Subhuman's advice corner (featuring Tingel Tangel on drums)

Nameless_One · Post by **Nameless_One** » Thu Nov 01, 2007 5:40 pm

. ( fullstop )

PiP · Post by **PiP** » Thu Nov 01, 2007 7:29 pm

Megatron wrote:i have just realized that smell in my room is cat piss. but i have no cat. mystery eh

when your feet sweat too much in leather shoes and you keep using them, that's the smell that you get

and

for Toxic. Che storia!

St. Toxic · Post by **St. Toxic** » Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:09 pm

So yeah, internet chick and canadian swell guy; help me out here, whydontcha'?

I have a problem. I can't seem to let go of my dead wife. In a way, our relationship never got the closure that it deserved, and so it never really ended. It was all over so fast, the event went by rather like it never happened. I can honestly say that some days I wake up, thinking "Why is she up? Where has she gone?" before I remember that she's gone for good.

I've tried going out and seeing other people, but it all seems so casual and pointless, so that I always go back to being alone with my memories. I can only assume that it's a question of time, rather than strategy, to carry on living a normal life, but I'm also getting more and more concerned that by behaving like I do, I'm building up a fort around my heart, and that, when the time comes, the walls will be far to thick to tear down and I'll miss my shot.

What helpful advice would you give to one such as I?

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:13 pm

Ok. My only real problem I can't deal with in real life. Whenever someone does something wrong* to me, I hunt him or her down till he or she regrets being born.
Sometimes it costs me lots of time and money and nerves.

Should I learn to forgive people?
Is cold vendetta the right way?
Should I pray to Jesus?
Speaking of Jesus... where is Jesus?!

*doesn't mean it's factually WRONG towards me, but I won't elaborate on this

cazsim83 · Post by **cazsim83** » Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:22 pm

Nameless_One wrote:Some nice huggy stuff

*cough cough* joke *cough cough*

If I didn't rail (heh heh) you, I wouldn't love you. Oh wait, then that would apply to Dreaddy and Gorebaby....nevermind. I hate you too, then.

Insults are the DaC tradition - we're like an effed up version of The Osbornes. *ozzy, not donny and marie*

PiP · Post by **PiP** » Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:15 pm

cazsim83 wrote:we

dream on

entertainer · Post by **entertainer** » Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:18 pm

Dreadnought wrote:Speaking of Jesus... where is Jesus?!

cazsim83 · Post by **cazsim83** » Sat Nov 03, 2007 2:00 am

entertainer wrote:
Dreadnought wrote:Speaking of Jesus... where is Jesus?!

It's apparent you have no idea what's going on, so stop. Just stop.

Subhuman · Post by **Subhuman** » Sat Nov 03, 2007 5:53 am

St. Toxic wrote:So yeah, internet chick and canadian swell guy; help me out here, whydontcha'?

Sorry, I wasn't sure if your question was serious or not. I recommend therapy, and time. It doesn't sound like you're suffering from anything other than the trauma of losing your spouse, and that kind of pain only abates after a long while. Go to a therapist to help the healing along, but don't focus too much on what you're doing to yourself. Keep seeing other people - eventually you will stumble upon one that opens you up and makes you remember what it's like to love someone, and, of course, to remind you that life goes on.

Also, it can be immensely therapeutic to write a letter to the person you've lost in order to gain some of that closure you weren't given. Write what you wanted to tell her before she died and stick the letter someplace safe. If nothing else it may take a weight off your shoulders.

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Sat Nov 03, 2007 5:56 am

Or maybe I should rape the rotting corpse in front of him.

Nameless_One · Post by **Nameless_One** » Sat Nov 03, 2007 9:23 am

cazsim83 wrote:
Nameless_One wrote:Some nice huggy stuff
Can you give us the link of the page which I wrote that please?

You can feel anything about me (normally) and absolutely free about writing this feelings (again...normally) but you must also aware of that you get what you deserve (no offense for now)

Anyway,Cazsim I must also say to you that this is geting boring for each post in a surprisingly short period. over.

PiP · Post by **PiP** » Sat Nov 03, 2007 12:57 pm

I propose that catshit and nameless b moved to another forum.

jetbaby · Post by **jetbaby** » Sat Nov 03, 2007 2:52 pm

VasikkA wrote:The prospect of getting cyber-pussy apparently is enough for jetbaby to lay down arms.

Incorrect. I have simply eaten. Done being grumpybaby.

Tingel Tangel · Post by **Tingel Tangel** » Sat Nov 03, 2007 3:19 pm

Tangent:
Sliced root beats and potatoes, in an oiled up tray, seasoned with rough salt, pepper, paprika and garlic rub - popped in the oven. When almost done baking, add (thickly) sliced Jerusalem artichoke and eggplant and let it all finish baking together. Effing gorgeous (no, really, it looks sooo pretty ^^).

Also, you're not going to like this most of you, but I'll post it anyway: cubes of tofu having been marinated in red wine and fried at low heat in a pot with lots of pepper until they're slightly crispy (also, they're purple) - goes great with the above recipe, really healthy and you get to drink the rest of the bottle of wine, yay!

*goes back to lurking*

St. Toxic · Post by **St. Toxic** » Sat Nov 03, 2007 3:31 pm

Subhuman wrote:I recommend therapy

Actually, my boss set me up with a therapist shortly after my wife died, and, at the risk of sounding clichÃ©d, it's just not my gig. I guess if you go along with it for an enormous amount of time, you might get some results, but I'm a go for the throat kind of guy, and the approach most therapists use, that is, running circles around the issue, just bugs the hell out of me. If I want to talk about pointless crap, there's a number of listeners/readers to go around, free of charge.

Subhuman wrote:It doesn't sound like you're suffering from anything other than the trauma of losing your spouse

I wouldn't say I'm suffering really; it's gone beyond that, to the realm of general apathy. Just worried about becoming a recluse. It's like I'm in pause-mode, waiting for my wife to come back and for everything to return to normal. Can't seem to shake it.

Subhuman wrote:don't focus too much on what you're doing to yourself.

Sound advice, I guess. Maybe it's all just a twisted perception of my own behavour, and me buying into it.

Subhuman wrote:Also, it can be immensely therapeutic to write a letter to the person you've lost in order to gain some of that closure you weren't given. Write what you wanted to tell her before she died and stick the letter someplace safe. If nothing else it may take a weight off your shoulders.

I'll have to ask her where she hid my felt hat. She hated me for wearing that thing, and now that the coast is clear I can't find it. Hope she didn't throw it out.

Thanks for the advice, Guido.

Subhuman · Post by **Subhuman** » Sat Nov 03, 2007 4:09 pm

I would still recommend a psychiatrist (different from a therapist or psychologist, more hardcore) if you're really concerned about your cutting off the outside world and becoming detached socially. Psychiatrists tend to cut to the quick faster than therapists, and the kind of thing you're describing is pretty common even for people who haven't suffered a gigantic loss - it's also one of the symptoms of clinical depression. It does take time to see results, but you seem to be in a pretty solid mental state at the moment so it might come easier than you think.

St. Toxic · Post by **St. Toxic** » Sat Nov 03, 2007 4:53 pm

Guess I'll do that then. Thanks.

Thor Kaufman · Post by **Thor Kaufman** » Sat Nov 03, 2007 5:03 pm

yeah, go to a psychiatrist, they are the ones who prescribe all the drugs, the harmful and real harmful ones

Subhuman · Post by **Subhuman** » Sun Nov 04, 2007 4:59 am

Off-topic, but I made up a stupidly easily chicken recipe for dinner tonight. Preheat your oven to 425 F. Mix up some double strength chicken stock (about a cup or so), put it in a bowl with some lemon zest, a tiny splash of lemon juice, a fair amount of black pepper, some sea salt, olive oil, and a handful of fresh chopped dill. Pour a bit of it into a greased baking dish, add four (or whatever number you're serving) boneless chicken breasts, and pour the rest of the sauce over top. Mix everything a bit, put it in the oven and bake for 30-35 minutes, turning the breasts halfway, until the chicken's juices run clear and there's no pink inside. Serve it with some of the pan juices poured over the chicken as a sauce.

I call it Subhuman's Braised Lemon and Dill Chicken Breasts For When You Don't Feel Like Cooking Anything Fancy And So Help You God If That Hobgoblin Giada de Laurentiis Comes On The Tube That Night and Lectures You About How Easy It Should Be To Make Stuffed Pasta Shells After a Long, Hellish Day At Work.

I like it with another one of Nigella Lawson's recipes, her double potato and halloumi cheese bake. Cook it for slightly less than the time specified, but in the same oven. Convenience!

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Sun Nov 04, 2007 5:13 am

Tingel Tangel wrote:root beats

DJ Tingel Tangel on the turntables?