

Depp and Brando are in Ed Wood...That's not a movie about a snuff film...It's about the film director Ed Wood making movies..

Brando and Depp were both in Don Juan Demarco..And they were in The Brave...

The only one remotely dealing with films is Ed Wood..

satanisgreat · Post by **satanisgreat** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 6:04 am

Ah, The Brave. I'm pretty sure that's it. Thanks.

ExtremeDrinker · Post by **ExtremeDrinker** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 6:06 am

The Brave is about an Indian guy....Sort of a western...No snuff, my friend.

satanisgreat · Post by **satanisgreat** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 6:11 am

Snippet from a review:

I had heard little about The Brave, starring its writer/director Johnny Depp, which opened at Cannes in 1997. About 15 minutes in, I realised why. The film takes a basic story, with a whole lot of potential, and overworks it, which is frustrating, not to say disappointing.

Built around a Faustian trajectory, Johnny Depp stars as Raphael, a Native American, living with his family, who seems to ignore him completely, probably because he is unable to put food on the table, in a shanty town, adjunct to a rubbish tip, where they scavenge to survive. Having spent time in and out of jail all his life, Raphael is so desperate that he sells himself to a snuff movie director, trading his own death, so that his family might have a better future.

I guess Depp directed it, too, so it'd be interesting to watch, even if that review says it sucks.

T-900 · Post by **T-900** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 7:05 am

Ok he didn't die in pulp fiction (He gives them coffee.. and... t-shirts.).

Haven't seen Jackie Brown :\

I love the mess his skull makes in Desperado.. Sig Sauer to the face.

Now then: What the hell was wrong with waterworld? big makeshift vehicles (mostly boats.. ooook.) guns. Post apocalyptic settlements (the atoll and the big oil rig were extremely Fallouty.). Psycho's with big hair. Ruined cities. Big monster. Mysterious lone wanderer. Big bad guy with an army of hairy henchmen.

Damn good mewvey!

Slave_Master · Post by **Slave_Master** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 12:23 pm

Also, on the subject of Costner, I heard that his new Western was good. Anyone seen it?

It's kind of boring, and there's some shitty romance thing, but Duvall and Costner were good and there was a fairly decent shootout near the end.

Spazmo · Post by **Spazmo** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 1:51 pm

Waterworld would be cool except for the lame bits where ruff n tuff Costner starts to like and/or love the woman and the kid and also how he becomes the Ultimate Action HERO at the end.

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 1:57 pm

he should have had sex with her in the sea, then HAD A TWIST where he killed and ate her.

Also the stuff on the oil tanker was pretty dumb, as well as the horses and shit at the end. There were other dumb bits too, pretty dumb movie if you dumb me dumb.

atoga · Post by **atoga** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 9:03 pm

Tarantino does, however, die in Resevoir Dogs, hit in the forehead and then killed in a light car crash. And he's nowhere in Jackie Brown.

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 9:50 pm

atoga wrote:Tarantino does, however, die in Resevoir Dogs, hit in the forehead and then killed in a light car crash.

According to Mr. White ((Harvey Kietel)) he was shot in the head. My guess was that the bullet only hit him hard enough to cause his brain to start swelling which allowed him to live for abit long. When his brain ran out of space in his skull, hence he died ((Which is why he died after the "crash". It was more of a small scratch if you ask me)).

satanisgreat · Post by **satanisgreat** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 10:00 pm

Wolfman Walt wrote:
atoga wrote:Tarantino does, however, die in Resevoir Dogs, hit in the forehead and then killed in a light car crash.
According to Mr. White ((Harvey Kietel)) he was shot in the head. My guess was that the bullet only hit him hard enough to cause his brain to start swelling which allowed him to live for abit long. When his brain ran out of space in his skull, hence he died ((Which is why he died after the "crash". It was more of a small scratch if you ask me)).

I didn't think he died, either. I just assumed the blood on his head was from the carcrash, like he hit the windsheild or something. He was still moving and stuff.