My book

Post by **Retlaw83** » Fri Nov 05, 2010 4:20 pm

Yonmanc · Post by **Yonmanc** » Fri Nov 05, 2010 7:22 pm

File Not Found.

Win.

Post by **Retlaw83** » Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:07 pm

Serves me right for putting punctuation on the end of the URL. Should be okay now.

Yonmanc · Post by **Yonmanc** » Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:19 pm

Sounds a bit paranoid in it's predictions, but fun all the same. Be sure to let us know when the books is available, I may be interested in purchasing that.

Post by **Retlaw83** » Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:06 pm

I'm still shopping it around to publishers, so it'll be a bit.

I'm going to put up additional chapters tomorrow; right now I have a lot of drinking with a buddy who's home from Afghanistan to do. Hell, I'll even put up the whole thing if enough people want to read it.

SenisterDenister · Post by **SenisterDenister** » Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:06 pm

Deviant art people freak me the hell out. The worst of the worst and furries to boot.

Blargh · Post by **Blargh** » Fri Nov 05, 2010 11:02 pm

hey at least they are upfront about their worthless degeneracy

unlike SOME

Stalagmite · Post by **Stalagmite** » Sat Nov 06, 2010 12:09 am

A new brand of DACer: The striving degenerate cunt.
Joys of persistent e-volution.

Any other reviews before I CBF'd?

Cakester · Post by **Cakester** » Sat Nov 06, 2010 12:29 am

"Sounds like it's a scam to make the individual suffer while those running the companies make out like bandits," Craddock said.

"Another outburst find you in contempt," the judge responded.

Is this book so we can laugh at your writing style? I am sure you say some profound things, which we have already heard, but certainly in new ways.

Post by **Retlaw83** » Sat Nov 06, 2010 6:30 pm

Congratulations, you found a typo on the internet.

In a few hours I'll put up chapters 2 and 3. The whole thing is written and ready to go, just don't want to dump it all out into the ether at once. I have a few physical copies I printed and bound to get the impressions of people I know.

As for the likes of Stalagmite, don't read it if you don't want to.

Post by **Retlaw83** » Sat Nov 06, 2010 6:51 pm

A friend pointed out some typos in the first chapter, I'll get those fixed when I upload the two subsequent chapters.

Post by **Retlaw83** » Sat Nov 06, 2010 8:51 pm

Corrected some typos in Chapter I and uploaded three other chapters. It's 100 pages worth of reading; the whole thing is 338 pages long.

Yonmanc · Post by **Yonmanc** » Sun Nov 07, 2010 1:52 am

Can't seem to access the other chapters, will only show me comments :/

Post by **Retlaw83** » Sun Nov 07, 2010 3:03 am

They're all like the first, you need to use the download button on the right hand side. I did it this way because text from Word would be a bitch to put into their HTML page, and because I didn't want to put up a naked Word doc that people could easily edit.

Stalagmite · Post by **Stalagmite** » Sun Nov 07, 2010 8:21 pm

Varmint injun killer t'bacee wrote:likes

Draw!

I skimmed through the first chapter, I thought it was mediocre at best, like you're trying to cram too many facts in as quickly as possible. The Starcraft reference doesn't really help your case either.

Post by **Retlaw83** » Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:28 am

I didn't make any Starcraft reference because I've never played it. What are you talking about?

Also, I understand this may not be your kind of thing, but using words like "mediocre" without explaining why you felt that way, and skimming through it without actually reading doesn't allow me to give your opinion much credence.

Your opinion that it seems like I'm sticking information in very quickly is helpful, but I've heard from one person that it's a problem, and from another that it works for them. I'll need more feedback before I can ascertain if there's a problem.

Stalagmite · Post by **Stalagmite** » Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:31 am

The United TERRAN States. Starcraft is quite a big franchise (BLIZZARD!) and would be difficult to use a blatant reference from it, regardless if you played it or not.

Post by **Retlaw83** » Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:33 am

Stalagmite wrote:The United TERRAN States. Starcraft is quite a big franchise (BLIZZARD!) and would be difficult to use a blatant reference from it, regardless if you played it or not.

I don't know if you knew this, but some variation of Terra or Terran is used in virtually every science fiction franchise. It's not a ripoff of Starcraft when I picked it up from Asimov and Heinlein.

Stalagmite · Post by **Stalagmite** » Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:39 am

No, I haven't read much sci fi other than Stephen Donaldson's attempt at it (which was mediocre in the end but the story guided itself nicely so facts brought themselves up at appropriate moments).

Post by **Retlaw83** » Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:42 am

So you find it mediocre because you think the pacing is off.

Any specific facts you found inappropriate?

As an aside, Starcraft ripped off Warhammer 40,000 so heavily I'm shocked there wasn't a lawsuit, though Warhammer ripped off virtually every science fiction franchise so that's probably why. The term "Terran" is as generic as laser rifles and autocannons.

Duck and Cover

My book

My book

:chew: