Duck and Cover

So is there anyone here with actual cooking skills*?



*knowledge about techniques, methods & terminology and the ability to apply them in an even and standardized manner to create one gastronomic climax after the other

ive got some mad cooking skillz yo:

1. put some shit in da micro
2. ???
3. profit!

Gimp Mask wrote:ive got some mad cooking skillz yo:

1. put some shit in da micro
2. ???
3. profit!

Using a microwave isn't cooking*. It's destroying food, thus making it as worthless as the person who just destroyed the food.


*well it's ok for melting butter

you consider melting butter cooking?

Sure, it's essential for certain meals and therefore part of the cooking process.
I melt my butter in a pan or a bain marie because I don't own a microwave. And never will.

i think the microwave owned you tbh

No it didn't tbh.

Nooke wrote:So is there anyone here with actual cooking skills*?

1. Put butter in microwave
2. ???
3. Gourmet!

Subhuman wrote:This is one of my regulars.

Spaghetti Carbonara

200g spaghetti (two servings, basically

yadda yadda

I never really understood why people bother with this kind of shit. Just buy a jar of that stuff and be done with it? Time / quality != worth the effort. I mean I do like cooking, but with pasta sauces and shit, I really can't be arsed (unless the taste is like 100x better using fresh ingredients, which it usually probably is but I won't notice anyway so whatever), I'd rather spend my time on something else.

Carbonara is delicious though, I'll give you that.

Gimp Mask wrote:...I won't notice anyway...

You have no taste, that's all, buddy.

Um. You're a real fucking Sherlock aren't you? That's what I just said you cock gobbler.
Go indulge in your hedonistic swell guy. Food isn't an orasmatron, it's for not dying I think?

Look at the no-taste-guy and laugh.

Also, whats an orasamtron? Do you mean Orgasmatron or maybe Orgasmotron?


No, but with all seriousness, food as source of nutrition has become obsolete. We eat for joy. At least those who can afford spending $ 100 - 250 for a meal. Now go chew on paper, you rubber-face retard.

yes i mean orgasmatron. A+ for grammar nazism, pat yourself on the butt or something. D- for failing to duplicate my spelling mistake though

If you can afford to spend $100 - 250 on a meal, I really don't see why you would feel the need to:
a) cook your own meals
b) browse DAC

in all seriousness though (lol), you're kind of missing my point. the extra joy provided by pasta sauce prepared from fresh ingredients does not compensate for the time spent on making said sauce, or that's how i feel anyway. the "not noticing the difference" remark was mostly sarcasm - whilst i'm not an epicure of any sort, i do possess quite a sharp sense of taste. in a nutshell: imo it's not just worth it imho tbh imo.

time to enjoy my paper, now.

a) My life revolves around cooking top quality meals.

b) I like... like... dunno. It's like drug abuse, I guess. There is no plausible explanation for this.

With some prep and when everything is mise en place you can cook really awesome shit within minutes. Of course you also need to know how. And time management! It's all about time management!

First of all, you can't buy carbonara sauce - not real carbonara, anyway. It's all about combining the egg, cheese and pasta to make a creamy sauce that must be eaten as soon as it's made - carbonara doesn't reheat well (most pasta doesn't). And secondly, there is a taste difference between a tomato sauce made from scratch and one from a bottle, if only because when you make your own you can put basically whatever you want in it - the variations are endless. With a bottle everything is done for you. I use bottled sauces when I can't be arsed to make anything fancier, but there is something enjoyable about making a simple tomato sauce a day or so before you need it, then reheating it when the flavors have infused and mellowed.

The fact that I'm making fish sticks and minute rice as I type this is irrelevant.

I enjoy my hotdogs microwaved at about a minute and a half to two minutes depending on the machine.. Also a light spritz of catsup goes far to making it a memorable meal...

Nooke wrote:a) My life revolves around cooking top quality meals.

b) I like... like... dunno. It's like drug abuse, I guess. There is no plausible explanation for this.

With some prep and when everything is mise en place you can cook really awesome shit within minutes. Of course you also need to know how. And time management! It's all about time management!

also, we've got another gay to contend with

Dogmeatlives wrote:

Nooke wrote:a) My life revolves around cooking top quality meals.

b) I like... like... dunno. It's like drug abuse, I guess. There is no plausible explanation for this.

With some prep and when everything is mise en place you can cook really awesome shit within minutes. Of course you also need to know how. And time management! It's all about time management!

also, we've got another gay to contend with

Only because I love cooking really good food means that I'm gay? Obviously you haven't ever won a lady's heart by cooking for her.
In the German language there's this saying "Liebe geht durch den Magen" what means "love goes through the stomach" what means that food is a really good way to get yourself some premium quality pussy you dumb swell guy.

real men buy drinks until the girl's really drunk, ever heard of that you cookbook jewbag

there's also the german saying "arbeit macht fries", how do you like them apples.

=sex

Gimp Mask wrote:real men buy drinks until the girl's really drunk, ever heard of that you cookbook jewbag

there's also the german saying "arbeit macht fries", how do you like them apples.

=sex

No, that's what real retard rednecks do.
LoL at ARBEIT MACHT FRIES.
Anyway, I rarely cook with cookbooks. I sure own a few and use some of the info there as inspiration, but I am usually rather creative. That about private cooking.
As for professional cooking, it's up to the executive chef to decide what goes in where (and how much of it) and I'm not in the position to vary the ingredients.
All in all recipes are nice and good, but it's all about well balanced and/or contrasted flavor (and some other factors) and this requires variation sometimes (if you can).