Saints Row the Third

[POOPERSCOOPER]

Why are P90s so rare in games today? If you aren't playing a modern war game, then you have to play Fallout 2/Tactics or mods in order to get them (or Goldeneye 64). They're a great gun and have an interesting design. I would imagine more games would get in on that action

I've wondered this too. In Goldeneye they were killer but like you never really see them in games anymore, I don't know how realistic p90s are or if they were ever supposed to be that good.

Anyways, I like how Blargh is so serious how reviewing Saints Row 3, who would have thought. Perhaps there is more to the game than us normal folks see.

[Manoil]

The P90 is accurate, has a 50-round clip, and uses 5.7mm rounds, which are by standard, armor-piercing. It's supposed to be the uber among close-combat, anti-personnel/light armor. It's design is also pretty unique, and while it's an able machine by standard, it has a few mods I understand that further boost its performance.

Saints 3 is pretty damn legit. And it's an entertaining representation of a chaotic population. It's easy to enjoy.

[Megatron]

I played a bit of 2 the other day for 'fun' and it was pretty good, though its all about insurance fraud as the guns sound less like a gun and more like not gun.

I think I'll play this in a bit. Part of the problem I have with games recently is that though ragtag physics exist, i dont really feel that i interact with the world. i just float along with everything else floating underneath and around me like the game takes place on frikkin mars or some dumb shit. i i walk I want my footsteps to leave a mark on the concrete. You know?

[Stalagmite]

Yeah my GF and I downloaded the "demo" on PSN which started off with a video with some hot American chicks talking about the character creator (I think I got slapped for gawking) but anyway we laughed our asses off creating a character and putting skirts on buff males and stuff and I was curiously fascinated how all the greetings have 'Mate' in them, though the game doesn't appear to be Aussie. Hmm. Anyway we went to go play but it appears that you cannot in the demo because there was no option to do so.

Definitely looks like something I could have a laugh with, in any case. Unless the gameplay is so horrid that the devs think that the joke is on us for purchasing it of course, cos you can't find out in the free version.

[Blargh]

The 'demo' is quite literally a character creator. Not gameplay. They offered early access to it as an incentive for pre-orders of the last Red Faction game.

Did you honestly confuse an overdone <strike>Die, Bastard Vicar, Die</strike>/Cockney(ish) for an Australian accent ? As an alleged Australian ?

Would have thought both of those were fairly fucking obvious, but then : Stalagmite.

[Blargh]

Because I mostly glossed over this aspect for some bloody reason and I just KNOW that you're all giddily awaiting my ruminations, yet too COY to ask :

The lackeys. Did they add anything ?

Johnny - Went out like a bitch. Off screen, no less. It's almost sacrilegious. Will probably be back in DLC, V.O's apparently Very Busy Schedule permitting.
Pierce - in what many who are familiar with 2 would consider a shocking development, demonstrates actual growth/usefulness/isn't eminently forgettable. Unfortunately, begins the disappointing trend of activities being confused for actual plot.
Not-Shaundi - from mellow as fuck buzz monster/brazen idea thief/impressively networked trollop to massive cunt with severe, yet (and I feel this is an important distinction from the Boss) entirely unlovable personality issues because JOHNNY and an alarming lack of competence (how many bloody times must she be kidnapped like the now feckless twat that she is before losses are cut and tied ?) Am hoping TT version is later ret-conned into being a body double. A dead body double.
Oleg - engages a plane with fisticuffs. Doesn't have any activities tied to him. Easily the best new character for these two reasons/lack of competition. Otherwise, a fairly insipid caricature. BIG, yet not stupid. High five ! Pattern emerges ?
Zimos - Good/Shallow/Fleeting : autotune. UnGood : said quirk insufficient compensation/screening for certain loathesome/tedious personality aspects. Good : Thrilling rickshaw pursuit scene. Good (?) : Mysteriously vanishes onto a bus after being thoroughly irrelevant. Bad : Cannot kill him. Bad : Responsible for one instance of the mostly abhorred Escort activity. Who thought 'stop for 5 seconds' was a worthy addition ? At least they don't ask to go to whichever-district-is-furthest-from-your-current-position, as they did so frequently in 2.
Kinzie - Occasionally amusing. Provides actual handwaving for certain toys like the RC gun. Counterpoint : Saints Row doesn't really need any reason other than : Would it be fun and/or SO ZANY ? Also, Cyberblazing. Initially pretty, then SO BORING.
Angel - almost redeemed by the fucking tiger. Despite the fucking tiger being the other instance of Escort. Damned for extremely poor characterisation regarding the whole humiliate/inhume Killbane issue. Can't even address/challenge his inconsistency.
Viola - Hilariously snotty. Not-Shaundi hates her because JOHNNY. Offers no discernible reason for why one shouldn't/wouldn't instruct her to fuck off when she decides to jump ship.
Burt 'Fucking' Reynolds - underwhelming. Dichotomy between this and the Boss squeeing like a retard reeks of author insertion. Probably canonically dead along with Magical Morningstar Defector Girl due to V.O retainers/scheduling.
Josh Birk/Batman - surprisingly amusing, despite being a blatant parody. Also, can have both versions follow you simultaneously. Unfortunately, at no point can you kill him for being an egregious fuckwit. Possibly because he is literally too dense to understand how to die.

Overall, they pretty much suck.

FIN.

[St. Toxic]

I played a bit of 2 the other day for 'fun' and it was pretty good, though its all about insurance fraud as the guns sound less like a gun and more like not gun.

I think I'll play this in a bit. Part of the problem I have with games recently is that though ragtag physics exist, i dont really feel that i interact with the world. i just float along with everything else floating underneath and around me like the game takes place on frikkin mars or some dumb shit. i i walk I want my footsteps to leave a mark on the concrete. You know?

That was one of my biggest complaints too. Sure, the target audience generally seems worse than Bethtards and the world is so unengaging it might as well not be there, but couldn't they at least have made the vehicles behave like vehicles? Flashpoint did a better job at it, and that was fucking terrible. The notion that SR2 has San Andreas physics is preposterous, though technically Ret was talking about SR3 of which I know nothing.

[Manoil]

. . .

True. I would also add that they made Oleg the center of just about all the character development-- apparently he was beefing with Reynolds, beefing with Viola, in love with Kinzie, and being goaded into joining wrestling by Angel (who, if I am not mistaken, is voiced by Bishop? Is that accurate?).

I also get the feeling that, given his inherent visual and character transformation, Pierce had significant plastic surgery since Saints 2. Very :Repo:.

J. Birk/NB glitch seems like an obvious problem that would occur. To not have predicted that was an epic fail on behalf of Volition.

The stopping recoil of a van collision in Escort is not just utter bullshit, it defies even flexible-but-realistic physics. I beat everything it had to offer, but if I started a new file, I would certainly not waste minutes of my life on that fuckery again. Certainly not without use of MINI-NUKE LAUNCHERS. PEWPEW

Also, Shaundi. Used to be a great character, and a caricature of all those slutty party girls from high school, now just a different face with a stick shoved up her ass. Unappreciated alteration.

[Blargh]

How could I fucking forget to comment on their combat utility ? That is to say, almost none. So many instances where they would outright refuse to fire their guns or decide to lag behind constantly. The one positive I can recall ? Their remarkable effectiveness when placed on the secondary turret of either tank. Delightful to employ that sort of aimbotesque bollocks against the opposition, rather than have it be entirely one way.

preposterous

No argument, the driving model in 2 was horrid. Almost no difference in handling from vehicle to vehicle. TT is improved, closer to the system from GTA IV, which I regard as probably the only genuinely enjoyable aspect of the game.

Bishop

Hulk Hogan, actually. Didn't do too bad a job with the voice work, I thought. Occasional slips of boredom. Response to the character ? I'd blame the writers/direction equally.

:Repo:

As with Not-Shaundi's transformation, fairly apropos given their CORPORATE WHORE status. Also, a reality <strike>where chess is an extreme sport</strike> in which you can buy a flawless gender reassignment/skeletal adjustment/assorted other improbable/extreme modifications for pocket change and an hour or two. That reminds me, 'Gangstas in Space' - possibly the most profound case of wasted character development in the game. Practically an ouroboros of inane self-unawareness. Despite my prior bitching, given the alternative, I am hoping the wonderfully hollow, utterly pointless Killbane curbstomp (possibly the best use of QTE I have witnessed) is taken as (hate this word and all the connotations of) canon. Also, the hilarious contrast of Bonnie Tyler's Holding Out for a Hero accompanying the most thematically antithetical option of the moment. Also, CITY-STATE.

Though I don't quite understand (aside from the ever wearisome author fiat) why you don't have the time to do both. It's the fucking Boss, after all. Probably with a stolen VTOL (an aerial microwave laser : the ideal response to Not-Shaundi's once/forever hostage plight). Seriously, who would bother with the roads at that point ?

glitch

Personally, think it's the best feature of the character(s) and am hoping they don't choose to dispense with it.

PEWPEW

It was (though this could be a symptom of how activities were structured, i.e : 6 sequential levels) worse in 2. Primarily because the cars they provided were sluggish and awful, and the vans were behaviourally identical to TT. At least you could use weapons in 2. Admittedly at a cost of increasing the time/odds that the client would demand you drive to the marina from the university, for example. Most offensive aspect, as you and many others have noted : the AI throwing any pretense of not mimicking GTA by playing to a different set of rules than the player with those ridiculous vans. After one instance, I altered cheats.xtbl to not flag infinite car mass/vehicular invulnerability. Was reasonably cathartic.

It's not entirely shit, though. The caricature animal activists were true to <strike>PETA</strike> life. Paraphrasing : 'Stop endangering endangered animals !, while driving like an extremely aggressive, palsied, suicidal lunatic. Hilarious.

Shaundi

Also, the new voice. Wonder what became of Eliza Dushku ? Not the greatest actress, IMO, but I think she did a (comparatively) exemplary job in 2.

[Stalagmite]

<strike>Blargh is nothing but a gutless, nerdy, swell guy, coward. He posts on DaC, believing himself to be some sort of intellectual messiah, when he's in fact nothing but a psuedo intellectual leftwing elitist douche nozzle. I can see him sitting there having asthma attacks wearing glasses and reading comic books with snot running down his face. His mum is the only thing interesting about his existence!</strike>
Disregard this, my fine gentlemen. I simply do enjoy the most exquisite flavour of cockles upon mine toungeth

[Manoil]

Hogan? Yet another case of a voice actor too expensive for the part they play. FUCK.

I agree that the whole city-state reality would be a great deal more interesting and dynamic, but you know they're going to go the easier route and say everything is still 'Merican and pretty. I have a lot of ideas for the next game, regardless of which ending is canon, but you can sure as shit bet that whatever they do, it won't be nearly as good as it could have been should they have just given it a bit more time to mature as an idea. Killbane, even if he doesn't return for bullshit reasons, will live on. Even though his death brought about intriguing consequences (and a fuckin' awesome commando-grade final mission) it doesn't develop the story along a simple path from which the next game can continue to be another USA metropolis with consumer-based rampant propaganda, gangs to conquer, and cops to try and FOIL YOU!!~!~!

A city-state in control of the Saints would have no opposition to power, be it from gangs or police. It'd be a big playground with no resistance and that would be utter shit.

By ending with the Gangstas in Space nonsense, there's an opening to maybe frame the Saints for some bullshit, have their assets raided and confiscated by STAG (surprise), and have the cycle repeat itself.

Whatever the case, it's fun enough to play even with arguable points at any given place.

WHY THE FUCK DID THEY GET HULK HOGAN

[Blargh]

expensive

Not sure, but given an acrimonious and (surprise !) financially excoriating divorce, his fees may not be quite so high as you suspect. <strike>Net worth < 30 million ? SLUMMING IT.</strike> Still, easily arguable as wasted funds on results alone.

Regarding the city-state - it could be tackled in the vein of a (spin-off ?) 4X. Obviously, start with a single city/pair of cities and leverage that to the subjugation of other cities/states/nations and eventually worlds/empires/galaxies. Activities could be rejiggered - you could 'improve' planets (perhaps with Monica Hughes/Cyrus/X directed invectives/portraiture/'art' ?) with capital ship class weaponry instead of tagging buildings with spray-paint, as just one example. S.T.A.G would finally be an appropriate antagonist, too. It's the only way to do justice to/redeem the 'Ganstas in Space' concept, really.

opposition

I cannot recall exactly where (cutscene/radio et al), but S.T.A.G describes itself as cleansing gang influence 'one city at a time', at the least this implies a national presence. Then again, they chose Birk as their face, which could imply that their PR department is staffed by cretins who regard Good Sense as anathema. Could even excuse a Yakuza revisit via pissed off Akuji relatives, to write little of other organisations, and actual syndicates. Might even have some scenarios where the player is on the defensive as their holdings come under siege/partial occupation by hostile/opportunistic groups. You know, unlike TT where The Syndicate was all talk and cos-players, and their fearsome, brilliant leader resembled chutney as the culmination to the bloody tutorial. Given their anemic performance in their heartland, I can only laugh at the prospect of them threatening Stilwater operations. Unless, were they but a franchisee ? Ahahaha.

Hate tutorials disguised as gameplay.

I suspect you're right, though. Volition will probably create some chimeric disappointment. Similar perhaps, to how Ion Storm somehow thought using a fusion of all 4 Deus Ex's endings as a starting point for Alex D is a Colossal Twat - Tangible Bore would be a workable and above all, good concept. I contend that it could have been both, just not in their hands.

case

True. Flaws, shortcomings, baffling omissions and superficiality aside, it's still a hell of a lot of fun.

While I (mostly) hate <strike>the</strike> DLC, I wouldn't mind a BRIAN BLESSED voice pack . . .

<strike>Blargh is nothing but a gutless, nerdy, swell guy, coward. He posts on DaC, believing himself to be some sort of intellectual messiah, when he's in fact nothing but a psuedo intellectual leftwing elitist douche nozzle. I can see him sitting there having asthma attacks wearing glasses and reading comic books with snot running down his face. His mum is the only thing interesting about his existence!</strike>

Ahahaha. Forgive this momentary break from tradition - such wonderfully SCATHING bile, like some newly rediscovered, once thought extinct, species, deserves both preservation and respect.

[Tofu Man]

While I (mostly) hate <strike>the</strike> DLC, I wouldn't mind a BRIAN BLESSED voice pack . . .

Then again, what game couldn't be improved by a BB voice pack? Imagine Skyrim with a Blessed PC. It'd almost be tolerable. Almost.

<strike>psuedo</strike>

I really liked that board game. Lemme guess, Blargh, in the pantry, with a pink dildo.

[Wolfman Walt]

I don't know how realistic p90s

I own a civilian version. Definitely one of my favorite weapons to shoot, if not just abit expensive.

As for P90's being rare. I don't really think they are. They're not as used as say MP5s or M4s, but you see a pretty healthy representation of em in first person shooters.

[Manoil]

Well, yeah, you find them in Battlecall: Field of Duty and CS:S types of games, but how many more flexible games have them? Modding them into San Andreas was like, one of my favorite aesthetic improvements to the game. It's a gun that demands pwnage at every use (which I often disappoint when playing CounterStrike).

Getting them in The Ballad of Gay Tony was pretty awesome, but got outshined when you got the Golden Uzi. Honestly, I just want fucking P90s in my modern-warfare adventure games. If you have to mod it in or get it in DLC, it's going too far.

[Wolfman Walt]

modern-warfare adventure games.

Que? I was under the impression that there are only FPS games nowadays.

[Manoil]

Touche, you beautiful bastard.

[Manoil]

It's a clusterfuck, but I'm looking into modding Saints TT in the interest of adding new content (i.e. cars, FUCKING P90s). It's messy, but If I can extract the P90 models from either New Vegas mods or Counterstrike: Source, and convert them into the proper forms, I would really enjoy using them.

As far as cars go, I don't really know what I'd put in, other than the fact that I'd know once I see it.

[Blargh]

Fully articulated combine harvester. (WO)MAN CUBES, GO.

Been fucking around with the weapons. Amongst other things, dual Gravediggers (though can't quite preserve that unique testicular assault animation), shotgun use on bikes (and also, unintentionally, while driving cars), and taser bullets (which, for some reason I have yet to bother to isolate, don't cause brutes to stop-drop-and-spas, unlike, for instance, electrical grenades).

Currently thinking of attempting to clone and re-purpose the reaper drone into something like an orbital killsat by way of the laser assets. Hopefully workable.

[Manoil]

Sounds utterly excellent. Tesla weapons are the prestige; if you can get some variants made, I would get all over that shit

Currently inquiring about adding new weapons into the system, first if it is possible, and then if new models/textures can be added. It struck me today that we could convert all the models from the Classic Fallout Weapons pack and try to put them into TT, meaning Gauss, Micro-Flamer pistols, EMP weapons, Uber shotties. P90 is just a piece of the puzzle at this point, but the end fantasy is getting a T-51b suit to run around Steelport in. Probably would clip like crazy, but it would still be fucking delicious