L.A. Noire

Post by **Dogmeatlives** » Sun May 22, 2011 4:12 am

Scathing muffuggin' review about to happen right here! This game sucks my stinky big toe! WTF were these people thinkng? OK I know what they were thinking. Let's make a 1940's crime thing where youre a cop blah blah blah.... They had good intentions but mylord!! Alright here's how this game plays- you do exactly what the game makers lay out for you to do and you can't mess up.. You. Cannot. Freaking. Mess. Up. I stopped playing immdeiately after I interrogated a suspect, believed almost completely that he was innocent, and so I let him go. As he was walking out of the police station he started screaming "i cant go to jail" and he ran for a car. after a long car chase my partner and I got him and took him in. He was the killer apparently.

Okay. If he was the killer why didn't he just walk out of the station and hit the road? The answer is because I would have broken the game if he had gotten away. I can't not get the suspect, I can't pull out my gun unless the game wants me to, and I can't even run over a pedestrian. This is all because I'm some straight laced detective who is really just some dick and my character would not deviate from any kind of social norm.

A real mystery is why the actor who played the killer was so bloody convincing when claiming he knew nothing about his wife's murder? This brings me to the issue of interrogations which are based on reading peoples faces. Here's the fucking problem- they are all lying all the time because they are fuggin actors!! So really I'm just meant to judge an actors portrayal of honesty or dishonesty. I consider myself pretty good at reading people but is it not easy to be stumped if the actor is playing a character who wants to pretend to be sincere? Now of course I can use evidence to call a suspect out for lying but more than a few times I thought a piece of evidence would be proof enough but it wasn't.

more gripes: Car chases are boring, shootouts suck, interrogation system is incredibly flawed, and the clue finding element of the game is still super easy even if you turn off the vibrating controller signal that alerts you when you're near a clue.

Don't get this game and don't even play it. It'll frustrate the shit out of you if you're looking for anything but a slow, hand-holding police procedural. L.A. Noire is really really bad.

Tofu Man · Post by **Tofu Man** » Sun May 22, 2011 4:46 am

I'll say it. Rockstar forgot how to make a good game fun. Somebody hand these guys a copy of GTA1.

Stalagmite · Post by **Stalagmite** » Sun May 22, 2011 7:48 am

*brofist*
I was wondering when I would see some M.A. NURE hate on the internet, and I found it on DaC. Weird.

I knew it was going to suck without ever even playing it. Duke Nukem Forever bitches.

Tofu Man wrote:I'll say it. Rockstar forgot how to make a good game fun. Somebody hand these guys a copy of GTA1.

Rockstar didn't develop the game, they produced it. Team Bondi was the developer.

POOPERSCOOPER · Post by **POOPERSCOOPER** » Mon May 23, 2011 12:16 am

The interrogations and stuff sounds pretty fun and I wouldn't have even known that was in the game if you hadn't have said that. Either way I don't really want another GTA game at this time, I've been burnt out on them for awhile.

rad resistance · Post by **rad resistance** » Mon May 23, 2011 1:27 am

Only good part of the game is the interrogations. The game suffers from shitty driving mechanics, one-sided investigations, and predictable outcomes.

Mortal Kombat anyone?

SenisterDenister · Post by **SenisterDenister** » Mon May 23, 2011 2:37 am

Nah, I've heard the car chase scenes in that basically boil down to kung fu fighting. If I wanted either of those I'd play street fighter or GTA San Andreas.

Tofu Man · Post by **Tofu Man** » Mon May 23, 2011 3:47 am

Stalagmite wrote:Rockstar didn't develop the game, they produced it. Team Bondi was the developer.

Oi don't be so fucking pedantic, if they had no say on it their name wouldn't be on the box.

SenisterDenister · Post by **SenisterDenister** » Mon May 23, 2011 4:39 am

Bethsoft is publishing id Software's Rage and they still have their name ALL OVER IT despite having nothing to do with the game's development.

Tofu Man · Post by **Tofu Man** » Mon May 23, 2011 5:34 am

GAH! Let go of my trousers you fanbois, GTA4's the most boring piece of AAA drivel I've ever played. THERE I SAID IT! NOW LET GO!

But seriously if that's the reasoning then you needn't go further than GTA1, which was technically made by DMA rather than rockstar. Games mentioned as boring (GTA4, Red Dead and Noire) are all "made" by different studios, yet I don't think publisher input on these (from rstar or take two or whoever the fuck) was as light as beth's on an id project. More like beth's on FNV.

But wtf, who cares, Rockstar is just a fat target for my old-man stinkeye becaues THIER GAMES NOW ARE FAKKIN BORING.

SenisterDenister · Post by **SenisterDenister** » Mon May 23, 2011 5:36 am

I enjoyed Red Dead, I only played about the first three hours of it, though. In my opinion GTA San Andreas is the best of the series.

Tofu Man · Post by **Tofu Man** » Mon May 23, 2011 5:49 am

SenisterDenister wrote:I enjoyed Red Dead, I only played about the first three hours of it, though.

To be honest, what little I played of it at a friend's reminded me too much of GTA4 to make a good impression, so it's maybe not at fault as much as GTA.

SenisterDenister wrote:In my opinion GTA San Andreas is the best of the series.

I concur. If only it had Vice's soundtrack, though.

Stalagmite · Post by **Stalagmite** » Mon May 23, 2011 8:47 am

No fanboyism here. Rockstar develops entertaining playthroughs but that's the extent of fandom this side.

Tofu Man wrote:GTA4, Red Dead

Those were developed and produced by Rockstar.

Post by **Manoil** » Mon May 23, 2011 3:45 pm

I would heartily disagree with this consensus of LA Noire, and perhaps in a bit, I'll get to backing that up. The point is that it's more of a cinematic venture than an open world, balls out game like all of their previous games have been. Criticize if you want, the courage to try something new is commendable.

GTA:SA was great by all lengths, and its soundtrack was beyond massive, though it lacked the awesome 80s of Vice. True. IV was great by many leaps and bounds, but I found what I liked more in it than San Andreas was the fact that they spent a great deal of time with the character development, though I found myself frustrated that they essentially lost just about all of the original GTA characters-- some mild explanation is that everyone has just been killed off in time, though I have serious doubts as to whether Claude, CJ, Vercetti, Joey, D Love, and just about everyone else wouldn't even have a fucking watermark on Liberty after ten years.

GTA also had an overtone of killer's remorse, which seemed to be a more human and believable feel than its predecessors. The wild west of Red Dead had killing as a pretty common ordeal, so no problems there, but Niko most just wanted a calm, safe life, but found himself having to cope with the bullshit of the criminal underworld and a douchey cousin. Again, like Red Dead and LA Noire, it just had a constant feel of authenticity and realism that made the game feel more than just, you know, a game.

Username · Post by **Username** » Mon May 23, 2011 4:40 pm

I might try this. The only ting that's stopping me is the info about the interviews and discussions you have with victims and suspects. Manoil can you confirm it becomes harder in the future, not only harder but hard to the point where if you actually fail something crucial you will "lose"...that case at least.

I don't understand why a "fail" would be game breaking. Many cops fail many cases every day and the world and their jobs keep on going.

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Mon May 23, 2011 6:28 pm

from what ive read you can fuck cases up and move on but you can replay the cases and it tells you where you went wrong. i was kind of interested in the game but the city looks too clean and i dont like the idea of being a straight laced cop. let me snap off some dudes dick or plant evidence, jeez.

gta4 was ok to fuck about with, it just wasnt as over the top as san andreas, which is why i liked gta in the first place. i also struggled with the story as nico kept complaining about having to kill one bloke and had a bunch of cod philosophy and moralising but then when I wasn't doing a mission I was killing hundreds of innocent civilians. i think part of it is the attempt at making these games serious when the people who play these games want to jump on a dudes head with a pogo stick or whatever. if theres going to be a story make soemthing different and not some cliched kubruckian bullcrap you get from any one buck mom and pop store bargain bin dvd clearout sale ffs.

Stalagmite · Post by **Stalagmite** » Mon May 23, 2011 7:20 pm

Agreed, the whole "cop" thing just doesn't seem worthwhile in an open ended city roamer, especially in a 1940's setting. I understand they were inspired partly by noire films, which were moody detective movies made in the 40's usually starring Humphrey Bogart (the best one's starred him at least) but that into a game?? Nah, I had my dose with Mafia 2, which captured the war, post war setting splendidly.

Now Red Dead Redemption, which was inspired by spaghetti westerns, was fucking amazing. You could definitely enjoy old violent European westerns plastered on a video game over Noire films come on now.

And I especially want to give Dogmeat a massive high five for that "actors trying to act game characters who are trying to act innocent or guilty" analogy. The whole internet seems to be gobbling up that feature like crack and I thought I was the only one who thought it didn't seem right and he put my thoughts into words. Fucking spot on, mate.

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Tue May 24, 2011 1:48 am

If you can't tell if the characters are lying or not, I think that's more of a comment on your inability to deal with people. The shit is super obvious that even as a raw recruit, I could have been able to tell that shit. I dunno, maybe it's because my job is to be able to tell if the shit stains I supervise are lying, but I don't see what the bitching is about in that regard.

Or the driving. Granted, it's not like you're playing Need for Speed or some shit, but I had absolutely no problem with the driving. Light years past GTA4 and about on par with GTA3. The only shitty/weird part is that civies have miracle dodge. I guess I understand why, because as a cop, if you ran someone over while chasing down a suspect, you'd be hung over the coals (Even in the 40's), but still.

Chases don't necessarily end with Kung Fu. From what I can tell, there's several ways to stop a perp. You tackle him. You shoot your gun in the air and he stops. He runs into a dead end/your partner and gives up. He finds a civilian and tries to hold him hostage and you shoot him. You shoot him while he's running. Or you catch up to him and he tries to fight you so you clobber him until he gives up. Granted, I haven't had TOO much experience chasing down my offenders in real life, but that's GENERALLY how it goes. Minus the shooting them part. They don't like it when I shoot people. So really? I don't know what's expected here.

Anyways - the game isn't bad. It's not blowing my socks off or anything and there are some problems, just.....I dunno, some of this seems like bitching for the sake of being "hip."

Post by **Dogmeatlives** » Tue May 24, 2011 2:59 am

Wolfman Walt wrote:If you can't tell if the characters are lying or not, I think that's more of a comment on your inability to deal with people. The shit is super obvious that even as a raw recruit, I could have been able to tell that shit. I dunno, maybe it's because my job is to be able to tell if the shit stains I supervise are lying, but I don't see what the bitching is about in that regard.

And this was enjoyable to you? I mean if it was so incredibly easy to guess correctly every time, why the fuck did you continue on? Don't tell me I can't read obvious tells, ok? I'm not fucking autistic here. My problem, and the issue with the entire premise of this interrogation, is that they are lying on a fucking basic level. If you can't tell that then that says something about your ability to recognize actors.

So lets get passed the belief that the videogame characters are real people, ok? I am gonna say that I must be some kind of moron because I, unlike Walt, was tricked several times by the ACTORS PRETENDING TO EITHER LIE OR TELL THE TRUTH. At the point when I interrogated a guy who killed his wife, I asked him if he did it, the actor stared my character right in the eyes and with a sincerity that would have won a nigga an oscar he told me he hadn't killed her.

Now I'm thinking 'this would be way too fucking easy if this guy right here, My first fucking obvious suspect, was the real killer. I must have it wrong. ' It turns out it was the husband. Of course. Then I thought to myself 'every mission I've played so far it's been fucking obvious who the killer is. Why am i bothering with this? Where is the mystery? There's none and I have better shit to do with my time'

Or the driving. Granted, it's not like you're playing Need for Speed or some shit, but I had absolutely no problem with the driving. Light years past GTA4 and about on par with GTA3. The only shitty/weird part is that civies have miracle dodge. I guess I understand why, because as a cop, if you ran someone over while chasing down a suspect, you'd be hung over the coals (Even in the 40's), but still.

The only shitty part of the driving is that it's just fucking driving. It's drive to the suspect's house, now drive to the bar where the vic was last seen, now drive to the coroners. Oh but wait, there's also tail this guy from point A to point B, ooh ooh and there's chase this guy from point A to point B! What a wonderful variety!

Anyways - the game isn't bad. It's not blowing my socks off or anything and there are some problems, just.....I dunno, some of this seems like bitching for the sake of being "hip."

Dude, for sixty bucks and the number of hours I put into it in order to give it a fair chance, "the game isn't bad" really just isn't enough for me. I'm 'bitching' because I wanna give fellow DACers insight into the game that I thought was lacking from the previews/ reviews out there. Not once did anybody mention the shitty chase scenes or the crappy shootouts. And don't fucking tell me "It's not GTA!" Fuck that! Rockstar marketed this shit like it was 1940's GTA with police investigations. They didn't deliver.

Manoil wrote:I would heartily disagree with this consensus of LA Noire, and perhaps in a bit, I'll get to backing that up. The point is that it's more of a cinematic venture than an open world, balls out game like all of their previous games have been. Criticize if you want, the courage to try something new is commendable.

I could get behind it if I felt it was really all that cinematic. From a storytelling angle it was pretty bad. I mean if thats what its' supposed to be... it failed for me. I mean as far as story went, RDR was above and beyond from the very beginning of the game, and GTA4 at least had a likeable main character. I don't think it was really all that courageous either. They had the backing of Rockstar and this insane new technology. I'm sure they saw the investment would pay off or the game would have been scrapped.

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Tue May 24, 2011 3:28 am

Dogmeatlives wrote: Don't tell me I can't read obvious tells, ok?

I think I just did. What are you going to do about it? Type another long post that makes you SO right on a completely subjective matter in what kinda looks like some attempt to look hip because you don't like a heavily marketed mainstream game?

If you can't tell that then that says something about your ability to recognize actors.

Actors who all are using various indicators if they're lying or telling the truth. I don't think its THEIR fault that you're not picking up on them. I've yet to encounter anyone lacking a tell in the game who is lying, so maybe you're somewhere I'm not, but thus far, if you take just a moment to watch it's always there. It may be hidden, but it's there.

was tricked several times by the ACTORS PRETENDING TO EITHER LIE OR TELL THE TRUTH.

You know. Lets forget for a moment here what we're actually arguing about because I'm really confused. Is your complaint that some people lie too well? Cause in your first paragraph it sounded like you were complaining that they were lying too basic? I mean, the way I've encountered it in game....that's how people lie. Most people, especially criminals, are pretty basic in the ways they lie. So I'm really confused. Is your complaint that they're acting too well, or too shittily, or what?

The only shitty part of the driving is that it's just fucking driving.

Then skip it. They provide you the option to skip 90% of the driving. It's a moot point and again, seemingly more bitching for the sake of bitching.

I'm 'bitching' because I wanna give fellow DACers insight into the game that I thought was lacking from the previews/ reviews out there.

K. So don't act pissy when someone offers a counter view that challenges yours. The game is enjoyable, not game of the year, but is fun. Sorry that I feel otherwise and, just like you, can back up my opinion and directly counter parts of yours.

Not once did anybody mention the shitty chase scenes or the crappy shootouts.

Because they're not THAT shitty. They're not exactly stellar pieces of work either, but they're fully functional sets that are complimentary pieces of the whole.

Rockstar marketed this shit like it was 1940's GTA with police investigations.

And Kobe Bryant was marketed to be the next Michael Jordan. Just because it failed in that aspect doesn't make it shit. I'm not saying the game is without faults, I'm just saying that it sounds like you're doing a lot of bitching over very subjective things. There's nothing I've found to be broken or overly boring in the game. There are no hallmarks of a bad game here, but you act like it fucked your dog. Hell, I figured a game where you send a jew to the gas chamber within the first hour would be right up your alley given your history, Dogmeat.

rad resistance · Post by **rad resistance** » Tue May 24, 2011 3:43 am

Bograt is saddened. I've played well into the homoicide chapter and I feel rather insulted by the lack of difficulty in the cases I mean seriously the last guy I interrogated in a case was the murderer and he also had all the evidence against him. Why leave a bloody knife out or keep a bloodly rope lying around? Were killers back then that stupid or just very oblivious to the fact that the rossers might catch on or was it the game designers just being lazy slags. If I finish this turd I'll give a more indepth review.