Why parents are *NOT* allowed to buy a f*cking computer!

Smiley · Post by **Smiley** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 9:57 pm

So get this...

The old man has decided to expand his business along with his partners, Blueline... (travel-company) and we're making an office here in Denmark.
So, good ol' pop gives me a poke and asks me if I'm interested in administrating the new computers...

I say heck yeah, and recommend him to get two laptops and two flatscreens for work-stations, that way you can take work home, and you don't risk the computers being stolen at the office in case of a break-in.

He's all cool with that, and the next day I go to school, come home and find out that he's bought two computers...

Not *ONLY* did he buy two stationary comps, but these are the following specs:

2GHz Celeron
256 DDR
built-in sound, graphics and net-card
Win-HOME edition

In a deep state of chock I almost throttled the man, and barely able to contain myself I explain to him that he just bought two piles of *shit*..!

Get this, the name of both computers are also Blueline... coincidence...

So, I think what the hell and fix both machines up and start fixing cables, the switch and printer/fax/scanner/copy/theworks...
Both machines boot and I enter the keys and get into WinHome...

I leave both alone for 5 minutes still assembling the wonder-printer, when pop asks me if that's a good sign.
Making a 180 degree I see the left com with a RPC... Remote Procedure Call error... anyone who's had blaster knows this is shit, you got about a minute to save your work and kiss the rest goodbye before the piece of shit shuts down by itself...
Like satan casting dooming software spells on me, the right comp follows up! Does *exactly* the same....!

5 minutes after their first boot, they fucking CHRASH?!??!?!?!?
I hadn't even entered any net-cables yet! shit, even if I had the switch isn't running yet since the ADSL modem isn't up..!

tomorrow I'm pulling both pieces of shit into the store and going to use my right of getting new hardware! This is *NOT* my god damn fault, and I am going to make them pay! I'm going to find the shit-ass BITCH who recommended the old man of buying a FREAKIN' CELERON!!!

Now, my question is, have *any* of you ever experienced a machine go down so fast? 5 minutes! *both* machines... that has GOT to be a record!

iohkus · Post by **iohkus** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 10:03 pm

oh lol.

RPC isn't always blaster? did they crash right after you installed the OS?

but yeah... celerons are like buying a KIA...

Smiley · Post by **Smiley** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 10:24 pm

I doubt it's blaster, they aren't even hooked online yet!

OS was pre-installed, all I did was type in the key, 5 minutes later RPC.

but yeah... celerons are like buying a KIA...

F'ckin' A!

SuperH · Post by **SuperH** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 10:29 pm

Yeah, maybe you should like... take them back real fast?
'Cause really... that's the suck.

256 meg of ram... what's he want to do, just run screensavers?

MurPHy · Post by **MurPHy** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 10:43 pm

My God. Celerons? Ugh. My dad did that with a new Gateway, and as soon as I heard about the processor, I immediately told him, to his face:

"You bought a real peice of shit."

He replied, saing something like:

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

To say the least, I was pissed, as I wouldn't be able to use the thing for anything more CPU-intensive than Solitaire! To top it off, it was a 1.1 GHz socket 370 model, so he said that it was faster than my 1GHz Athlon system! That one made me laugh for quite a while. Hell, even a 1.4GHz Pentium III* gets its ass kicked by the Socket A Athlon.

*The fastest PIII you can buy. It was replaced by the 1.5GHz PIV.

5 minutes after their first boot, they fucking CHRASH?!??!?!?!?
I hadn't even entered any net-cables yet! shit, even if I had the switch isn't running yet since the ADSL modem isn't up..!

That really sucks. Another reason why I love Win98.

iohkus · Post by **iohkus** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 10:58 pm

i know it's easy for us to tell shit apart but for old fucks it's not so easy...

Silver · Post by **Silver** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 11:29 pm

Bring a gun to put flair to your arguments of might.

MurPHy · Post by **MurPHy** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 11:31 pm

Silver wrote:Bring a gun to put flair to your arguments of might.

That works for any argument, bar none.

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 12:42 am

I've gotten bored of trying to fix mommas computer. Since it's the family computer, they like to install loads of shit, don't bother to clean anything up and expect me to fix it when it's totally fucked. I end up doing because of all the bitching and shit ("Ok I'll do it, but you have to talk me through it so I know for next time." "Fuck...ok I'll do it.")

I had to format it recently about 14 times. Guess I should have used another copy of windows xp and told my sister not to try and install the sims everytime I've fixed it. I guess whoever designs the really shitty 'family' programs makes it so that 10 year old girls can install it directly into the windows folder or something.

Thor Kaufman · Post by **Thor Kaufman** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 1:12 am

Megatron wrote:I've gotten bored of trying to fix mommas computer. Since it's the family computer, they like to install loads of shit, don't bother to clean anything up and expect me to fix it when it's totally fucked. I end up doing because of all the bitching and shit ("Ok I'll do it, but you have to talk me through it so I know for next time." "Fuck...ok I'll do it.")

I had to format it recently about 14 times. Guess I should have used another copy of windows xp and told my sister not to try and install the sims everytime I've fixed it. I guess whoever designs the really shitty 'family' programs makes it so that 10 year old girls can install it directly into the windows folder or something.

maybe you should make a standard installation and then do an image with a program like Norton Ghost ?
That way you could easily restore a standard configuration and just had to reinstall that one instead of installing loads of drivers and shit every time

POOPERSCOOPER · Post by **POOPERSCOOPER** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 1:19 am

Last I heard business computers don't need to be able to play games decently. Also buying laptops is a waste if your dads an idiot, one drop and you'll loose the harddrive and the battery will last about a month before turning to crap. BUT THATS JUST ME!

MurPHy · Post by **MurPHy** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 1:20 am

Thor Kaufman wrote:maybe you should make a standard installation and then do an image with a program like Norton Ghost ?
That way you could easily restore a standard configuration and just had to reinstall that one instead of installing loads of drivers and shit every time

Either that, or charge 10 bucks every time you have to fix it. That way, you'll either make a few hundred dollars, or they'll wise up real quick.

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 1:48 am

Thor Kaufman wrote:maybe you should make a standard installation and then do an image with a program like Norton Ghost ?
That way you could easily restore a standard configuration and just had to reinstall that one instead of installing loads of drivers and shit every time

Yea, I made a master backup and shit. Mostly though it was just loads of errors and people going on it while I was gone or half-way through installing crap.

The money idea isnt bad though.

InvisibleMonkey · Post by **InvisibleMonkey** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 2:31 am

I have a Celeron, though thay wasn't my choice, I wanted an Athlon, but noooo.

Doyle · Post by **Doyle** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 2:54 am

Don't be so hard on the old man. This is a business computer, so the celeron will work fine. Now if the computers have been fuxx0red somehow, sounds like they have, then definitely exchange them. Don't bother getting a 3GHz P4 though, because that's a waste of money for what your dad wants.

Franz Schubert · Post by **Franz Schubert** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 4:53 am

POOPERSCOOPER wrote:Also buying laptops is a waste if your dads an idiot, one drop and you'll loose the harddrive and the battery will last about a month before turning to crap. BUT THATS JUST ME!

No, first of all buy insurance, secondly, when you pay over $1000 bucks on something, be careful with it!

My main point is this: Get a Centrino processor, that's what I have (my main comp is a laptop) and it pwns, I've got a 5-6 hour battery life, which is nice.

Mandalorian FaLLouT GoD · Fri Dec 12, 2003 5:00 am

my parents arent even remotely computer literate and even they know that celerons are garbage.

shit a 2gig celeron is like having a 1gig normal pentium. silly half cache rate.

EDIT: i went and bought a whole system for under 1000 canadian. towers an hp athlon 2.4gig.

Stainless · Post by **Stainless** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 2:13 pm

I usually have to do most things on computers in my house. My dad used to program computers in machine without a monitor, but I have to type all his shit and fix all the problems that befall it.

Then I have my mum who's pedantic about everything (it booted up a little slow. Maybe it has something to do with it being a P2 233. But nooooo it HAS to be the fucking brand new sound card. Why don't we just buy an entire new comp. nfi.)

I had to format it recently about 14 times. Guess I should have used another copy of windows xp and told my sister not to try and install the sims everytime I've fixed it. I guess whoever designs the really shitty 'family' programs makes it so that 10 year old girls can install it directly into the windows folder or something.

Do what my mate did. Set your family to different user settings and give your sister limited access. His sister would install anything that popped up, including Gator and Bonsai Buddy.

MurPHy · Post by **MurPHy** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 7:19 pm

Franz_Schubert wrote:My main point is this: Get a Centrino processor, that's what I have (my main comp is a laptop) and it pwns, I've got a 5-6 hour battery life, which is nice.

Erm....

There's no such thing as a "Centrino" CPU. It's a marketing term. This is how it works: If your're laptop has an Intel CPU, and Intel chipset, and an Intel NIC, then it's a "Centrino" laptop. Kinda stupid, huh?

atoga · Post by **atoga** » Sat Dec 13, 2003 5:59 am

I'm not computer-savvy by any means, but I'm still a computer genius compared to my parents. Funny, since my dad is a computer scientist. He acts like he knows this stuff, but his field of knowledge is more theoretical than practical; he knows AI, logic, and things like that, but he often has trouble doing simple stuff like installing software.

Anyway, it's really annoying since whenever I want to do something computer-related and he is opposed he's like "now which one of us has a degree in computer since lol". Fucking asshole.

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Why parents are NOT allowed to buy a f*cking computer!

Why parents are NOT allowed to buy a f*cking computer!