Pooperscoopers Official IRONMAN review

[POOPERSCOOPER]

Okay, so we get to the theater planning to go to the 4:40 at like 4:05 but my dad is always like "lets see if we can get into the 4:10" which I kind of hate because he always rushes stuff and is like "there is atleast 15 minutes of previews" but I go along with it anyways. We do the standard procedure, I got get the tickets and he gets the usual large popcorn with two brown boxes, napkins, large soda with two straws. We get two boxes so that we put one box into the other one to keep the flaps open and shit then he puts popcorn in there and its easy to share. I grabbed seats right under the giant super fan of A/C because thats all the seats that were left and we were freezing the whole time and asked me why I didn't get better seats.

The movie had some pretty great previews with Indy 4, dark night and stuff. The movie starts and it's pretty good okay.

Robert Downey is good like usual and his normal dead pan humor is pretty good and gwyneth paltrow looks pretty hawt and younger since I thought she was going down hill for awhile but I would do her in the butt if I had to. The movie has a pretty big buildup to "the making of ironman" which is to be expected in a first of the series but it was longer than you would expect. I also liked how Downey knew when to shut up occasionally when a moment needed to be serious unlike most anti heros who always try to get the last saying in, I thought that was a pretty good fresh change. Overall, its a good super hero movie and probably one of the better ones released in the last couple years. It gets pooperscoopers stamp of approval.

[Nooke]

Next time write a decent review, k?

[rabidpeanut]

I bow to your review of the movie I watched 2 days before you.

[VasikkA]

Would you recommend it to an avid superhero movie hater?

[Nooke]

Also, are there any Fallout references because of the Powa Armahz?

[Superhaze]

The world revolves around fallout Nookz..

[Dogmeatlives]

Would you recommend it to an avid superhero movie hater?

No, Marvel still doesn't get it. And that's why it's time for DOGMEATLIVE'S OFFICIAL REVIEW of Iron Man.

Ok so after fucking the old ball and chain, we went to see this movie. Yes, it's another fucking superhero movie. Apparently the jews over at Marvel still haven't gotten sick of fucking us out of our money. Firstly, the previews-

The Dark Knight trailer was amazing and enduced salivation.
The Hulk looks like absolute shit. The hulk's design is crap.
M. Night Shamalayan's new movie looked pretty creepy, like a good Twilight Zone episode, but I doubt if it'll be any good.

Ok, so now the movie. When I call Iron Man another fucking superhero movie, I mean it. I'll put it in a class with almost all the other Marvel movies besides the first Spiderman. The witty, sarcastic banter got old pretty fast. The special effects were crap. This movie will not age well. The story was not engrossing at all. I knew who the bad guy would be from the beginning. I don't know if this will convey what I mean but, I felt like the movie was jerking itself off. There were two or three blatant Audi commercials in the movie. A Burger King shoutout, and other shit. There was a reference to War Machine and it was corny to say the least.

I wouldn't say that it was good at all. It was mediocre. If you like your superhero movies to be cookie cutter then go for it. Me, I'll wait for Dark Knight.

The problem with Marvel is that they are afraid to step outside the box. The movies seem stale to me. The storylines seem to be afterthoughts behind the "cool special effects" that won't look so hot in another year or two.

Oh and stay until after the credits if you're interested in another shameless plug for another, surely mediocre film.

In closing, Pooper was too gentle on this film. If you have a hardon for Iron Man then go ahead and you will probably enjoy it, but for me I would much rather have seen something daring and innovative. Iron Man is a sure franchise with obvious elements that will make it a big hit, but after so many great movies last winter and fall, this one just doesn't keep up for me.

I give it 2 Phil's doorsteps out of 5.

[Thor Kaufman]

Great review, Dogmeatlives, thanks. This will surely save the lives of millions vietnames people.

[VasikkA]

Danke

[Subhuman]

Please, the first Spiderman sucked as much as the other two.

[Dogmeatlives]

Alright, well all Marvel movies suck then. My point is that if your a nerdboy who gets off on every sucky crumb that Mr. Stanley Lieber throws out to the world, then you'll probably love this movie.

If you have some movie taste then its probably not worth the interest.

[Nicolai]

superheroes

they should do a live action cerebus movie

[Caleb]

the old iron man cartoons were decent

[rabidpeanut]

I watched the old cartoons recently and.... weeeell time has not been too kind to them i am afraid.

THe movie is really not that bad, it is just a little Stretched, like in too much talking and not enough really cool cg action. Spiderman 1 was great, 2 and 3 were SHIT. total SHIT.

I did not even get to see even 1 good preview when i saw ironman. FUCKING BULLSHIT.

That new M.whatshisindianname movie does however look incredibly cool, post apoc ftw. Killer virus (They will doubtlessly get all the biological facts completely wrong but these are hollywooders so i forgive their silicone asses.)

[Stainless]

Not a big fan of Marvel movies, but i did like The Punisher. He just needed to be more homicidal.

[MadBill]

I didn't really catch much of the Shamalamadingdong preview because my eyes were spinning in their sockets like gyroscopes. More of the same shit in the same shitty package. However, he worked the people standing around uselessly into the actual plot this time - bravo.

[cazsim83]

Seems that whether or not you think Marvel makes garbage adaptations - they get the last laugh regardless...

[VasikkA]

Marvel is the new Bethesda

[Frater Perdurabo]

More like, Bethesda is the new Marvel.

[Superhaze]

I was sooo thinking of posting exactly that, but then I realized it was stupid and predictable.