Duck and Cover

wrote:ABILITIES

Yes, bilking the gullible and self important $5ish at a time, spiced with the inevitable schadenfreude, has all the trappings of a

BEST OF LUCK

wrote:indie

<strike>NO FUCK YOU, DAD.</strike>

Terribly sorry hoary old bean, but I've recently been helplessly captivated by the marvels contained within the works of the world's most relevant and inspiring bytesmith to even consider throwing my hats into such an undertaking. Amongst other things.

Writing of thinly veiled critiques of modern unculture - Dead Rising 2.5 - Frank > Chuck is highly entertaining. Recommended.

Is it just me, or is Payday: The Bankjobl4dclone a bit shit?

And on all counts, too. Shooting is shit; gameplay is limited (nothing to do but shoot, oh and hold action key to "perform" a plethora of context specific actions, but that's not fucking gameplay, it's just waiting around); enemies are not satisfying to kill and there's a lot of them (like where the fuck did y'all come from? There a police academy next door?); characters are unremarkable; graphics are shit (no gfx options except resolution, either); sound is shit; the heists are extremely linear and you've no input in the planning phase (Really? How the fuck did they come to that decision?); and the absolute fucking worst, you have to grind the missions to get xp to get better equipment. It's basically just L4D, only worse in every department.

Hopefully Monaco will show these cunts how you pull a heist game properly.

What a [fucking] shame.

Edit- I forgot the AI. So did the developers, methinks.

so i'm playing Fallout 2 now. it seems the games i enjoy the most are still pre-Y2K, maybe the computers fucked up somehow after all and now they're only capable of churning out shit games for some reason. i'm still getting kind of used to the fact that i'll probably have to play the same games forever, but it's slowly sinking in, give it another decade or so.

not even a hardcore gamer rant lawl since i'm very much a casual gamer these days. i think i just can't be bothered to spend the little time i have for games on some stupid shit. (but i play mario kart so i guess i'm the utter hypocrite)

I think it's sad that it seems the only playable thing to have been made in 2011 that has retail distribution seems to be Deus Ex. I kind of want to get Battlefield 3, but I know I'll just end up regretting it.

Just finished Fallout NV. Kind of fun, will probably play it again in a month or so. Just started playing Witcher 2, its kinda interesting so far, and I'm not sure if i hate or dislike the Quick Time Events, considering how terrible shit was in the Witcher 1 with regards to boxing, etc.

I always come back to Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (Alien Crossfire). It's like a drug, man, I just can't get off the hook.

Gotta agree with Retlaw, Deus Ex was sweet. Otherwise this year's been pretty shite. Witcher 2 was ok, nothing spectacular. Everything ends in a cliff-hanger so the writers got the easy way out of all the difficult situations: "see you in part III, stay tuned..!" Also the choices & consequences are quite cosmetic, nothing *really* has an impact.

I've been trying Rage right now. It's OK... for a linear-as-fuck first person shooter. You pretty much have a semi-complex (you got inventory and stuff) FPS combined with an arcade racer, since driving vehicles in specific events plays a big part. It has nothing to do with open world experience, though. This game makes Grand Theft Auto look like the deepest RPG experience of the decade.

ok i managed to take over europe and most of the middle east then the fucking mong horde came out of nowhere with super stack armies and fucked up all my shit, didnt even get to jerusalem. this is medieval: totally war by the way sheesh. Im tempted to do another play without being a total dick to everyone on the continent but thats the way the chips usually fall in this game of kings and ice and fire.

Got around to play bf3 yesterday. Not quite sure yet what to think or say about it. Undecided. But the single player campaign sucks donkey cock.
Luckily that's hardly what I got it for.

Mismatch wrote:Got around to play bf3 yesterday. Not quite sure yet what to think or say about it. Undecided. But the single player campaign sucks donkey cock.
Luckily that's hardly what I got it for.

At the end of the day, only hardcore Battlefield fans will stick with it, still fun though, but it won't break the CoD franchise as EA's marketing pushed for. At all.

I never even played the single player nor will I ever if what I hear all over the internet is true; it sucks baby cock.

Hey, Elder TP: Ski-Rimsort available now for yo ARGH-BOX, 10 whole days before launch. But it's those pesky pc pirates that're killing the industry, the miscreants!

The AAA PC piracy delay bought about by <strike>not-so-</strike>recent publisher emphasis upon ultra draconian DRM measures may, in fact, be the only less than awful thing about DRM ; as it is sometimes useful to have loud, simplistic reference points at hand when engaging the loud, simplistic computar pirats ar killn vidyo gamez brigade. Sometimes, the only worthy response is more bullets.

Blargh wrote:the only

Maybe not. If you're feeling particularly corrosive, you could claim that the tears in the faces of the "I-can't-activate-my-copy-of-[insert Ubisoft game]" mob would be a nice touch. It'd serve them right for buying crippled, shitty console ports after waiting for the whole 2-months worth of "We'll not release the pc version now so it won't compete with the console version of the same game, so that we can claim we're justified in treating pc like some sort of subhuman minority", no? Nicer touch still, if it ended in a mass "I-want-me-moneh-back" / "Teh-DRM-spyware-erased-me-hard-drive" class action, resulting in Ubiruptcy. Like I said, if you're feeling corrosive.

Been playing Arkham City which is pretty good but they do that whole "lets not explain the story at all and dump you in", I feel like I missed something but I guess they will explain it later on. Also I find it really hard to do critical strikes, I had the same problem in the original so I end up just doing it old school and punching people with no finesse.

The other game I'm playing is BF3 for PC and Xbox, it seems pretty good and will probably last me awhile maybe. For once the PC version actually seems a lot more polished and better designed except for allowing 64 players on a map that can no way support it so it's impossible for one team to win.

Nothing like having 15 players hanging out around each corner.

Critical strikes are easy, brosef. You just have to adapt. Also, anyone with an xbawks should get Battlestations: Midway and hit me up because I fucking love that shit.

Hell, is there anything out there ATM that's half decent? Going through a drought, it seems.

Can't comment on recent offerings, but Saints Row 2 with the latest beta of the queerly titled Gentlemen of the Row mod is, I have found, a decent placebo while waiting for Saints Row 3, which seems as though it will be amusing, at the very least.

With the new GTA being back in San Andreas I've reinstalled that and have been playing it. Its as fun as I remembered. GTA IV was trying to be too serious, I hope V doesn't try to do that either.

Saints Row III looks fun, though. Absolutely over the top.

Black Ops. Getting pumped for Modurn Warfur 3 midnight launch. Silenced AK47 is both for the lulz and for the win.

A suppressed AK is mechanically impossible unless you rebuild the entire barrel assembly and foregrip.

Which is why it's funny running around with one.