Words of wisdom, from the unwise.

Strap · Post by **Strap** » Sun Oct 12, 2003 5:27 pm

Blink for just a second every time you clip toe/finger nails. It will prevent them from flying up and stabbing into your eye.

requiem_for_a_starfury · Sun Oct 12, 2003 5:51 pm

Try cutting your nails after having a bath/shower! They'll be much softer and will not tend to fly off all over the place.

ExtremeDrinker · Post by **ExtremeDrinker** » Sun Oct 12, 2003 6:53 pm

Don't cut your toe nails with cardboard shears, either...Usually lose the end of a toe in the process. If only I had had a digital camera when I did that last time.

Calal · Post by **Calal** » Sun Oct 12, 2003 8:06 pm

When cleaning metal minuature mould lines or make cutting movements with a knife make sure you cut in the direction directly away from your fingers and hand or you' ll end up with blood all over your desk and miniatures.

Yossarian · Post by **Yossarian** » Thu Oct 16, 2003 2:15 pm

- The hobo might be your lecturer, so don't mock him.
- If working with heavy machinery, let somebody explain the safety procedures who speaks a language you understand.
- Don't buy a CD because of a single track.
- Don't try teargas on your own precious self, just to find out if it works
- Do a deep background check on future roommates.
- Don't show fear around zombies.
- Don't tape an anti-personnel mine to your buckler.
- Forget about that tooth piercing
- And about that knee-cap piercing.
- Don't wear a white suede suit in a fist fight.
- Calling your mother names will help no one.
- Try to be dead when they bury you.
- Don't eat dogshit.

Oh my, that went out of hand. I'm sorry.

MurPHy · Post by **MurPHy** » Thu Oct 16, 2003 3:43 pm

Make sure never to pull the trigger of a gun while you point it at yourself. Even if you think its empty. It hurts. A lot.

Grey Fil · Post by **Grey Fil** » Thu Oct 16, 2003 4:11 pm

Dont spit against the wind.
If you pee on the bush, look first.
In a construction area pay attention to nails hidding in planks.
Size doesnt matter in a fight.

requiem_for_a_starfury · Fri Oct 17, 2003 12:55 am

When using the computer late at night, with the lights off, don't leave your headphones on your chair when you get up to make a sandwhich. Because when you sit on them and break them sharp pieces of plastic (and metal) go right where it hurts!

Strap · Post by **Strap** » Fri Oct 17, 2003 1:14 am

Don't try to steal something when there are cameras all over the place... even if you don't think they are watching you.

Silver · Post by **Silver** » Fri Oct 17, 2003 11:00 am

Don't waste time reading this thread, go deflower girls instead.

And it fuckin rhymes too. I am Master.

Forty-six & Two · Post by **Forty-six & Two** » Fri Oct 17, 2003 7:21 pm

Silver wrote:Don't waste time reading this thread, go deflower girls instead.

Hey, good advice there.

requiem_for_a_starfury · Fri Oct 17, 2003 7:28 pm

Unfortunately when you get to my age girls still in need of deflowering fall into three groups,

Jailbait,

The Devout,

Mingers

Jeff · Post by **Jeff** » Sat Oct 18, 2003 12:12 pm

Don't pick up explosives that didn't explode: they could explode in your hand.
Don't put plates on a hot stove: they could explode, too.
Don't try to breakdance if a) you're extremely drunk and b) don't know how to breakdance, you could break your toe pretty bad
Don't hit car windows with your fists? use a baton or something instead, glass in your knuckles is not nice

Dont ever, EVER, spill aftershave on your nuts.

this goes for cold gel, too... it could be a sleepless night

the guardian · Post by **the guardian** » Sat Oct 18, 2003 2:00 pm

The idea of a flaming alcoholic drink might sound cool, but don't forget that fire makes the top of the glass a tad... HOT.

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Sat Oct 18, 2003 3:29 pm

dont wank in the shower
dont leave oven gloves above the stove or something
dont run down stairs
dont set fire to toilet roll?
dont keep a lot of fireworks in one place
dont leave anything above an open flame
dont think that cars will slow down for you

otherwise I can't recall any other accidents I've had recently. oh, and don't leave your keys in the front door if you're going out

Apollo · Post by **Apollo** » Sat Oct 18, 2003 5:06 pm

Don't taunt a rotweiller! Fuck, very scary ten minute chase that was! The dumb bastard got run over though. Still, very scary!

Jeff · Post by **Jeff** » Sat Oct 18, 2003 5:42 pm

Megatron wrote:dont wank in the shower
dont set fire to toilet roll

why not? I've done both, no harm done..

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Sat Oct 18, 2003 5:46 pm

I had to run to the bathroom with it and burnt my hand

I also cut my dick in the shower or something, perhaps I should stop using the iron wool to wash?

Jeff · Post by **Jeff** » Sat Oct 18, 2003 6:40 pm

Perhaps you should stop masturbating with a cheese slicer in the shower?

Tingel Tangel · Post by **Tingel Tangel** » Tue Oct 21, 2003 11:42 am

Never ever drink yourself silly with to much rum, and then let your friend convince you, that you can walk on water. Especially not on April 1st, unless you want to make an April Fools joke to remember.