www.selfabuse.org

Kashluk · Post by **Kashluk** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 8:30 pm

This is some funny shiz-natch!

Q. Dear Bible Answer Guy, I am a born again Christian woman, I go to church every Sunday, read my Bible 6 hours each day and pray at least 4 hours each day.

I am not sure about my husband. He says he is saved but here is what really bothers me. He keeps asking me to perform a certain sexual favor for him. I think it is disgusting and also against the Bible. I have told him so. He says that is nonsense and keeps on asking me every day. I keep telling him that I don't want to do that and then kiss our children with the same mouth.

What do you suggest?

A. What yer husband is asking is a very unselfish thing for him. He is not concerned for his own pleasure, he is only concerned about the two of you bonding. And this is one way to bond.

What most women don't know is that what he is asking you to do to him is VERY VERY painful to men. There is absolutely no pleasure involved for him. I mean, it really hurts a man while you are doing it to him. It almost hurts as bad as when you are having kidney stones or giving birth. If you don't believe me, just stop and take a look at how his eyes are shut tight and how painfully contorted his face is while you are doing it.

So you see, he is acting in a very selfless, manner and thinking only of you.

Perform the favor gladly! Twice! Afterward, get up and cook him a nice dinner with candles and a little non-alcoholic wine.

EDIT: Colors changed

ExtremeDrinker · Post by **ExtremeDrinker** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 9:13 pm

Any way you could change those colors? Looks like ass on my end.

I like that, though...I'm gonna tell my girlfriend that "it really hurts me, but I'm doing this so we can bond" next time she says "not tonight"

Role-Player · Post by **Role-Player** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 11:05 pm

Wow. Just WOW.

Strap · Post by **Strap** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 11:14 pm

It depends on what kind of favor he is really asking for... That could be a face of overwhelming pleasure or one of utter pain. But then again, if he did infact ask for the painful one I would think that he wanted it to be painful, and thus he would find pleasure in it.

I really don't like the bible. (or religius nuts)

Mandalorian FaLLouT GoD · Wed Mar 24, 2004 1:28 am

i posted that website, out of context, in a thread not to long ago.

Kashluk · Post by **Kashluk** » Wed Mar 24, 2004 6:56 am

Yeah, well, everyone with an IQ of a leather boot will understand the site is a one big joke after they've read a few of those articles... It's a mockery of fundamental Christianity. And very funny one, too.

There's some really cool stuff about abortion, masturbation (hence the site's name), divorce, animal rights etc.