Deathclaw story

[Megatron]

Uh...the end is a bit choppy and stuff, but I'm happy with the begining...I just wanted to write it quick
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The first rays of light pierced through the cave, wandering over bones and pieces of armour before finally landing on the deathclaw. The deathclaw was the colour of bloodstained sand; standing around 9 feet tall and a long scar than ran along its belly and up to its mouth. The deathclaw opened up its eye slowly, waving the green snake-like eyes around and then growling slightly as it got up slowly. Hunger. It burned through his mind like a migraine, and he knew it would get worse if he didn't feed. He sniffed the air and finally caught scent of something. It reminded him of the armour he had scattered around his lair. Greasy and dirty. Human. He started the walk towards the pillar of smoke billowing up in the air for his morning snack.

The raider camp was in the process of waking up. The night had been busy, ambushing the caravan full of TNT had been a bad idea. The few guards posted sipped their boiling hot leather and brahmin tea and looked around. A small puny guard practised spinning hi pistol when suddenly he felt 3 warm claws stab through his side then slice him in half. He tried to scream but watched helplessly as the deathclaw towered over him, then bring a claw down to his face. The guards heard a muffled scream but shrugged it off as the tribal they had caught the week before. The deathclaw swaggered into the camp, no one noticing the 9 foot orange lizard. A guard walked round a corner, checking the magazine in his gun when he first saw it. He looked up and saw a pair of horns and a silhouette. He screamed and brought up his shotgun, then his head was separated from his shoulders. The deathclaw feasted on the tough piece of meat, when suddenly more guards came. The deathclaw looked up and growled, leaping 6 feet in the air and crushing a guard, whirling round and slashing two more and goring the last with his horns. A foghorn went off, then the whole raider base was alerted. The deathclaw roared, then picked up a body and galloped out of the base, followed by a hail of bullets.

The deathclaw feasted in its lair, enjoying the soft flesh and went to sleep. He awoke a few hours later to the sound of voices near-by. "I'm sure he went in here" Said one voice, and the deathclaw slinked into the shadows. A group of raiders walked into his lair, swinging their guns around. "Wish we brought a flash-light" said one. They slowly walked deeper into the cave then one at the back stopped. He felt something squish between the hole in his boot. He looked down and saw the gored remains of a raider. He vomited on the meal and the deathclaw narrowed its eyes. It roared and leapt from the shadows, biting and slashing at the raiders. All that was left was the warm blood on the walls and the sliced up body's on the floor. The deathclaw growled in pain at the gunshot wound to the back of his head, glad that he hadn't died. He saw a raider struggle at his feet, blood soaking through his shirt as he fumbled with a radio and screamed through it. The deathclaw picked him up by the stump of his leg and dragged him deeper into the cave, as he screamed more, then stopped followed by the sound of organs hitting the floor.

The raider leader cursed himself for setting up a camp so near the caves. He went back to focusing on the deathclaw family he was going to eat tonight. Damn deathclaws, always killing off people for no reason he thought, accelarating the hummer slightly. Behind him 2 cars and a APC followed, all filled with angry raiders with guns and lots of ammo. The captain smiled to himself as he saw the cave in the distance. They were going to skin him alive, then all the rest of his family.

The deathclaw heard the rumbles to the south and attempted a grin. It cleared all the bones and armour outside, making room for the fight to follow. The humans were nearly they're now, theyre big machines rumbling along the ground, suddenly a flash and rocks flew up in the air. The machines started flashing wildly now, dust and pebbles flying up in the air. The deathclaw roared and retreated deeper into the cave as one of the machines stopped outside, blocking the entrance. Little humans then jumped out and started looking around. The deathclaw hissed as he crawled upwards and looked down. The dirty humans were below him now, and as he dropped and the blood started dripping from the walls, he roared in happiness. He turned around slowly then saw several of the metal sticks pointing at him, then they started to flash and he felt his skin explode in pain. He ran forward under the barrage of bullets and swung a claw round, cutting off the arms of a human. The human screamed in pain as blood covered the deathclaw as he carried on slashing ad hacking away with his claws, making him totally dark red, the blood dripping from all over his body. Only one human left. He was carrying a big stick with some big egg shaped things on his back. He screamed and pulled the trigger, lighting up the cave with napalm. The deathclaw roared as his skin started going tight and blackening. He started running, followed by the human, constantly burning away at his skin and flesh. The deathclaw ran into a big cavern when suddenly the fire from behind stopped. He whirled round and saw the human panic. The deathclaw tried to lift and arm but he couldn't move it, the pain was un-bearable. His other arm worked ok though, and he swung it round and missed the human by a metres. His scorched eyes were almost no use, his eye-lids fused over them. He ran forward and swand a claw, slicing off a small piece of the human. The human screamed and whipped out a small shiny piece of metal, then brought it to the deathclaws side. The knife stabbed through his side and gushed out blood all over the human, but the deathclaw carried on moving, dragging the human along. The deathclaw screeched as he ran forward, slashing again and again with his claws, finally coming to a deep ravine filled with water. He felt the human at his side and grabbed onto him with his weak claw. He smelt the water through his burnt nostrils and gave a grin, cracking most of the skin off his face. He leapt into the ice-cold water and leapt in.

The human screamed, his knife had stuck to his hand through the heat and he could barely breathe. The dark blue water filled his vision, then felt the deathclaw dig its claws deeper into him. His spine finally snapped under the pressure and he stared up at the deathclaw, whos black skin started peeling off in the ice-cold water.

The deathclaw picked itself up from the under-ground lake and stared around. His eye-lids had totally come off and his skin was raw, exposing bare flehs and bones poking through. Every step he took made him scream in pain as he finally looked out into the night sky. He looked where he was. It was a cliff. The rocky side was around 100 metres, not even a deathclaw could curvive the fall. He looked down and flet the pain ache through his body. He sat down slowly and thought of what to do next. A few miutes later it came to him. He stood up shakily and looked over the edge. He took a few-steps back and with a final roar he ran forward, taking a huge leap.

The water in the lake was cool, even the burns all over his body were stand-able in this temperature. He clicked in pleasure nad looked around, the sun coming up in the distance. He felt hi eyes grow heavy and he finally shut them, falling into a deep sleep. The lake vibrated slightly, due to the raiders outside pulling back the burnt vechiles and fallen rocks.but that wouldn't be for a few months.....would it?

[Dogmeat]

I have to say that it was pretty good, a good read.

[Sir_Funkalot]

First of all I am impressed on the "detail-level" of your story.
Secondly, I'll have to threw up because of the "detail-level"... :!:
So if you excuse me...

[Slider]

That was the first story of yours that enjoyed reading and I hope you can keep it up.