Republican Rhetoric

MurPHy · Post by **MurPHy** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 11:39 am

Meh. Stolen from ORSM.

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day. The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question".

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln." The teacher said, "That's right Susie. You can go." Johnny was MAD.

The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King." The teacher said, "That's right Mary. You can go." Johnny was even MADDER than before.

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy." The teacher said, "That's right Nancy. You can go." Johnny was BOILING MAD.

Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut." The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny said, "BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?"

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EDIT: Also stolen from ORSM.

"A little girl was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders
mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a daddy long legs." her father answered.
"So, the other one is a mommy long legs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy long legs,"
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped
them flat.
"Well, we're not having THAT sort of poofter shit in our garden!"

Jimmyjay86 · Post by **Jimmyjay86** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 1:19 pm

airsoft guy wrote:As stated before they are both assholes, but to me Bush is the lesser asshole.

EFFEXOR wrote:Kerry seems like a lesser of 2 evils.

You guys are both mistaken here. It isn't about the lesser of two evils, it's about known evils. It's one thing to be an evil senator but the greater evil will always be done as a world leader. Bush is a known evil that has devastated foreign policy, fumbled taxes, destroyed american freedoms, pushed through environmentally disastrous regulations, and made a laughing stock out of the political process in 2000. It actually goes beyond evil and those things are just the tip of the iceberg. Maybe Kerry has lied but Bush continues to take lying to the nth degree by trying to stick to his "weapons of mass destruction in Iraq" construction. Hitler could barely wreak the blatant destruction that Bush has in 4 years.

jetbaby · Post by **jetbaby** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 1:23 pm

A. Go to www.johnkerryisadouchebagbutimvotingforhimanyway.com

B. Read it.

C. Another plug for TR is this glorious quote (among maaaaany), "To announce that there should be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American people."

D. Murph, what the hell is ORSM, those are hilarious.

MurPHy · Post by **MurPHy** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 1:36 pm

1. Go to www.orsm.com (Not work safe)

2. Love it.

3. Go to the forums.

4. Go here: (you need to register): http://www.orsmforums.net/viewtopic.php ... sc&start=0

That is the long-ass continuous humor thread. I've been reading through it for about 4 hours now, and I'm on page 6 or so.

Have fun.

atoga · Post by **atoga** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 3:51 pm

Guest wrote:John Kerry is a little lying worm of a liar. He is a disgrace to the US armed forces and to all vietnam veterans. God save our military if he gets elected.

Where'd you hear that? Republican-funded TV commercials, which basically made up a bunch of shit about John Kerry's war record? Maybe you should do your reading, and realize that George W. Bush's war record isn't anything to brag about, either.

Bush is a walking contradiction, Kerry is also on the deceptive side (though at least he doesn't take too many cheap shots at Bush, which is worth something), and Ralph Nader seems to have some nice ideals but he's a little on the coherent side. Basically your whole political system sucks, and the situation sucks. Move to Canada?

You know what the worst part is, though? George W. was compared to the likes of Winston Churchill at the Republican convention for his war effort. That alone is so fucking stupid.

Kashluk · Post by **Kashluk** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 4:00 pm

your whole political system sucks, and the situation sucks

That's what I think in a nutshell.
Ralph Nader really deserves a chance.

atoga · Post by **atoga** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 4:08 pm

I like Nader best of the three, but he's really not all that great. A radical is always good in a situation like this, even if he is kind of incoherent.

As for America itself, it can resolve in one of two ways as the 'brain drain' can go either way: either all the smart people on the left in America will gain enough momentum to change the political system so it's a little more reasonable, or they'll leave and America will go almost entirely right. I'm convinced that pretty soon, there won't be such a 50-50 standoff and America will choose one or the other, go about some wacky changes, and the rest of the world can have a laugh about it before they either start rejoicing or get really fucking scared.

Kashluk · Post by **Kashluk** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 4:14 pm

Well, if I were an American, he'd be the only guy I'd ever vote for president. Incoherency can be just as good or bad as overly done concentration. Men of "strong lines" will draw the future of nations, sure, but 90% of the time they fuck up big time. Those who take responsibility from here and there and never begin decade-taking crusades might not make such a big difference, but at least they will do good. Neutrality, all the way.

SDMVersion3 · Post by **SDMVersion3** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 9:54 pm

Careful! You're treading on dangerous ground with that one. Movies by Michael Moore are well known to be his personal propaganda machines. Joseph Gobbels would be proud.

You shouldn't rely on what is said in any of his films. His view of reality is skewed to the point where he sees things only how he wants to, damn everybody else.

1. I'm not relying on him to tell me anything; he has a short video clip of Clinton talking, several infact.

2. Moore gets a lot of flack for being a propoganda machine. Not undue, but EVERYTHING has an agenda. Moore's agenda is liberal. He also likes to spin things to fit a viewpoint which is pretty out there. But he's not doing anything every politican hasn't done; he just has a much more radical perspective.

3. Moore has sources. When he says something is a fact, he has someone backing him up. Whether it's true or false, he's not the only one who thinks it's true.

Anyway, while I like Moore, I admit (as you have to) that it's just propoganda, much of it wild eyed propoganda as well. That doesn't make his movies not worth watching... I didn't know before BFC that the Columbine killers had made plans to hijack planes and crash them into buildings. What might have seemed insane at the time doesn't seem so now. It's just a matter of knowing the difference between the truth, and his truth, and you can never read one dirt sheet and know the truth.

jetbaby · Post by **jetbaby** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 10:05 pm

Yeah, all those video clips... that tell the truth... like in bowling for columbine. We remember that one... right? Nice video clips and voice edits. Let's patch random parts together to make a message utterly unintended because I'm a propagandist. A liberal propagandist. Oh, wait, I don't really give a flying fuck, because I'm not liberal, just anti-conservative. And want money. Because I'm Michael-fucking-Moore, bitches.

http://www.hardylaw.net/Bowlingtranscript.html

SDMVersion3 · Post by **SDMVersion3** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 10:14 pm

Wow. Did he fuck your mother or something?

OMG he editted the Heston video. Quick, grab your guns and lets shoot his fat ass! Hooray for conservatism!

Doc Hill · Post by **Doc Hill** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 10:18 pm

Okay, rant time, hold onto your handbags. 1st, I like Michael Moore . Why? Because he stirs up controversy, and makes people act like idiots, that is highly amusing. Two, read, Kerry deserves his medals, and is a gunuine hero, the fact that he spoke out against Vietnam after doing his duty only proves the fact. Third, Bush is an idiot in my opinion. He's pissed of 2/3 of the un, has us invested in something worse than Vietnam, and the economy is in the crapper.Am I liberal? Hell yes. Could I kick Charelton Heston;'s ass, even with a slightly gimped leg? Yes. Liberal doesn't mean weak. I want America strong..but not ignorant. Vote your conscience, don't listen to other people's opinion, form your own, I have.
Ah...I've missed ranting.

SDMVersion3 · Post by **SDMVersion3** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 10:22 pm

I like Doc Hill already.

Also, wait a minute jetbaby... you mean people EDIT movies? CRAZY.

Moore editted out Heston's self-important "I love America" rhetoric and got down to the bones of the issue. Putting in the Cold Dead Hands statement would only fool stupid people, as it's obviously not how you open a speech but how you close one.

The edit job on Heston wasn't that bad. Anyone who did any research would have seen it, and if you're only getting your information from one source, you are an idiot.

MurPHy · Post by **MurPHy** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 11:22 pm

The edit job on Heston wasn't that bad. Anyone who did any research would have seen it, and if you're only getting your information from one source, you are an idiot.

I agree that the edit job itself wasn't that bad. The way he carefully spliced the images in..etc. How he perverted the speech was what turned me off. He put his own spin on it, instead of looking at it objectively. Bad, bad man.

Also, the fact that he only got his information from only one source does not mean he is an idiot. He simply didn't A. have the time to properly cross-reference the topic, B. Didn't care that damn much, or C. There is no C. I'm guessing B. But that's just me!

I have a feeling that this thread will very soon turn from an objective look about the candidates, into a full-fleged flame war. Lay off with the personal attacks mate. They are not needed.

SDMVersion3 · Post by **SDMVersion3** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 12:13 am

Eh, he attacked Moore, and poorly. I responded poorly. Blame is mutual.

Also, the fact that he only got his information from only one source does not mean he is an idiot. He simply didn't A. have the time to properly cross-reference the topic, B. Didn't care that damn much, or C. There is no C. I'm guessing B. But that's just me!

I'm guessing B too. There is no doubt that Moore is partisan and selective in his research.

I've already stated that I am not a Democrat and I do not like Kerry. I just hate Bush, and the smear tactics he used. It's not fair to attack Moore and then look the other way when Rove hires a bunch of disgruntled veterans to attack Kerry.

the jackal · Post by **the jackal** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 12:16 am

Ive heard bush is PRO outsourcing

SDMVersion3 · Post by **SDMVersion3** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 12:23 am

Outsourcing is a horrible practice and should be stopped. It is fucking the American economy.

the jackal · Post by **the jackal** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 12:25 am

Agreed, goddamn hindis taking all the jobs.

SDMVersion3 · Post by **SDMVersion3** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 12:26 am

the jackal · Post by **the jackal** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 12:28 am

go ......

yourself