Enjoy your McBSE Burgers while you can!

Ernesto · Post by **Ernesto** » Tue Dec 30, 2003 7:16 am

So, let's recap now!

After Canada has opposed Gulf War 2: This Time It's Not Gulf War 1, us Canucks has gone through...

SARS
British Columbian forest fires
Albertan Mad Cow
And of course, we will be blamed for North American Mad Cow Incident 2: This Time It's Not North American Mad Cow Incident 1.

God loves Dubya.

Menno · Post by **Menno** » Tue Dec 30, 2003 8:15 am

As history has proven, it's always Canada's fault.

The Gaijin · Post by **The Gaijin** » Tue Dec 30, 2003 8:49 am

Menno-Your quote is absolutely hilarious. I laughed for ten minutes the day my father told me about Jimmy the Greek.

Kashluk · Post by **Kashluk** » Tue Dec 30, 2003 4:09 pm

I've heard of only one case of BSE here in Finland... I guess it had no chance of spreading, cause they slaughtered the whole cattle of that guy + every cattle within twenty miles or some other shit. Lot's of wasted meat... I can only imagine how bad it got in Britain.

So, who is this Jimmy the Greek - guy?

The Gaijin · Post by **The Gaijin** » Tue Dec 30, 2003 8:34 pm

He was a sportscaster for Monday night football (not Europe football, but US CRAZY FOOTBALL), and Menno's quote is something he said on the air. Right after he said that they cut to commercial, and that was the last time Jimmy the Greek was a sportscaster.

ExtremeDrinker · Post by **ExtremeDrinker** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 5:33 am

I got really drunk a few years back, and my buddy had just stolen a DV camera..So we went on a drunken mission to dry hump a sheep and tape it...Starts out with a group of 15 people led by yours truely wandering to some farm and climbing the fence..Then me saying "Holy living fuck, there's a cow over here..I'm not going in there" Everyone calls me a wuss, and I end up letting them film me pee on a calf.

Franz Schubert · Post by **Franz Schubert** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 5:47 am

Did you use protection?

ExtremeDrinker · Post by **ExtremeDrinker** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 6:13 am

Pants...I wasn't going to have sex with a sheep..I was just going to hump it with my pants on..But then I saw that cow, and had to leave..Cows are freaky.

The Gaijin · Post by **The Gaijin** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 9:19 am

Dude, cows? Why would you be wary around the most docile animals short of sloths?

Grey Fil · Post by **Grey Fil** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 9:47 am

Because they are "HORNY"?

ANd they can kick real good too...

airsoft guy · Post by **airsoft guy** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 11:51 am

Cows are bastards, you may think they're docile, but if you look at the, wrong they freak out. My neighbor had this one cow that hated me, any time I came near the fence she would make like she wanted to kill me. They shot her in the head and sent her off to become baoon double cheeseburgers.

It's Canada's fault for everything. Everyone says Hitler was from Austria, no, he was from Saskatchewan. See he blamed the Jews for all the troubles in the world, but nope, it was his native Canada that did it, who turned Jesus in? The Jews, wrong, Canadians. Who fucked the monkey to get AIDS? Canadian. And who can forget their most devious plot, Canadian bacon is just ham for Christ's sake! You monsters! I bet they'll have a hand in destroying the world allowing apes to take over.

Burnov · Post by **Burnov** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 8:17 pm

I live in Edmonton which is like, really close to where they traced the BSE-infected cow to. Funny thing is most of the beef we get around here is actually coming from australia or somewhere else. We export most of ours so I'm not concerned. I'm not surprised that something hasn't been found in saskatchewan. Farmers out there are shady. I knew a farmer actually who let me and my cousin shoot on his land and we found tons and tons of dead charred cattle.

He said it was a shoot and burn operation. He didn't specify any particular problem but he says it's way too expensive if the health department got involved so he just shot a ton of his cattle and burned them.

Despite the fact that americans might find it easy to make fun of Canada. The only really cool thing about living in the states would be acquiring a class 3 firearms licence. That's only in specific states too... so eh. We've got healthcare, we don't piss off middle eastern countries. Our dollar on the -world- market is bad however it's obvious we share the same quality of life as most americans do. Unless you live in a poor-ass province (*coughsaskatchewancough*)

Aside from the fact that my country has absofuckinglutely fucking stupid gun laws. I think many neighbors from south of the border don't know enough about us to realise how similar both countries are, and the perhaps more subtle benefits to living here which might be lost in all the infantile canada-jabbing going on. =P

To be honest out west here I don't really draw any distinction between our bordering neighbors in terms of any discernable differences. Most americans base their stereotypes on eastern canadians anyhow. Ie: The funny talking Newfoundlanders who say "Aboot", and well... french canadians. 'Nuff said about them. Finally the only people I've ever seen saying "eh" are natives.

PerroViejo · Post by **PerroViejo** » Wed Dec 31, 2003 8:59 pm

Burnov, don't sweat it bro, its just typical American one upmanship. Rather like "Revenge of the Nerds" apparently we can't feel good enough about ourselves without poking infantile, sophomoric fun at others.

Still you can't also forget that wonderful musical number in the South Park movie: "Blame Canada".

Remember, its just humor; Besides you guys need to pay us back in kind, like the Brits do.

Kashluk · Post by **Kashluk** » Thu Jan 01, 2004 12:29 am

Cows are great. I've been involved in cattle drives & the whole life spring of single animals since I was 7 years old.
"From the cradle to the grave", they say, "From the day you carry the newborn calf from the field back inside to the day when you give it a good swing with the back of your axe", I say.
Cows are amazing animals... They can create a lifetime lasting loyalty to their owner, very much like normal pets do. Besides that, they're also smart and have a strict sense of hierarchy. The oldest cow with the biggest horns *always* leaves the cowstable first. If a younger one wants to be her rival, there'll be a fight and so on... A fight over the position of an alfa-female

And the biggest plus is, that beef tastes better than pork.

American Tourister · Post by **American Tourister** » Thu Jan 01, 2004 2:44 am

Some of the guys I work with are proud of being, as they put it, "stumpbreakers".

They claim that they can teach a cow to back up to a treestump, which they stand on and...nevermind. :shock:

Come to think of it, I wonder if unprotected stumpbreaking could spread mad cow disease.

Sol Invictus · Post by **Sol Invictus** » Thu Jan 01, 2004 2:59 am

Beef is unhealthy shit. Stick to pork and chicken. Burger King is awesome, though. Fuck McDonalds - that stuff tastes like grime scraped out of a sewage pipe.

OnTheBounce · Post by **OnTheBounce** » Thu Jan 01, 2004 3:14 am

Exitium wrote:Beef is unhealthy shit. Stick to pork and chicken.

You're overlooking a crucial aspect of eating beef, Exitium: mercy. Cows are stupid and ugly animals. You really are doing them a favor by eating them.

OTB

Sol Invictus · Post by **Sol Invictus** » Thu Jan 01, 2004 4:35 am

Chickens are stupid too.

I propose we eat people. People are dumber than cows.

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Thu Jan 01, 2004 4:41 am

cows were made for eating though, how much decent healthy meat is on a human?

OnTheBounce · Post by **OnTheBounce** » Thu Jan 01, 2004 4:50 am

Exitium wrote:Chickens are stupid too.

I'm not proposing that we stop eating chickens. There's an element of mercy in that, too.

Exitium wrote:I propose we eat people. People are dumber than cows.

Yes, and if you eat certain portions of them (e.g. the brain) you're looking to get the human equivalent of Mad Cow Disease. Better to find some other way of "groking the essense" of your fellow tribesmen.

OTB