Subhuman's advice corner (featuring Tingel Tangel on drums)
- Thor Kaufman
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Thor's Thoughts of Truth (new thread)Thor Kaufman wrote:Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man how to fish and he sits in a boat all day drinking beer.
fish smells like unwashed smegma vagina when it's cooking, not that I know of course.
But if you must cook it, use spices and tasy things like lemon juice and beer or wine.
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Cripes, people, give me a night to sleep.
Short answer: depends on the kind of fish, and whether it's farmed or wild. Wild salmon, for example, is best dealt with grilled or fried for a mere few minutes, then spritzed with fresh lemon juice, nothing else. There's already lots of flavor in the fish itself. But farmed salmon can be just dandy as well, and that's usually what you get at the supermarket. It's also good grilled/barbecued with some lemon.
Figure out what fish your potential rape victim prefers and then report back. For any kind of fish, though, I've got two suggestions: teriyaki sauce and lemon salsa. Here's a stupidly easy teriyaki sauce that goes great with salmon and (I've heard) mackerel.
(For one fish steak or filet, so double for two):
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons sake
1 tablespoon mirin (Japanese cooking wine, it's in the Asian food aisle)
1 teaspoon sugar
Mix together in a small saucepan and bring to a boil to dissolve the sugar. Put it to the side. Heat up a non-stick (or lightly oiled) pan and fry the fish on one side for about two minutes, then flip it over and add the teriyaki sauce. Baste the fish with the sauce if you have a turkey baster, otherwise just spoon up some of the sauce and drizzle it over the fish every now and again. Turn the fish over once more, then remove it to a plate using a slotted spatula (not tongs, the fish will crumble). Let the remaining sauce bubble up and thicken a bit in the pan until it's dark and syrupy (but not too sticky and dry), then pour it over top of the fish. Serve with rice and some kind of green veggies, if you can be assed.
The lemon salsa is from a recipe book that recommends it with sardines, but I can tell you it goes with just about any fish, and even chicken. Cook the fish as you would normally, on a barbecue or in a pan for a few minutes per side, then serve the salsa alongside.
2 lemons
1 large or 2 small red onions
small bunch of fresh parsley
small bunch of mint or coriander
125 ml extra virgin olive oil
juice of half a lemon
sea salt and black pepper
Peel the two lemons, then chop them rougly and put them in a bowl. Then chop the red onion, parsley and mint/coriander by hand or in a food processor (by hand is more fun), but don't chop the herbs so finely they turn into mush. Add this mix to the chopped lemons and stir in the olive oil and lemon juice, then add the salt and pepper. Add a pinch of dried red pepper flakes if you'd like. Let the salsa sit and infuse (macerate) while you cook the fish.
Megatron's suggestion is a good one as well. It's pretty hard to screw up fish, they're the easiest things to cook.
Short answer: depends on the kind of fish, and whether it's farmed or wild. Wild salmon, for example, is best dealt with grilled or fried for a mere few minutes, then spritzed with fresh lemon juice, nothing else. There's already lots of flavor in the fish itself. But farmed salmon can be just dandy as well, and that's usually what you get at the supermarket. It's also good grilled/barbecued with some lemon.
Figure out what fish your potential rape victim prefers and then report back. For any kind of fish, though, I've got two suggestions: teriyaki sauce and lemon salsa. Here's a stupidly easy teriyaki sauce that goes great with salmon and (I've heard) mackerel.
(For one fish steak or filet, so double for two):
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons sake
1 tablespoon mirin (Japanese cooking wine, it's in the Asian food aisle)
1 teaspoon sugar
Mix together in a small saucepan and bring to a boil to dissolve the sugar. Put it to the side. Heat up a non-stick (or lightly oiled) pan and fry the fish on one side for about two minutes, then flip it over and add the teriyaki sauce. Baste the fish with the sauce if you have a turkey baster, otherwise just spoon up some of the sauce and drizzle it over the fish every now and again. Turn the fish over once more, then remove it to a plate using a slotted spatula (not tongs, the fish will crumble). Let the remaining sauce bubble up and thicken a bit in the pan until it's dark and syrupy (but not too sticky and dry), then pour it over top of the fish. Serve with rice and some kind of green veggies, if you can be assed.
The lemon salsa is from a recipe book that recommends it with sardines, but I can tell you it goes with just about any fish, and even chicken. Cook the fish as you would normally, on a barbecue or in a pan for a few minutes per side, then serve the salsa alongside.
2 lemons
1 large or 2 small red onions
small bunch of fresh parsley
small bunch of mint or coriander
125 ml extra virgin olive oil
juice of half a lemon
sea salt and black pepper
Peel the two lemons, then chop them rougly and put them in a bowl. Then chop the red onion, parsley and mint/coriander by hand or in a food processor (by hand is more fun), but don't chop the herbs so finely they turn into mush. Add this mix to the chopped lemons and stir in the olive oil and lemon juice, then add the salt and pepper. Add a pinch of dried red pepper flakes if you'd like. Let the salsa sit and infuse (macerate) while you cook the fish.
Megatron's suggestion is a good one as well. It's pretty hard to screw up fish, they're the easiest things to cook.
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Sounds good. I like the idea of making something with teriyaki sauce, she might bring along some Asian friends. She only hangs out with Asians these days, don't ask me why. So yeah, might not be the "romantic" night I was thinking about..
I won't have any problem filling up the rest of the plate, though. I'm planning on making steamed broccoli with cheese, and home-made potato chips. It'll look like some kind of fish & chips thing. Nothing too fancy, I'm not that kind of guy.
I won't have any problem filling up the rest of the plate, though. I'm planning on making steamed broccoli with cheese, and home-made potato chips. It'll look like some kind of fish & chips thing. Nothing too fancy, I'm not that kind of guy.