Transformers 3

POOPERSCOOPER · Post by **POOPERSCOOPER** » Sat Jul 02, 2011 5:34 am

Look negros, I'm one of the few who didn't really dig either of the Transformer movies while everyone ate them up. They always felt too goofy and childish and the only interesting parts was when the robots fight. It's pretty much the same thing here.

The story is that there are transformers on the moon and apollo 11 was all a cover up etc etc. They replaced Megan Fox with some European model who has about the same level of acting ability of Megan Fox but has even bigger lips. Either way everything involving humans is generally shit except when they are fighting it's marginally better. The only redeeming thing in this movie and the other is the 1/3 portion of when the transformers are fighting except that is usually always instant kills which isn't as entertaining.

The movie did have some decent action, not just on the transformer level but on the human level. Humans versus transformers is usually always shit and for the most part it was shit in this movie but they had one scene where a building is falling a part and they are playing around with physics and was well done.

The special effects were superb like usual and it's always pretty impressive how they can do slow motion and still make it look good but then they all transform into cars and race around and I'm all like "you did that cause your lazy". There were some scenes that I felt were a bit too mature for some of the audience they were focusing on because they had lots of humans just being mowed down into dust, seemed a bit more than some kids should probably be able to handle.

Anyways, if you like either 1 or 2 you will like this movie. I think the only reason to watch any of the transformer movies is for the fights and if you don't watch it for that then you obviously don't have my taste in films (IE good taste).

Tofu Man · Post by **Tofu Man** » Sat Jul 02, 2011 5:53 am

POOPERSCOOPER wrote:Look negros, I'm one of the few who didn't really dig either of the Transformer movies while everyone ate them up.

There's a lot more of us negros than you think.

Blargh · Post by **Blargh** » Sat Jul 02, 2011 6:57 am

Cursory research suggests that It Is Tradition for the humans to be awful. How refreshing to see a franchise that has not, <strike>due to monkeys in suits</strike> for whatever reason, lost touch with its roots.

gobbleykins · Post by **gobbleykins** » Sat Jul 02, 2011 7:19 am

ok I know you're being facetious here blargh but let the record fucking state for any of those who don't understand sarcasm (of which there are many, perhaps because they are dense or for other reasons) that the transformers franchise lost touch with its roots the minute michael bay got ahold of directorial reins.

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Sat Jul 02, 2011 10:41 am

yes, a cartoon made to sell toys in the eighties drawn in sweat shops by children with pens instead of hands has been raped the fuck end out of by michael bay, goddamn him.

i thought the first one was alright for what it was. the second one was boring as fuck. the third one looks similar, the transformers are usually a mess of polychoron bullshit that was probably also made in sweat shops by children with mice instead of hands that i can never tell whats really going on and i hate that kid in it as he just yells WHOA all the time like a shitter keanu reeves

Cimmerian Nights · Post by **Cimmerian Nights** » Sat Jul 02, 2011 1:40 pm

The best part apart these movies are reading the reviews that just eviscerate Bay.

I have no attachment to the Transformers, even though I grew up with all that shit.
But in these movies, they don't even look like transformers, I watch these previews and it's like giant refrigerators smashing into each other. They look really klutzy and klunky.

Not that any of this will stop the mainstream movie going public from making it the #1 movie.

Megatron wrote:yes, a cartoon made to sell toys in the eighties drawn in sweat shops by children with pens instead of hands has been raped the fuck end out of by michael bay, goddamn him.

Still, if you put a gun to my head, I'd rather watch the cartoon which was really just a flimsy infomercial for the toy line.

rad resistance · Post by **rad resistance** » Sat Jul 02, 2011 7:18 pm

The review I read for this piece of shit was in the New York Post and damn was it funny. Funny thing is he is right about everything the shitty editing and the assaultive noise levels and the stupid fucking actors. The problem is the movies are about plastic shit toys made in Taiwan or China. This is properly one of the worst films I ever fucking saw and after the movie I saw these fucking kids all giddy and excitied and like yeah that was awesome wasn't she hot, wasn't those the coolest fight scenes ever. I recalled hearing one say best one out of the three and the best movie ever. I wanted to fucking brain em but instead gave them the lesbian stare. After all that shit I got some bud and went home then watched a good film Year of the Dragon.

jetbaby · Post by **jetbaby** » Sat Jul 02, 2011 10:13 pm

I hate Michael Bay, I love Peter Cullen.

Cimmerian Nights · Post by **Cimmerian Nights** » Sun Jul 03, 2011 1:59 am

I love the title "Dark of the Moon" it's like they were afraid of getting sued, so some exec made the decision "drop the 'side' part and the plebs won't notice anyway."

The review I read for this piece of shit was in the New York Post and damn was it funny.

The Post is always great for laughs.

http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/m ... 4UTuDyqi6N

a movie so confusingly frenetic that it looks like it was edited by a 5-year-old after consuming three bowls of LSD-laced Capâ€™n Crunch.

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Sun Jul 03, 2011 5:05 am

Cimmerian Nights wrote:I love the title "Dark of the Moon" it's like they were afraid of getting sued, so some exec made the decision "drop the 'side' part and the plebs won't notice anyway."

They mention the resembelence in the movie, so I don't think that was the reason.

rad resistance · Post by **rad resistance** » Sun Jul 03, 2011 4:32 pm

The whole movie just felt dumb it had an aura of stupidity.

Post by **Manoil** » Mon Jul 04, 2011 3:58 pm

Going to IMAX to watch shit blow up in ubersound. Wish me luck, that I might leave with my audio/visual senses intact

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:57 pm

Enjoy your Deep Wang.

Username · Post by **Username** » Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:39 am

The movie is for kids guys of course even you feel its stupid.
The first one was your classic boy meets girl, boy and girl are alone, boy and girl get chased by a giant killing robot sort of stories.

First crush, first transformers bot, first save the world quest. Shit that gets the kids excited.

Duck and Cover

Transformers 3

Do you like the transformer films?

Transformers 3

Quixotic.