Ahtung! Far Cry role for sale on eBay!

Talk about music, movies, TV, books, other types of entertainment and what your vices are. Also, if you're addicted to the high you get off Aspirin, this is the place to talk about it.
Post Reply
User avatar
Alexander
Strider Elite
Strider Elite
Posts: 968
Joined: Sun Aug 08, 2004 3:14 pm
Location: Hell

Ahtung! Far Cry role for sale on eBay!

Post by Alexander »

The infamous Uwe Boll is attempting to auction off a role in his upcoming Far Cry movie...

Yes, this is especially directed at you, Drednut, for a mere $3300 you will get your fat, sickle-cell-anemia-ridden body starred in one of Uwe's masterpieces.
You will run around a tropical island with a lot of heavy artillery shooting bad guys and driving Jeeps through the lush jungles.

Hurry before another spoiled, rich-kid asshat gets it!

Source.

eBay auction
There are no 'knowns'. There are thing we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say there are things that we now know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know. So when we do the best we can and we pull all this information together, and we then say well that's basically what we see as the situation, that is really only the known knowns and the known unknowns. And each year, we discover a few more of those unknown unknowns.
Image
User avatar
S4ur0n27
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member
Posts: 15172
Joined: Sat Jun 01, 2002 10:14 am
Contact:

Post by S4ur0n27 »

Is it the first role? The damn thing is in german gibberish :aiee:
User avatar
Wolfman Walt
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member
Posts: 5243
Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2003 1:31 pm
Location: La Grange, Kentucky
Contact:

Post by Wolfman Walt »

Is it sad that I'm considering snipe buying that shit to get in? I have the money left over and I also want to ruin a movie one day, but....how much more damage could I really do to this film that Uwe Boll wouldn't do himself?
Blargh
Ãœberkommando
Ãœberkommando
Posts: 6303
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2003 7:11 pm

Post by Blargh »

Why you could remember to pack your suicide bomber vest, Walt. Sleight of clothes. :drunk:
User avatar
VasikkA
No more Tuna
No more Tuna
Posts: 8703
Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2002 6:14 pm

Post by VasikkA »

You could apply some martial arts would you cross paths with the great director himself.
User avatar
Wolfman Walt
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member
Posts: 5243
Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2003 1:31 pm
Location: La Grange, Kentucky
Contact:

Post by Wolfman Walt »

VasikkA wrote:You could apply some martial arts would you cross paths with the great director himself.
Good point, I'd just have to describe how horrible House of the Dead is to him and he'd flip a gasket and challenge me to a fight that'd appear on the movie.
User avatar
S4ur0n27
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member
Posts: 15172
Joined: Sat Jun 01, 2002 10:14 am
Contact:

Post by S4ur0n27 »

We should all pool a few bucks and send :psychosniper:
User avatar
mixmastermind
Vault Dweller
Vault Dweller
Posts: 113
Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2006 2:08 am

Re: Ahtung! Far Cry role for sale on eBay!

Post by mixmastermind »

Alexander wrote:Yes, this is especially directed at you, Drednut, for a mere $3300 you will get your fat, sickle-cell-anemia-ridden body starred in one of Uwe's masterpieces.
You will run around a tropical island with a lot of heavy artillery shooting bad guys and driving Jeeps through the lush jungles.
That would be true, if the movie was being filmed on a tropical island. Too bad they're filming it in Canada.
User avatar
Wolfman Walt
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member
Posts: 5243
Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2003 1:31 pm
Location: La Grange, Kentucky
Contact:

Post by Wolfman Walt »

Probably on the same "Tropical island" they filmed House of the Dead on.
User avatar
S4ur0n27
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member
Posts: 15172
Joined: Sat Jun 01, 2002 10:14 am
Contact:

Re: Ahtung! Far Cry role for sale on eBay!

Post by S4ur0n27 »

mixmastermind wrote:
Alexander wrote:Yes, this is especially directed at you, Drednut, for a mere $3300 you will get your fat, sickle-cell-anemia-ridden body starred in one of Uwe's masterpieces.
You will run around a tropical island with a lot of heavy artillery shooting bad guys and driving Jeeps through the lush jungles.
That would be true, if the movie was being filmed on a tropical island. Too bad they're filming it in Canada.
lol

Where at?
User avatar
Alexander
Strider Elite
Strider Elite
Posts: 968
Joined: Sun Aug 08, 2004 3:14 pm
Location: Hell

Post by Alexander »

Wolfman Walt wrote:
VasikkA wrote:You could apply some martial arts would you cross paths with the great director himself.
Good point, I'd just have to describe how horrible House of the Dead is to him and he'd flip a gasket and challenge me to a fight that'd appear on the movie.
Consider that he is a former pro-boxer (maybe amateur?) before challenging him to a fight. Some idiots from SA got beat by him severely recently in a "celebrity" boxing match or something, if I am not mistaken? There is a video of it somewhere...

Fortunately, House of the Dead passed me by, did someone actually pay to see it?

Susan, the shooting location is written on the auction page somewhere.
guy wrote:That would be true, if the movie was being filmed on a tropical island. Too bad they're filming it in Canada.
But the plot of the game is set on a tropical island... no? Last time I played it (only once, I didn't like it) was.

P.S.

Seeing PsychoSniper in the Far Cry movie would be tres bien, indeed...
There are no 'knowns'. There are thing we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say there are things that we now know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know. So when we do the best we can and we pull all this information together, and we then say well that's basically what we see as the situation, that is really only the known knowns and the known unknowns. And each year, we discover a few more of those unknown unknowns.
Image
User avatar
Wolfman Walt
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member
Posts: 5243
Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2003 1:31 pm
Location: La Grange, Kentucky
Contact:

Post by Wolfman Walt »

Alexander wrote:Consider that he is a former pro-boxer (maybe amateur?) before challenging him to a fight. Some idiots from SA got beat by him severely recently in a "celebrity" boxing match or something, if I am not mistaken? There is a video of it somewhere...
Seen it and ofcourse most of those that were involved had no idea what they were getting into, nor that Boll is actually a pretty big dude. Ofcourse, it was boxing so as an ex-proffesional (atleast, I keep hearing he used to box proffesionally) he had an advantage, but there was alot of criticism on how he handled it. He apperently didn't give alot of them equipment or training as he promised and initially refused to fight an amateur boxer from what I heard.

Seanbaby - a sort of celebrity in the video game world later was challenged by Boll after Sean criticised how the matches were handled. Boll, after finding out that Sean Baby was A. a pretty big guy and B. trained in Jiujitsu and Kick Boxing, backed out.

As for House of the Dead - I own it on DVD after a friend of mine ranted about how horrible it was. And truely, it was horrible. I showed it to Gaijin once and he refuses to watch movies at my house anymore.

Edit:
lol

Where at?
Vancouver apperently.

Edit 2: Also of gayety, apperently travel expenses and accommodations aren't included if you win, so it's pretty much like Uwe Boll wants you to pay him 3000+ dollars just to meet him and be a stooge on film for 3 seconds and he can't even give you a place to stay and eat?
Last edited by Wolfman Walt on Thu Jun 28, 2007 11:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.
User avatar
Cthulhugoat
Strider Elite
Strider Elite
Posts: 980
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2005 12:20 am
Location: Land of big butts

Post by Cthulhugoat »

Kanada totally screams "tropical paradise island", right Saturnt?
User avatar
Mechanurgist
Strider
Strider
Posts: 733
Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2007 6:09 am
Location: Liminal State 2
Contact:

Post by Mechanurgist »

We don't even have jeeps up here, let alone tropical vegetation.
Seanbaby - a sort of celebrity in the video game world later was challenged by Boll after Sean criticised how the matches were handled. Boll, after finding out that Sean Baby was A. a pretty big guy and B. trained in Jiujitsu and Kick Boxing, backed out.
Yeah, Uwe was a real tough guy when he could beat up some nerd journalist, but chickened out pretty quick when he heard about SeanBaby. Coward.
Death: "Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me!"
User avatar
S4ur0n27
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member
Posts: 15172
Joined: Sat Jun 01, 2002 10:14 am
Contact:

Post by S4ur0n27 »

Cthulhu wrote:Kanada totally screams "tropical paradise island", right Saturnt?
In summer, totally D:
User avatar
Alexander
Strider Elite
Strider Elite
Posts: 968
Joined: Sun Aug 08, 2004 3:14 pm
Location: Hell

Post by Alexander »

Regarding Uwe's boxing career, I searched the web and the Boxrec site and could not find any information about his boxing acheivments. He either fought as an amateur at some point or he only trained in boxing and later bloated this out of proportion sayinng that he was a pro-boxer, perhaps, to increase the PR value of the fights against his critics?

Here are some excerpts from wikipedia about the "Raging Boll" spectacle (i.e. fight against critics):
The list of five critics to step into the ring with Boll was drawn up in late August 2006, and featured Kyanka, Rue Morgue magazine writer Chris Alexander, webmaster of Cinecutre Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello, Ain't it Cool News writer Jeff Sneider and Chance Minter, amateur boxer and website critic.[16][17] Boll fought and won against all five participants.

/.../

After Kyanka lost his match, he would go on to make several allegations against Boll, including that Boll refused to fight against Chance Minter, an amateur boxer, because he was an experienced boxer; that Boll misled them by claiming it was a PR stunt, but actually intended to fight them; that Boll claimed the participants would get training before the match, which no one did, and that Boll had seriously wounded Sneider, who had also believed Boll.[20] However, Boll actually fought Minter as his third opponent.[21]

Kyanka added in a post-match interview that, "Half of us (the contenders) hadn't even seen his movies." Sneider shared similar sentiments, stating "I think he's a jerk. This might be PR but I don't want to keep getting punched in the head."[22] Boll has denied these claims in an interview, stating that he gave his opponents three months to prepare. He also denied ever saying it was a PR stunt and claims that it was going to be a real fight. [2]

/.../

Ron Sparks offered to fight Boll in Vancouver as part of the Postal publicity stunt, but Boll declined, citing Sparks's age and size advantage. Sparks himself defended Boll's decision in his MySpace blog, however, saying that because Boll was fighting several boxers back to back, and putting them in his movie, he had the right to choose any opponents willing to fight him.

/.../

Also, printed in Electronic Gaming Monthly's November 2006 edition of the section "The Rest of the Crap", written by critic Seanbaby, described Seanbaby's own involvement. Apparently Uwe was going to appear on G4's Attack of the Show! and promote this fight by sparring with one of the hosts. He claims that, "Again, he's [Uwe Boll] a matchmaking genius, because everyone on TV's 3-feet tall. If you were watching [AotS] during the time I co-hosted, you might have noticed that I could have leaned over and eaten host Kevin Pereira." A producer of the show then asked if Seanbaby would come and spar in the host's place for the event. Seanbaby says that he trains in Muay Thai and jujutsu, and that, "Boxing is to Fighting what Hungry Hungry Hippos is to fighting..." When Uwe heard of this, he wanted to know Seanbaby's age, height, weight and fighting experience since he "learned he wasn't fighting a midget". After receiving said information, Boll chose not to appear on the program.
So, if anyone has any information about his alleged boxing career, please post.
Walt wrote:I showed it to Gaijin once and he refuses to watch movies at my house anymore.
Ha ha ha ha! Brave of him to sit through the whole movie though. I could not even watch two minutes of the youtube clip you posted... did the movie really have game footage in it?
And why would someone choose to make a movie based on a shitty game like House of the Dead anyway?
This leads to more horrifying thoughts: what if he decides to make a Fallout movie?? Who will we hate more, Beth or Uwe?
Also of gayety, apperently travel expenses and accommodations aren't included if you win, so it's pretty much like Uwe Boll wants you to pay him 3000+ dollars just to meet him and be a stooge on film for 3 seconds and he can't even give you a place to stay and eat?
Some are speculating that this is a counter-measure Boll is taking for a probable casting crisis for the movie. If that is true, it is quite cheap of him not to offer food and housing for the winner... still, the auction is apparently not going as well as Uwe hoped -- not a single bidder so far.
User avatar
Wolfman Walt
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member
Posts: 5243
Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2003 1:31 pm
Location: La Grange, Kentucky
Contact:

Post by Wolfman Walt »

Alexander wrote:he only trained in boxing and later bloated this out of proportion sayinng that he was a pro-boxer, perhaps, to increase the PR value of the fights against his critics?
Most likely, I somewhat doubted he was really a proffesional, but then again you never know. Kyanka regretted getting in the ring with him though as apperently he didn't pull any punches. Speaking of which, I also think Seanbaby's claim about being so much bigger then Kevin Prerra was abit of an over statement, he was definetly larger, but he makes it sound as if he were the Incredible Hulk.
did the movie really have game footage in it?
Yes, Game footage was in the movie atleast 8 times, generally used as a cut away into another scene. It wasn't just horrible, it was also very evident that the original house of the dead, which I think is the one he used, had VERY out dated graphics by the time the movie released.
And why would someone choose to make a movie based on a shitty game like House of the Dead anyway?
To Boll's credit - it was more like "Shack of the dead" as most of the "action" took place in the wild wild tropical forests of Canada. There's only about 14 minutes actually spent in the 4 room house. I never really played the arcade game that much, but I SWEAR the house was bigger then that in the game. Also - the movie was horrible. It's like an Ed Wood movie gone terribly wrong, more-so then usual. Whats more important is that apperently "Alone in the Dark" was WORSE then "House of the Dead." I can't even comprehend how horrible that is, but I know I gotta see it sometime.
This leads to more horrifying thoughts: what if he decides to make a Fallout movie?? Who will we hate more, Beth or Uwe?
This was actually a rumor for awhile, but I think the rumor was just "WHAT IF UWE BOLL GETS ______." Metal Gear Solid fans were crying for afew months I think.
still, the auction is apparently not going as well as Uwe hoped -- not a single bidder so far.
Apperently afew websites are planning on sniping it as well. Though I don't know if their goal is as noble as my "Choke the shit out of the tall German until he breathes no more."
User avatar
S4ur0n27
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member
Posts: 15172
Joined: Sat Jun 01, 2002 10:14 am
Contact:

Post by S4ur0n27 »

I still say we should send :psychosniper:, it would be awesome.
User avatar
mixmastermind
Vault Dweller
Vault Dweller
Posts: 113
Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2006 2:08 am

Post by mixmastermind »

Wolfman Walt wrote: Edit 2: Also of gayety, apperently travel expenses and accommodations aren't included if you win, so it's pretty much like Uwe Boll wants you to pay him 3000+ dollars just to meet him and be a stooge on film for 3 seconds and he can't even give you a place to stay and eat?
I'd pay the money and then just not show up.
Dreadnought
Devil times three go climb a tree
Devil times three go climb a tree
Posts: 3995
Joined: Wed May 09, 2007 9:32 pm
Contact:

Re: Ahtung! Far Cry role for sale on eBay!

Post by Dreadnought »

Alexander wrote:fat, sickle-cell-anemia-ridden body
I will buy that role and I know you saw it cummin'.
���������
Post Reply