Rather than digging dead threads. AKA The Picture Thread
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POOPERSCOOPER
- Paparazzi
- Posts: 5035
- Joined: Sat Apr 05, 2003 1:50 am
- Location: California
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Thor Kaufman
- Mamma's Gang member
- Posts: 5081
- Joined: Mon Dec 16, 2002 11:56 am
- Contact:
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Thor Kaufman
- Mamma's Gang member
- Posts: 5081
- Joined: Mon Dec 16, 2002 11:56 am
- Contact:
Substitute teacher.PiP wrote:you've only just passed the finals and you're already a highschol teacher?
best regards to your lady.
I think I'm gonna visit Finland sometime soon.
I assume that means hand out the forms (fill in the blank,true/false, etc.).
Then sit back and read a newspaper.
That's what it usually means in US anyway.
Oh fuck yeah. That's sluttin' it with some style. And boots. I love boots. Nice, big fuck me boots. One time when I was like 20 I saw a recently emancipated grrl at community college and she was all hot shit with this wool sweater and these furry boots. These boots had like faux fur on the outside, so they looked kinda puffy. Hard to describe. Really hot, though. Anyways, I was enamoured, plus I have a nose for loose morals, so I sauntered on over and turned on my charms, and by charms I mean blundering idiocy.baby arm wrote:I like it when chicks wear hoop earrings.
Somehow, I actually got a phone number out of it. Liason ensued. Months later I conspired to get this girl hired at the fast food shithole where I slaved. Think that girl in the picture only less Asiatic and more Black Irish. Great tan, chunky in all the right places, but lower-set cheekbones, and these tits, man they rode up high naturally, like she wore a push-up bra so much that they stayed in place one day. And she'd wear anything, man. I just had to buy it. Holy Jeez.
Oh man and she was crazy too. I'll call her Alison. In my high school days, we used to call general vandalism FSU. That is, fucking shit up. There was kind of a double entendre with Florida State in there as well. It only got worse until I was, well, I still pull some nasty pranks on occasion, so... Anyways, the twisted fun in paintballing people and potato-bombing houses rarely involved females. But this girl had a criminality about her that I really admired. One time we stole a drive-thru headset and terrorized numerous other fast food joints in a twenty mile radius that operated on the same frequency.
Subtlety was probably the funniest way. Like taking ten orders, giving half-assed prices, filling up the drive-thru queue, and listening to the confused chatter in the aftermath. That was mean. Or "Welcome to Dunkin' fuckin' Dounts. What can I get for you?!" Some people even missed it, requiring directed rudeness. Usually elicits laughter from the younger people, but the old farts were a blast. They would get all irate and pissy. And we could override the kids on the inside very easily for some reason. Hiding behind the dumpsters, out back, maybe it was closer, and outside... I don't know. Anyways, "Yeah I am the fuckin' manager. Why don't you come on in and we'll talk about it, face to face, asshole?!" The actual night manager would be frantically trying to affirm his true identity, but we'd overrule him. And when they explained "We're getting pranked" it only seemed to make the customers even more angry. Meanwhile, on the 'internal-only' headset channel, the manager would be flipping out, threatening various 911 calls and generally going Ohshitohshitohshitohshit. Sometimes we'd start out by giving contradicting orders to the emloyees. Manager says, "Susie, go to the freezer and get milk." We'd say, no actually take the order at the window instead. Or we'd chime in with, "No, wait. Why don't you come to the office, babe? I've got a hot pepper to put up your ass. You won't see my face for an hour, Susie Q" or something similarly 'shocking.'
That's actually part of another story, because an El Taco Manager friend of mine had this Slavic wench working that he wanted gone. She didn't do anything wrong, though. And she showed up on time and stuff. But a real pain in the ass. Lazy, mouty, and stabby. She would start goofing off, and then get really mad when somebody squirted hot sauce on her. Cunt. Horseplay became fighting off this girl for real, who could kick my ass, let alone my skinny, pansy friend. Alison couldn't do a Russian voice, but it didn't matter as there were no other females on closing duty that fateful night at El Taco. And after that night the complaints came in torrents. Needless to say the lazy Ukrainian girl was canned with extreme prejudice. I only regret not having made some kind of prior arrangement with my friend, like I bet you twenty bucks that your Eastern Front troubles are over in three days time or pay me fifty dollars and I'll smoke the bitch or something. Funny shit though.
I used to drive through when my friend Mr. Taco Manager was working at his shitty job, order my trademark taco, and then drive up to the window and unload as many paintballs as I could at the poor sap who came to the window, before they could slam it shut. It was so much fun, and after awhile anyone who sounded like me/ordered the same idiosyncratic taco order that I did found themselves getting really shitty service. I heard about this later, and even used it to my advantage for a grand return. I'd take a borrowed vehicle. "Harry, go away. We just mopped." Who?! I just want a taco! What's your problem in there? Gotcha.
All this before cameras and digital recording became the norm. Sucks, because it was only four or five years ago 'round these parts. Fucking foodservice terrorism.
Bed time. Nighty nite!
Subtlety was probably the funniest way. Like taking ten orders, giving half-assed prices, filling up the drive-thru queue, and listening to the confused chatter in the aftermath. That was mean. Or "Welcome to Dunkin' fuckin' Dounts. What can I get for you?!" Some people even missed it, requiring directed rudeness. Usually elicits laughter from the younger people, but the old farts were a blast. They would get all irate and pissy. And we could override the kids on the inside very easily for some reason. Hiding behind the dumpsters, out back, maybe it was closer, and outside... I don't know. Anyways, "Yeah I am the fuckin' manager. Why don't you come on in and we'll talk about it, face to face, asshole?!" The actual night manager would be frantically trying to affirm his true identity, but we'd overrule him. And when they explained "We're getting pranked" it only seemed to make the customers even more angry. Meanwhile, on the 'internal-only' headset channel, the manager would be flipping out, threatening various 911 calls and generally going Ohshitohshitohshitohshit. Sometimes we'd start out by giving contradicting orders to the emloyees. Manager says, "Susie, go to the freezer and get milk." We'd say, no actually take the order at the window instead. Or we'd chime in with, "No, wait. Why don't you come to the office, babe? I've got a hot pepper to put up your ass. You won't see my face for an hour, Susie Q" or something similarly 'shocking.'
That's actually part of another story, because an El Taco Manager friend of mine had this Slavic wench working that he wanted gone. She didn't do anything wrong, though. And she showed up on time and stuff. But a real pain in the ass. Lazy, mouty, and stabby. She would start goofing off, and then get really mad when somebody squirted hot sauce on her. Cunt. Horseplay became fighting off this girl for real, who could kick my ass, let alone my skinny, pansy friend. Alison couldn't do a Russian voice, but it didn't matter as there were no other females on closing duty that fateful night at El Taco. And after that night the complaints came in torrents. Needless to say the lazy Ukrainian girl was canned with extreme prejudice. I only regret not having made some kind of prior arrangement with my friend, like I bet you twenty bucks that your Eastern Front troubles are over in three days time or pay me fifty dollars and I'll smoke the bitch or something. Funny shit though.
I used to drive through when my friend Mr. Taco Manager was working at his shitty job, order my trademark taco, and then drive up to the window and unload as many paintballs as I could at the poor sap who came to the window, before they could slam it shut. It was so much fun, and after awhile anyone who sounded like me/ordered the same idiosyncratic taco order that I did found themselves getting really shitty service. I heard about this later, and even used it to my advantage for a grand return. I'd take a borrowed vehicle. "Harry, go away. We just mopped." Who?! I just want a taco! What's your problem in there? Gotcha.
All this before cameras and digital recording became the norm. Sucks, because it was only four or five years ago 'round these parts. Fucking foodservice terrorism.
Bed time. Nighty nite!
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POOPERSCOOPER
- Paparazzi
- Posts: 5035
- Joined: Sat Apr 05, 2003 1:50 am
- Location: California
