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Just been over at SomethingAwful.com, reading the stories of awkward parents. This one kinda shocked me. How fucking horrible this guy's life must be.
My mother kicked my father out when I was 7. It was in the morning before school, and my brother and I were eating our breakfasts to the sound of our parents yelling at each other (a common occurrence at the time). I slowly realize my father has a suitcase and is leaving to stay with his brother. As my father leaves the house towards his '87 Chevy Blazer, my mother yells "And take your farts with you!"
When I was about 11 my mom told me I wasn't planned. She wasn't angry she told me in a matter of fact way, during a casual conversation we were having.
At 12 my mother told me she had an abortion not long after I was born.
At 14 my mother mentioned that they were involved with Columbians during the eighties. For reasons that needn't be mentioned.
Also at 14 my mother mentioned being with an "open marriage" crowd during a period that occurred before I was born.
At 16 my mother tells me she may have freebased when she first became pregnant with me, among other things, and "ha ha, the doctor said you looked like you were going through withdrawals".
Sweet
