Duck and Cover

Here's a nice bit of read for those of you that take gaming seriously (?!?!) or those of you that didn't quite realise what it was that made Dead Island so shit.

(...)What I did expect from Dead Island, at the very least, was a viscerally diverting few hours of chopping up and running from zombies. And it did give me that, to some extent. What I did not expect from Dead Island — and what it doggedly, depressingly, and finally infuriatingly provides — is an experience woefully bound up in a concept that only recently leapt the transom of academic gamer discourse and is now being pondered in corporate boardrooms around the world. I speak of Gamification.(...)

(...)Someone at Techland, I suspect, played Borderlands, loved the hit-point cascades pouring off the enemies, loved the endless customization of weapons, loved the facile thrill of leveling up, and decided, "I think our riveting open-world zombie game needs all of this." If this is indeed what happened, I would like the party responsible to know that he made a terrible, terrible mistake. (...)

(...)Here is what Dead Island should have been about: running from things that want to kill you and killing them by finding weapons hidden away in an interesting series of environments. It should have been scary and primitive and animal and savage. It should have involved weapons that visibly degrade in your hand rather than weapons tricked out with pointless little subscreen health meters. It should not have involved an in-game economy with duct tape you can sell for $3 and buy for $150.(...)

More @ http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/696 ... -game-star

Next up: Gaming IRL!! Brush teeth! Get XP!! LEVEL UP!!!!11oneone!

I have no idea if any of you hopeless proles (and it would be a lie to write that I cared) have any interest in the Call of Jorge series, but if the latest offering, The Cartel, didn't inexorably confirm to you that Dead Island would be nothing but horrid why would you think otherwise julia how could you be so wrong how could i believe you had overcome your astounding naïveté you bitch

SenisterDenister wrote:I don't know if you read this comic but the gaming IRL thing made me remember this.

<strike>I don't but I'm pretty sure I recognize the style.</strike> Ah SMBC, I thought that looked familiar.

Blargh wrote:Call of Medellín

Good lord, does someone buy your games for you or are you that masochistic?

Occasional, and in this instance, rapidly fleeting, morbid curiousity. Ehue.

This one, though.

I HAVE GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT THIS ONE.

I do too, I like Paradox games. That said, I wish it were turn based, but beggars can't be choosers.

a turn-based syndicate would make as much sense as a first-person syndicate, dude where's my car

thanks for the heads-up dear blargh

I've always been a fan of turn based tactical games over real time ones, X-Com as opposed to Commandos. That said I like them all a lot.

One senior exec over at EA went:

"Ah, Commandos! That's what we need. A WW2 FPS with a burly main character. Buy the license and torch the studio, Leopold. And be quick about it, I've a tango lesson at five."

Blargh wrote:I have no idea if any of you hopeless proles (and it would be a lie to write that I cared) have any interest in the Call of Jorge series, but if the latest offering, The Cartel, didn't inexorably confirm to you that Dead Island would be nothing but horrid why would you think otherwise julia how could you be so wrong how could i believe you had overcome your astounding naïveté you bitch

Out of curiosity I searched for the Call of Juarez: The Cartel only because I heard the CoJ were atleast mildly decent then I read the description of The Cartel;

"The game is part of the Call of Juarez western-themed video games, but is set in modern-day Los Angeles and Mexico as up to three players take the role of law enforcement agents"

You know when a series is bad when they forget it's time period and move it to modern day (except for terminator).

POOPERSCOOPER wrote:"The game is part of the Call of Juarez western-themed video games, but is set in modern-day Los Angeles and Mexico as up to three players take the role of law enforcement agents"

You know when a series is bad when they forget it's time period and move it to modern day (except for terminator).

A "Reverse Back to the Future"! HA!

Or is it a Back to Front Back to the Future? Back to the Past????? Future to the Back?????????????? MYSTARY!?!




EDIT - Also, Pro Evo 2012 is shit. Back to Sensi Soccer for me.

So you were expecting a sports game to be good? What a laugh riot.

I've been playing a lot of New Vegas, and I've played through Dead Money and Honest Hearts. Both good in their own respects, each one pursues a different avenue of telling the story and making you play (core mechanics aside). I'm working my way through Old World Blues right now and the opening dialog between the Think Tank and my player character was honest to God funny. So far the writing for it is pretty damn good for a video game, and especially DLC.

Looking forward to Lonesome Road.

moi wrote:Look at me, I had 2 weeks vacation and they almost made me a News Poster.

he [i]kept[/i] the peace, now he's just a cunt like the rest of us wrote:LOOK AT MEH, I'M A NEWS POSTAH MUDAFUKKA!!!

Looks like someone's been busy.

funster & the highwayman wrote:expecting

Expecting? No. I do enjoy stating the obvious, though. Besides, <strike>morbid curiousity</strike> grandma has terrible taste but, you know, gifts go in horse's mouth and all... And there is such a thing as a good sports game, Caroline. They've just been LCD'd when they shoulda been CRT'd. Or something. A shame.

daddy longlegs tour '76 wrote:Old World Blues

Can't bring myself to finish it, the hunt for miscellaneous household appliances is positively thrilling.*

And while marks should be given in full for the Tank of Think, they pull this kind of shit again and I'll be buying the DLC instead of the game.

*Also, hourly CTDs. Oh joy.

an' ting.

As for the news poster thing goes, I didn't really ask for it. KOC kind of just made me one after playing some L4D2 with him for a bit. Got to talking about how nobody was posting anything, about how I was still posting regularly, and bam, next thing I know I'm a news poster and I've got a 55 page court document to read through.

As for keeping the peace, I plan to uphold the law within the boundaries of still not being a moderator will permit.

SenisterDenister wrote:(...)next thing I know I'm a news poster and I've got a 55 page court document to read through(...)

LMAO, KoC be pimpin'. He's all like "hey girl, wanna partah?" and then he's all "HERE'S A COURT DOCUMENT, NOW GET TYPIN' BITCH!". Respek. The more you hear of the guy, the more he sounds like Herve.

my life is a video g

at the moment im playing medieval totalatarian war find the byzantines wmds or get the fuck out. I liked rome: total war quite a bit but then struggled with all the barbarian dickheads midgame and dropped it. medieval tw2 is pretty much better. I've been playing as england of course, swooping across europe spaffing death into the open eyes of france and poland like when cern turned into a black hole and fucked up 13th century europe????

i also got alpha protocal as it was a quid, havent played it yet. I did play a demo of mass effect 2 which was fucking dog shit, like that star wars game but with more cut scenes, ugh.

Alpha Proctologist only really becomes potentially amazing if you can do two things :

1 - Play through it.
2 - Play through it. Again.

:profundity:

I'd recommend against playing on hard. It's a waste of dendrites.

Oh and Lonesome Road wasn't bad.

A BIT TOO LINEAR FOR MY PALATE THOUGH OLO

Ulysses was, perhaps unavoidably, disappointing. And broken. And mildly obsessive. And too easy to talk down. Irritatingly

TALKS

LIKE

THIS

Also has mistaken leaden metaphor for substance. Bear ? Whatever could you mean, you terribly cunning dreadlocked cypher ? Seemed to be a tad confused as to my lack of allegiance. Despite having given House, Caesar and Kimble a commonality in the form of can't-find-your-eyeballs, I was branded a lapdog of House. Is recycling imitation ? Let's build a town over a missile base ! While it would lead to an extremely thorny dilemma of nuke vs. damestration, I feel it is a pity that one cannot choose to nuke Oliver. That's just one reason for why being a walk-the-wasteland fuck is such a lark, you unwitting cunting mook.