Pooperscoopers Famous Movie Reviews: Beowulf

POOPERSCOOPER · Post by **POOPERSCOOPER** » Sat Nov 17, 2007 5:11 am

I went to see the 3-d one and it was okay. I actually had to read beowulf and grendel for my mythology class last semester which I only got about half way through grendel and didn't bother with beowulf because of the poetic writing. The story seems quite different from what I remember my teacher talking about, but I guess it has the same type of theme. It has some good action even though it was totally unrealistic(CGI GOSH), the effects were quite good.

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Sat Nov 17, 2007 5:19 am

How many homo-superior aryan viking warriors would you rate it?

Strider · Post by **Strider** » Sat Nov 17, 2007 7:44 am

3.5 Attila the Hons out of 5.

Cthulhugoat · Post by **Cthulhugoat** » Sat Nov 17, 2007 2:52 pm

N00b, true aryan warriors wouldn't bow before chinks. More like 3 Thors out of 6. Good thing I bought the book before this movie arrives here. I wouldn't be able to stand 3D Beowulf staring at me in the cover.

Poops, has it got any blood?

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Sat Nov 17, 2007 3:55 pm

I give it 0 out of 10 Odins, because it's a movie.

POOPERSCOOPER · Post by **POOPERSCOOPER** » Sat Nov 17, 2007 7:17 pm

Cthulhu wrote:N00b, true aryan warriors wouldn't bow before chinks. More like 3 Thors out of 6. Good thing I bought the book before this movie arrives here. I wouldn't be able to stand 3D Beowulf staring at me in the cover.

Poops, has it got any blood?

Yes, surprisingly its quite graphic for just a pg-13 movie.

Aonaran · Post by **Aonaran** » Sat Nov 17, 2007 8:25 pm

I want to know what colossal philistine decided Grendel's Mother should be a MILF.

johnnygothisgun · Post by **johnnygothisgun** » Sun Nov 18, 2007 2:05 am

it looks pretty shit

Strider · Post by **Strider** » Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:06 am

I guess nobody got the joke, oh well.

Blargh · Post by **Blargh** » Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:12 am

Italicised O's are formed from hilariousity on this side of the churning pond, Frank.

Franz Schubert · Post by **Franz Schubert** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 7:31 am

Apparently, Dreamworks originally planned to release a PG-13 cut and an R-rated cut of Beowulf in theaters simultaneously. Instead, they're going to release the R-rated cut on DVD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2s5O-c4U0k
Here's the red band (R-Rated) trailer for Beowulf. I haven't seen the movie yet, looks good though. My friend says a lot of the good stuff in the red band trailer was cut from the PG-13 version.

Cthulhugoat · Post by **Cthulhugoat** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 7:26 pm

It's funny, but I can't associate Ray Winstone with Beowulf. Rather, I get this:

cazsim83 · Post by **cazsim83** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 8:21 pm

Cthulhu wrote:It's funny, but I can't associate Ray Winstone with Beowulf. Rather, I get this:

Probably the reason they used a CGI anyway - not as hard to get in shape, eh?

Cthulhugoat · Post by **Cthulhugoat** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 8:24 pm

Eheh.

fallout ranger · Post by **fallout ranger** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 9:16 pm

Beowulf=teh ghey

It has nearly nothing to do with the original Beouwulf Saga, and is an abomination that should be stricken from the record. Dragons for fuck sake...

Go get Beowulf & Grendel with Gerard Butler instead, I did, it's awesome.

cazsim83 · Post by **cazsim83** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 11:08 pm

I can't pass judgement on the film itself, since I haven't seen it, and probably wont' until the video comes out, but I don't really like the whole movie in CGI - I would much rather prefer like LotR - some characters/effects in CGI, but mostly "real".
I'll probably have a looksee on video anyway though.

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:43 am

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:43 am

Double post ftw!

<marquee>:aiee:

</marquee>

Mad Max RW · Post by **Mad Max RW** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:24 pm

I saw the 3D version and thought it was good. The first half felt more like the original story than the second. Grendel attacking the Mead hall scenes were fucked up for a PG13 flick.

The CGI is the best I've ever seen, but it still bugs me. Faces are missing something. Spit, sweat, muscles, lips don't move enough, I don't know. It doesn't look right. In 5 years they'll probably do away with live action because it's already so close to being photorealistic.

The 3D stuff was decent. I never saw a 3D movie that wasn't shit, so I was pleasantly surprised. They give you these thick rim Jeff Goldblum style glasses. Not those cheesy paper dealies with the blue and red plastic lenses. Effects aren't overdone too much, but there's many parts where it was obviously made for 3D. If you've never seen this type of thing before imagine the movie screen as something like a window. There's a sense of perspective like you can move from side to side and you'll see more of the background. You have to focus on things in the foreground or it goes into a double image. It's impressive for the first 20 minutes then you get used to it.

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:42 pm

Today I saw a rock.