The Army Diary

[Mechanurgist]

200" tall, 61 pounds, biceps the size of a crab and continuous itch in my groin And no, it's not genetic engineering, it's squirrels all the way.

Fixed.

[Kashluk]

Date: July 27th 2007

Progress: 5 % (343/362 days left)

Rank: Recruit

Situated at: 1st Separate Truck Company, Kuopio Battalion, Kainuu Brigade

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So far my week's been full of crawling through the woods in combat gear and
practicing at the firing range. We were introduced to the so called "sport
of the kings", RK7-shooting, where you need both accuracy and speed at the
range of 150 meters. The whole thing goes like this:

1) You have three magazines with two rounds each. The targets appear and you
have five seconds to fire a shot. Then you repeat it + change a mag. You do
this three times, until you've finished firing all your ammo.

2) Again you have three mags with two rnds each. The targets appear again,
but this time they stay in view only three seconds at a time, so you have to
fire faster.

3) Basic drill, 3 mags, 2 rnds each. This time the targets appear for five
seconds at a time, BUT you have to fire two rounds in a row. So each time
the targets disappear you have to change a magazine. And boy, oh boy, it's
damn difficult to shoot again, since you pretty much lose the sights once
you pull the trigger. I need a lot of practice in this part.

So yeah, I managed to score 14 / 18, meaning that I hit 6 or better 14 times
out of 18 shots. Later on we'll also start counting the scores. The unit's
commander promised a week's vacation for anyone who scores more than 160 pts
in the national competition. That means if you miss the whole target twice
you'll have to hit bullseye with the rest of the shots. Yippi-kay-yee.

My body's pretty much full of bruises, because we've been jumping around and
crawling in pretty difficult terrain. Even when we're walking around and
chilling and shit, the most dick-headed corporals tend to shout "Whistles!"
every once in a while. It's supposed to represent / symbolize the sound of
a incoming grenade. So they pretty much shout "Incoming!" and then we jump
to take cover between rocks or shit. And you can imagine what happens when
you're carrying a lot of gear, the terrain's a bit tricky and you tend to
fall around a lot.

We also had our first march, which was a real piece of cake. Normal combat
gear only (not all imaginable stuff you need to carry when you're spending
a week in the nature, just the stuff you need in a short firefight) and a
little extra weight for some guys. The march was only about 6 kilometers long,
I think? Still our fat sergeant kept asking us: "Who's tired? Who's tired?
Come on, honestly, you can admit if you're tired!" As soon as someone raised
his fist, the sarge told us to stop. The fat bastard was just so damn tired
himself We had, like, three pauses and lunch during that march. Nothing
compared to the stuff Vasikka told me. But, I guess we're supposed to just
practice at first and have longer marches later on.

Things are going pretty smoothly. The newly graduated officer candidates
just raised the bar a bit and we have to be "edgier" from now on. The beds
are never made properly in their opinion, neither do we move fast enough or
have clean enough clothes yada yada. It's silly and has nothing to do with
war or defending your homeland, but I guess it's part of the drill, so who am
I to complain?

Anyho', I'm really trying to get in to the reserve officer school (to become
one of the earlier mentioned officer candidates after six months), because
the only education branch so far that could be of any use to me later on is
leadership and training. I can't say anything for sure yet, since we'll find
out about where we're headed later on after week 8 has passed. No new entries
in a while either - I'm tied up for the next two weeks. After that I'm no
longer a recruit, but a military driver or something. A private nevertheless.
Stay tuned for more updates on Euro army

[PiP]

The beds
are never made properly in their opinion,

this always seems like a major part of being a good soldier doesn't it

neither do we move fast enough or
have clean enough clothes yada yada. It's silly and has nothing to do with
war or defending your homeland,

it's just supposed to make you stop thinking. Execute orders without thinking. Usefull in a way when real bullets start to whizz around. Not to mention it makes those fuckers feel real badass

[Redeye]

No combat-ready unit ever passed inspection.

[Kashluk]

Yeah, PiP, I know why things are like they are. It's still stupid and pointless. Bedsheets have never won a war.

Good link, Redeye, thanks for that.

[Thor Kaufman]

It's always good to throw one's life away, esp. to become cannon fodder for superior people. You have made the right choice, soldier.

[VasikkA]

The march was only about 6 kilometers long, I think?

It's supposed to be incremental; that is, add 5 kilometres more every week up until the end of basic training. It's funny how all the physical stuff gets easier with time. First, I thought marching a few kilometres under the scorching sun was killing me. Fuck, even the rifle felt heavy around my neck. Later on, I marched much longer distances in heavy gear carrying mortar parts and grenades and shit with ease. If I was lucky, I had an AT-mine dangling somewhere as well.

Quickly, it becomes routine. Just like with anything else you do, switch off your brains and focus on the next thing you're supposed to do. Sometimes it's just trying to walk on the path and not fall asleep and bump a tree or something. During camps, you'll love those power naps between activities. Oh, and never worry about the weather, it's gonna be shitty anyway.

[Kashluk]

Gotta agree on the last part. The weather up here is complete shit. Within an hour it's windy, raining like hell and then the sun burns the shit out of me. And we've been standing outside for that time.

[Redeye]

Gotta agree on the last part. The weather up here is complete shit. Within an hour it's windy, raining like hell and then the sun burns the shit out of me. And we've been standing outside for that time.

Doesn't the word "Finland" mean "swamp land", or something like that?

[TNP]

I'm probably gonna join the Army, once we get out of Iraq. The training is invaluable and it would be at ZOG's expense.

[Khan Noonien Singh]

I'm probably gonna join the Army, once we get out of Iraq. The training is invaluable and it would be at ZOG's expense.

Your world is clearly on a different timeline from my reality, but from my understanding you may be of retirement age when the US withdraws from Iraq.

[Amis]

I'm probably gonna join the Army, once we get out of Iraq. The training is invaluable and it would be at ZOG's expense.

There's always a new war for the us to fight. Join now and get overwith it!

[PsychoSniper5]

And to all you gun nuts around there, we're using RK62s, which is basically a polished version of the famous AK47

So its even MORE simple than the AK ?

How many Poloks does it take to fire an AK ......... none, they had to make their own version.

[Amis]

the rk65 is suppose to be the best ak modification in the world.

[PsychoSniper5]

the rk65 is suppose to be the best ak modification in the world.

Well it would HAVE to be with poloks using it.

[fallout ranger]

For my money I'd take the Finnish Valmet or Israeli Galil.

[Kashluk]

Date: August 12th 2007

Progress: 10 % (327/362 days left)

Rank: Private

Situated at: 1st Separate Truck Company, Kuopio Battalion, Kainuu Brigade

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We had our soldiers' oath and officially became "military drivers" for the
benefit of the glorious nation of Kaza--, err, Finland. The oath was pretty
much a big parade where we marched and received our promotions from the brigade
general. First photos in this diary are from this occasion:

I'm the guy in the middle.


We're the only company in the brigade with it's own flag. We're (supposed to be)
proud of our blue colours.


Here's some for the zealous patriots over there, my sister took this photo. She
thought it was artistic or some shit.


We also received compliments, as a unit, that we were very good following orders,
marched really well and otherwise managed to complete tasks given to us with
good speed and results. Pretty much the only thing we haven't outsmarted our
predecessors in is marksmanship. They were the best, won the trophy and shit, and
we're still around the average. I myself and a few others have done really well,
but as a unit we haven't reached our goal yet.

Next week we have a combat firing camp, lasts three days and includes a transpition
of 85 km with bicycles. We run around in the woods with live ammunition with our
"battle buddies" or companion-in-arms, whatever you want to call it, and fire at
targets that jump up around us. We need to both advance towards a firing enemy and
defend a position in a fixhole. Everyone says it's a swell camp, but it involves
A LOT of waiting, since only two people can run through the course at a time. And
there's over 60 of us.

Then we go to the firing range again, on Friday or so, and practice a little more.
I bet my rifle's barrel will look like a sewer drain after next week. It'll be a
real pain in the ass to clean it up again.

Things have progressed smoothly around the garrison and in the barracks, since I'm
finally becoming "institutionalized" enough to not to get pissed about the stuff
that's so completely ridicilous if you really think about it. Switching off the
"civilian brain" works now and while I'm wearing the uniform I'm actually enjoying
myself. Life's good and shit. Feel free to bomb me with questions if you want to know
something more.

[Thor Kaufman]

So, when are you going to a warzone and do your duty, i.e. getting killed?

[Nicolai]

Have you killed any gooks yet?

[DaC-Sniper]

In germany there is the US army, our occupying force and some of the soldiers like to pay for Doener / Kebap with their oily dollars, right before they get send to kill ze evil moslems. Now, thats what i call multicultural society. The patriots prefer Mc Donald`s or Burger King.