You Got Fired on Your Day Off???

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Tue May 05, 2009 2:43 am

Very clever, Frater. I underestimated your powers.

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Tue May 05, 2009 2:43 am

Frater Perdurabo wrote:
Wolfman Walt wrote:
Wolfman Walt wrote:While not on the first day, it occurred during training afew years back from my training area, so it must have been the first few days, maybe two weeks at most. Some brilliant corrections officers decided to go to Louisville after work and used the state provided transportation van as they were from the Kentucky State Penitentiar. So what retudable place did our 4 individuals decide to go for their off time? Why ofcourse! The full-nude strip club!

Someone saw the van and contacted the Governor's hotline at 3 AM asking why his tax money was being spent to send government officials to strip clubs (My question would by why AREN'T they?), they wake the governor up who in turn wakes up all the relevant state officials and eventually the commissionar incharge of the State department of corrections says "I don't care who they are, fire all of them." The real kicker? There were two people from that group who elected not to go to the strip club and stayed the entire time in the dormatory. I bet they were fucking pissed off cause they just lost their job for doing nothing other than being associated with morons.

Blargh · Post by **Blargh** » Tue May 05, 2009 4:59 am

Danny wrote:funds

Departed tissues of this sort offer no succor to the sick little children.

'Twas recreational.

popscythe · Post by **popscythe** » Tue May 05, 2009 6:58 pm

I'm actually the one who caused the shitfest in my little story.

I'm working tech support for symantec's "outsourcing company of the week" years back, before they moved all their support to bangalore.

Our site director goes on vacation for a few weeks directly after announcing to us all that we're being shitcanned, so people are fucking up right and left. My buddy a few desks over is still striving to make the grade however, so I change my outlook's displayed email to display as the site director's, and send my buddy an email that says he's won 10 of these stupid reward coupons that they give out for "exceptional service" and to come down to the office to get them. I forward a copy to my supervisor and everyone else, many laughs were had. I actually had all three supervisors from my floor come up and have a nice little chucklefest regarding it, "Oh ho ho ho you made him wander around for an HOUR looking for his mystery coupons after the office sent him away. Oh ho ho so funny."

So I get several replies, including one from my buddy downstairs that mentions that I'm a complete cockhammer and I'm going to get my sexy ass fired, I'll be lucky if I'm not raped, etc.

So a month or two later after that pussy bastard site director gets back from hiding on vacation to avoid anyone smashing up his car or something for firing us all in another month or so, I've got the day off to run up to the nearest international airport and I get a call from my buddy downstairs regarding us being shitcanned. He and I. So I call the office and nobody will talk to me about it. Nobody tells me I've been fired, they tell me that they don't know what I'm talking about. I ask, "Should I come to work tomorrow?" They say "I don't know." They being my supervisor and another supervisor from the "chucklehouse congrats on that prank" three.

So I come into work the next day, scan my badge at the door, walk upstairs and am immediately leaped upon by a crowd of people who are all assuming I'm there with an ak or something to wreak revenge. I explain that though I had heard from someone who was fired that I was fired nobody important told me that I was fired and my badge worked on the door, and could someone please explain it to me?

They kick me out and tell me that if I want to talk to someone I'm going to have to to talk to someone somewhere else. I'm also told that I broke into the office because the janitor fucking piece of shit who works there lied to them and told them that he had in fact deactivated my card when he hadn't, and that I'd somehow circumvented site security, supposedly by making someone else hold the door open for me.

Two weeks later I'm actually able to get the things from my desk after they've been smashed into a little box and moved across town to another office. I was never actually told by anyone that I was fired, simply that I wasn't allowed to be there and that nobody knew why.

I found out about a year later from some homies that worked there until the place got shut down that I got canned because the reply emails to my prank including the rape, cockhammer, etc email my fired buddy sent went to the site director's email due to outlook being proseph extremo. They also had a mandatory training program about disgruntled employees and security procedures because of the master spy job I pulled in using my card at the door.

All in all it was pretty good stuff. I later worked with that same janitor fucker again at another job and found out that his stupid ass didn't ever do his job for shit because he was completely high off his rocker constantly, selling ounces at work.

MR Snake · Post by **MR Snake** » Tue May 05, 2009 7:07 pm

That is one of the best stories I ever heard. Cool shit.

Kashluk · Post by **Kashluk** » Tue May 05, 2009 7:45 pm

I now sell insurance. Hooray (?) for me.

I'm rather OK in it. But some people really suck doing it. And they get fired. A lot. And often. And now I'm 'sitting on a hot seat', being constantly afraid of losing my job if I won't meet the quota.

Please D'n'C, pimp my work!

Post by **Manoil** » Wed May 06, 2009 5:41 pm

Sucks, Kash. My dad's girlfriend is an insurance agent. It doesn't seem legit or enjoyable.

You should consider motivational speaking.

Radoteur · Post by **Radoteur** » Mon Jun 22, 2009 7:15 am

I heard there's an algorithm or a program or something that monitors how much skin is in pictures on your screen and it will throw up red flags if it suspects porn.

son of a bitch this thread is a month old my bad

jetbaby · Post by **jetbaby** » Mon Jun 22, 2009 7:53 am

Kashluk wrote:I now sell insurance. Hooray (?) for me.

I'm rather OK in it. But some people really suck doing it. And they get fired. A lot. And often. And now I'm 'sitting on a hot seat', being constantly afraid of losing my job if I won't meet the quota.

Please D'n'C, pimp my work!

You went from veteran and national war hero to insurance salesman? This is so unacceptable. I will write a letter to your Khan.

Kashluk · Post by **Kashluk** » Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:43 am

This stuff works in pretty mysterious ways, I know.

But I just keep blaming the depression and wish for a better tomorrow

PiP · Post by **PiP** » Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:57 am

on the plus side you've just become a Mongol

Tingel Tangel · Post by **Tingel Tangel** » Mon Jun 22, 2009 1:12 pm

I bring bad luck to DSB CafÃ©s (Smiley will probably know the one that used to be on Roskilde station) - when I get hired, exactly 2Â½ months later, the cafÃ© closes down and everyone gets fired. Happened in 2006 in Roskilde, happened in 2007 in Ã…rhus.

The official reason being that the company doesn't like the entire 'restaurant' setting anymore, and that it has to be more compact and shit, giving train travellers convenience stores that sell hotdogs and nothing else - so both times, the leader of said cafÃ©s went "it's going to be temporary - we're guessing that it'll be about, say, a year or something from now, that they're even really thinking of closing us".
And both times, I've received a telephone call within the first two weeks, telling me that the place is closing - 2Â½ months after my date of hire.

I just don't like flipping burgers.

jetbaby · Post by **jetbaby** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:55 am

Dress skimpily and stand on street corners.