Duck and Cover

DJ Slamák wrote:There's starting to be a bit too much puke, blood, guts and Duntons in this fanfic... is this the end of our heroes?? 8O

Mmm... you seem to be asking that a lot these days. You want them to die or something?
It's not the end, but expect even more puke, blood and guts! No more Duntons! Wooooo!!! :o

But really, what did you think of the latest offering? And please, be honest with me, I can take constructive critisiscm. I take it with the aid of a very heavy baseball bat, but you'll find out about that later. Much later. Like when you're walking down a dark alley alone later. Muhahahahahah!!!

Great! I must admit however that the rumored comic may not be so anticipated at this point

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Keep it up!
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Sykotik wrote:

DJ Slamák wrote:There's starting to be a bit too much puke, blood, guts and Duntons in this fanfic... is this the end of our heroes?? 8O

Mmm... you seem to be asking that a lot these days. You want them to die or something?
It's not the end, but expect even more puke, blood and guts! No more Duntons! Wooooo!!! :o

But really, what did you think of the latest offering? And please, be honest with me, I can take constructive critisiscm. I take it with the aid of a very heavy baseball bat, but you'll find out about that later. Much later. Like when you're walking down a dark alley alone later. Muhahahahahah!!!

Exactly what I said - the intestines and their exposed contents are getting a bit over the top for my taste. We want... um... :looks around nervously: I want more emphasis on your dry, ironic humour and character development!

By the way, if you do start the comic, can I translate it for VotF too?

DJ Slamák wrote:

Sykotik wrote:

DJ Slamák wrote:There's starting to be a bit too much puke, blood, guts and Duntons in this fanfic... is this the end of our heroes?? 8O

Mmm... you seem to be asking that a lot these days. You want them to die or something?
It's not the end, but expect even more puke, blood and guts! No more Duntons! Wooooo!!! :o

But really, what did you think of the latest offering? And please, be honest with me, I can take constructive critisiscm. I take it with the aid of a very heavy baseball bat, but you'll find out about that later. Much later. Like when you're walking down a dark alley alone later. Muhahahahahah!!!

Exactly what I said - the intestines and their exposed contents are getting a bit over the top for my taste. We want... um... :looks around nervously: I want more emphasis on your dry, ironic humour and character development!

By the way, if you do start the comic, can I translate it for VotF too?

Fair enough ^_^
As for the comic translations, go ahead! Once it's started, of course

Heh, good work Sykotik, still as funny as ever. Looking forward to seeing how the comic develops.

Right then. Chapter seven for you Dongo fans out there, straight up. It's actually been done for a week or two - I just didn't have the time yet to post it
Also, this is most likely going to be the last Dongo Weener of this year. I'm writing my exams (starting Monday with Algebra... sigh) up until the 27th, and I'll be damned if I'm not wasted the whole of December. Maybe I'll write another one in time for Christmas - I don't know. The future is all blurry and foggy, probably from all the alcohol. But that's tomorrow morning's worries!

Chapter 7: Moving On or Let's Get The Hell Outta Here

"Ooohhh man... I'm gonna kill that Elder... uhhn... MEDIC!"

Dongo opened his eyes to see Harold scurrying over with the flask the Elder gave them. He could only guess at its contents.

"Ack! D'you want to poison me further?!" Dongo cried.

Harold thrust the flask under Dongo's nose. "It's only water, dillweed."

Sipping the water, Dongo took stock of the situation. They were in a cave, with lots of Biological Gooâ„¢ splattered all over the cave walls. "Where's that fat puking bastard?"

Mr Potato Man grumbled: "He up and left while we were all out. I know because he stepped on me..."

It was a time of planning. As anyone with eyes in their head could (hopefully) see, the trip to Klamath was pretty much wasted and, in general, not a lot of fun. It smelled of undigested drymeat, too. And the elusive plot was still missing. And the Bootyometer was way under normal levels.
Harold directed a stony glare at Dongo. "So where do we go now, oh omnipresent authority figure?"

Dongo matched the glare. The grinding of stone from when stony glares collide could be heard quite audibly. "When did your name change to Jaheira, omnipresent irritation figure?"

Mr Potato Man abruptly ended the discussion. "When did both of you turn into omnipresent ninnys?".

And Dongo said: "Yeah, you're right Spud. We should probably get moving again."

And Harold seemed puzzled. "Who's Spud, Dongo?"

To which Dongo replied: "Why, Spud here!", and he gestured to Spud.
Harold looked at Spud, who was really Mr Potato Man, but wasn't anymore, because Spud (or is that Mr Potato Man?) had reached into the space-time continuum and altered his name, because it's a mouthful to say and a handful to type and an earful to listen to. Mr Potato Man, that is. Or Spud. Or something like that.

So they packed their bags (with what, drymeat? Har har har...), squared their shoulders and marched off into the distance. The distance being from their point of origin to where a very large and angry molerat was prowling. At that point, their vector of motion was rapidly reversed at an acceleration of approximately twice the speed they had entered at.

Stopping for breath in the cave with lots of Biological Goo (patent pending), Dongo wheezed between gasping for breath: "Well, that was close!" And they packed their bags, squared their shoulders and marched off into the distance again. The other distance this time – they're not that retarded.

Meanwhile, a few seconds later in exactly the same galaxy (the same planet, too!), some kind of Anime movie with big stompy bots and funny-looking people was being shot some unknown distance from Dongo. (Hell, I'm an omniscient narrator and I don't even know!) A fine Anime movie it was, with lots of the usual slightly tasteless adult material, as well as seizure-inducing flashing bits. Either that, or a big mutant in power armor was standing around looking threatening (and managing quite nicely, too) whilst being surrounded by scientists. And the occasional nude (or nearly there) lady, hence the slightly tasteless adult material. Hey, even geeks need to have some fun every now and then! As for the flashy bits, well, those neon lights never did sit very well with having bombs thrown at them, did they?

Apparently, the big mutant had a voice, since a sound akin to speech came from somewhere in his general direction, saying the following: "This isn't fun! I want to go home! I want a friend!"

One of the scientists seemed quite stunned by the fact that it spoke. Either that or he didn't like what he was hearing. "No no no! Hank, it shouldn't be fun, you don't have a home, and you don't want a friend – you want to kill everybody!"

Well, the mutant just wanted to make friends, so he thought that if he did as the nice scientists said, they'd all be friends. Oh boy, did that scientist ever have it coming. In fact, any living organism in the room was pretty much endangered. Hell, the walls, ceiling and floor too. Having the sound of miniguns spinning up just before you get riddled by about 100 5mm bullets per second isn't a really fun way to go out, but hey, beggars can't be choosers. Sometimes, non-beggars also can't be choosers. Tough shit, eh?

"Hank, why are you pointing those miniguns at us? Hank, put that thing away! Hank!!!"

Mmmm... I'm going to can the comic project. I'm not going to be able to nicely fit it into the whole Dongo story. Or something like that. It's just not going to happen.

As for the rest of the story, I'm going to concentrate on finishing it off. A year's worth of Dongo work is rather enough for me, I think, so it shall be finished before February. Well, that's the plan, at least.

Till later.
--Syk

Sykotik wrote:Mmmm... I'm going to can the comic project. I'm not going to be able to nicely fit it into the whole Dongo story. Or something like that. It's just not going to happen.

Too bad.

Sykotik then wrote: As for the rest of the story, I'm going to concentrate on finishing it off. A year's worth of Dongo work is rather enough for me, I think, so it shall be finished before February. Well, that's the plan, at least.

Till later.
--Syk

Good luck.

Chapter 8: Plot Sickening or Custard In 5 Seconds
Travelling in The Other Direction is thirsty work, so Dongo and company stopped at the Bar in The Middle of Nowhere, a bar with a reputation for being nowhere in particular all year long.

The inside of the bar was pretty smoky and stank of cheap liquor, like Rotgut. In the corner, a amount of Tragic addicts were playing the obscure game and scaring the other people in the bar. As Dongo's eyes adjusted to the gloom of the bar's interior, he examined the rest of the patrons. In one (vacated) corner of the bar sat an old ghoul, busying himself with a Gamma Gulp Beer and decomposition. Various rough-looking characters, tribals and other wasteland denizens were strewn across the rest of the interior, all busy with their drink, drugs, and every now and then the odd spot of sex.

Finally Dongo sighted the last group of people in the bar, in a gloomy corner at the back of the bar. It was none other than the knights searching for the Holy Hand Grenade, albeit in a bit worse shape than they had been in Klamath. They were still loud, though.

Dongo motioned at the bartender for a large amount of alcohol, and then at his partners in crime to join the knights. As they neared the table, the knights rocked up nice and loud again.

"Greetings sirrah!", and "Bringeth thee ale?". Thou dost knoweth, the usual medievaleth bar bantereth.

As stated, the knights weren't looking all too peachy. The whole bandaged arm, tears in the clothing, "We've just been through a dungeon crawl and back" look. They didn't have any ph47 13w7 though, so Harold got uninterested pretty quick and went off to find something he could drink large amounts of.

"What the hell happened to you guys?", asked our pragmatic protagonist.

Came the answer: "Verily, we didst continueth our search for the Holy Hand Grenade," a chorus of "Yea!", "Verily!", and "More ale!", went round at this point, "when we came upon a gr347 dung30n, filled with ph47 13w7 and 3vi1 m0n574hz, from which we couldst gain m3g4 3xp3ri3nc3!"

Dongo nodded sagely, not paying any attention whatsoever.

"We were busy slayething creatures, when suddenly a gr347 m3ch4nic41 b3457 appeared and nearly destroyethed us! Here, I'll mark it on your map."

Dongo looked up blankly. "My map?"

The knights looked at each other. "You mean this isn't D&D?"

Dongo shook his head slowly.

One of the knights turned to the other. "Great going, dimwit! I told you so, but noooo, we're in dwarven country!", and the knights disappeared in a fizzle of blue light and a bad smell.

Spud opened his eyes and removed himself from a painful looking yoga position. "Now that's taken care of that nuisance. Now, what do we do now, Dongo?"

Dongo began pondering. He pondered for a record 30 seconds. "Um... we go-"

Spud interrupted him: "No, Dongo, we do not go get laid."

"Oh. Ummm...", an interval of silence followed, "Ummm... Spud, is this a trick question?"

Spud sighed and resumed the painful looking yoga position, and touched the space-time continuum a bit.

Realisation dawned in Dongo's eyes for the first time in... well... Realisation dawned in Dongo's eyes for the first time. "We go to the evil dungeon those armoured guys told us about and uh... we uh... we... we go look for booty! Yeah! That's it! Hey, more beer needed here!"

Spud sighed. Even a radiated potato master of the space-time continuum couldn't have everything all the time. In little ways like that Mrs. Continuum was a bit of a bitch.

Interlude
"Flop flop," said the sperm whale. The petunia maintained a stony silence.

"Flop flop!" said the sperm whale, with a bit more emphasis. The petunia maintained a stony silence.

"FLOP FLOP!" shouted the sperm whale, losing its temper. The petunia turned its back on the sperm whale. The sperm whale then bashed the petunia out of existence with its tail, and shortly thereafter became a splatter on the face of the planet. And thus began the enmity between sperm whales and petunias, which lasts to this very day.

Heheheh I'm an idgit and forgot to post chapter 9. Oops?

Chapter 9: Sex & Violence or Interior Decorating Mistakes

Amidst the bloody mist of the aftermath of the sperm whale's collision, Dongo stumbled around a bit, thinking that he should've had a lot more to drink the morning.

The Bar In The Middle of Nowhere was now indeed in the middle of nowhere. Largely owing to the fact that it had been vaporised by a large sperm whale. Miraculously, Dongo and company were the only survivors. Things were looking ominously Hollywood.

Looking around, he located Spud levitating a couple of feet above the ground, sporting a potplant head accessory.

"I have been enlightened by the Peaceful Petunia. I am one with the universe and sooo hate the sperm whale."

Dongo looked at Harold, who had emerged from underneath a slab of cracked concrete. Harold, who had emerged from underneath a slab of cracked concrete looked at Dongo. They exchanged glances. They shared meaningful looks.

"Ms. Continuum's gonna get even more bitchy than she already is if you try that shit, cowboy," interjected Spud.

Dongo and Harold shrugged, and the trio set off once again to find the dungeon of ph47 13w7.

After long, sweaty (and manly) hours of trekking across the barren wastes, Dongo wandered straight into a big metal door built into the cliff face, after letting his thoughts out of the playpool to go wander in the other direction.

After checking the integrity of his facial bone structure, they examined the door. It was big. It was round. It was in the mountain. And it had a big "69" painted over it.

Dongo looked at Harold. "You know that stuff about the Vaults that were supposedly some kind of social experiment?"

Harold nodded. "Yup."

"Well... this is Vault 69. Don't you think that maybe..."

"Either that or its the Golden Globes Porn Studio's idea of an expensive set."

"Point taken. Either way it should be fun."

And thus they fiddled with the door controls, got shocked a few times, and finally opened the door. Naturally, they stepped inside.

And were greeted by a scene of obscene, gory carnage. The whole blood-splattered-on-the-walls, brains-hanging-from-the-tube-lights, gore-dripping-from-the-air-vents shebang.

"You just about ready to revise that theory of yours, Dongo?", asked Harold.

"I'm about ready to revise my stomach contents."

Spuddius say: "Potato with no stomach not vomit."

Harold looked at Dongo. "I think we've unleashed the world's first spiritually enlightened potato. You do realise that this is all your fault?"

"My fault?!"

"You're the one who's off dashing around the wastes to go find your purpose in life. Whatever that may be... I don't really think I want to find out. I'm just in this for the ladies and the booze. Not in that specific order, mind you. And you're the one who can't catch a potato when you're standing over a radioactive pool of toxic sludge."
"Sports was never my strong point."

"Anything other than lying prostrate on the ground wasn't ever your strong point, Dongo."

Suddenly (How else? Drama!) a voice boomed out. Well, echoed. Okay, it kind of whined: "Ahh! How delightful! Visitors! If I wasn't so depressed we could have balloons and women! I killed them all, though, so I'm fresh out. You're welcome to help yourself to any organs you might find lying around though."

Dongo quickly reminded himself what he ate that morning in a corner of the chamber, while Harold looked for a light switch to see who this sick-minded person was.

A flick, and the chamber was flooded with white neon light, causing the wet pulpy mass of gore strewn about to cast hellish reflections off the big suit of power armour sitting on a computer terminal at the end of the chamber. The big suit of power armour had an equally big mutant in it.

"Now, whatever shall we talk about?", asked the mutant, and the entrance door slammed shut.
"Dongo, once again ? you do realise this is all your fault, don't you?"

Chapter 10: Hanky Panky or Chapter The Conclusion

Welcome to the next exciting episode of Dongoball W! If you bothered watching the last predictable episode with lots of flashy special effects and hard rock music, you'd know that our heroic heros were in deep shit! And not any kind of deep shit! They were in deep smelly brahmin shit!

When we last left them, Dongo was about ready to write (and pass) an exam about what he had eaten that day, Harold was thoroughly blaming Dongo for Life, The Universe and Everything Else, and Spud was hovering about, muttering Oriental-sounding bull.

And, in the other corner, we had Hank Forrigan ? bad-ass mutant with suicidal/homicidal tendencies! Weighing in at... well, every scale they put him on had broken... but anyway! He's a whole lot of pounds of pure super-armour steel! And gun metal! And a lot of 5mm ammunition!

Whatever will happen in this fantastic conclusion to Dongo Weener's tale, a story of epic proportions and superb character development? (So I'm a liar, okay?) Stay tuned to find out ? in today's thrilling episode of... Dongoball W!!!

Round 1: The Foreplay
"I'm figuring... and this is just hypothetically speaking, you know? But I'm thinking that if I would have a mid-life crisis, this would probably be it."

"What? Locked in Vault 69 with a huge maniac of a super-mutant, surrounded by gory carnage?"

"That's the one."

"Okay. You forgot something, though..."

"Oh?"

"You're responsible for all of this."

"I'm going to hit you."

If you were anything like Hank Forrigan, you'd be getting pretty pissed off at this Dongo/Harold bitchfest. That means you probably enjoy depression and carnage as well, but let's not dwell from the point here, hmm?

In any event, Hank spinned off a couple of rounds into the ceiling, bringing down a tube light and a liver in the same fluid motion.
"Silence! I demand that you pay attention to me!"

Dongo looked at Harold. "He's such an attention whore, isn't he?"

Later on in his life, Dongo wrote a book titled 101 Things Not To Say In The Presence of A Manical Mutant. That particular saying was pretty much number one on the list. All said and done, Hank didn't like that remark very much. (And the book didn't sell well... it didn't sell at all. Jinxed people. Gotta laugh at 'em.)

"Raaaa!", went the mutant and blazed a trail of destruction throughout the chamber. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on your opinion on this story), our three amazing adventurers had escaped into one of the passages leading deep within the bowels of the Vault.

Round 2: Back Passage Action
Dongo called for a stop by collapsing against a pipe running down the wall. Between gasps for breaths, he asked: "D'you think he's still after us?"

Before Harold could think up some insult veiled as an answer, they heard a scream of primal rage and the crashing of concrete.

The obvious course of action was of course to run. So they did. Until Dongo wussed out again, leaning against a door.

"Let's go in here. Maybe he'll pass us by."

For once, the other two did something that Dongo suggested and slipped through the door after him.

As the door closed behind them, Harold located the light switch and flicked it on.

"Hey! Cool! A projector!", exclaimed Dongo and hustled on over to the stock equipment of any home-video maker or porn conneiseur.
Seconds later, another exclamation passed Dongo's lips. "Hey! Cool! Some videos!"

Yet another few seconds later, a gasp of pleasure escaped Dongo's cranium. "Oh my... This is top-rated porn! Vault Sexteen, Good Will Humping, Pokeahotass..."

"Yes, I'm rather proud of my collection. Let's have a looksee at them, hmmm?", said Hank, who had entered the room unseen in the excitement over Dongo's discovery.

"Oh yes, could we?", asked Dongo eagerly.

And so the four friends settled down and began watching Vault Sexteen, making lewd remarks about the porn stars. After several minutes of this, they realised that something was missing. Namely, Hank throwing a temper fit and trying to kill them all.

"Oh. Of course. I'm so sorry. My bad.", offered Hank as an apology. Then he began shooting the ceiling out as a replacement to saying "I am angry. You are meat."

Naturally, Dongo and company ran again.

Round 3: Vatty Voods
They stopped again, but not because of Dongo wussing out, but because of the chamber they had entered. Big and roomy and dirty and... green.
Several big vats filled with a greenish liquid were scattered around the chamber. The liquid was all fizzly and radioactive. It didn't look like anything the three of them would drink, and that's saying a lot.

"Wowee...", whispered Dongo in awe, "What in the name of all that is post-apocylaptic is this?"

"A big room with vats containing green stuff. I'm just guessing here, though," replied our neighbourhood wise-ass iguana.

A door slid open at the other end of the chamber, revealing Hank's ugly bulk stepping into the chamber. For once, not waving his guns around and shooting random things.

"This is where I was created, my unworthy foes! Dunked in each and every one of these vats until I became the supreme sex-crazed genetical horror you see before you now."

He paused for a moment, considering what he had just said.

"Yes, that's perfectly right! Supreme sex-crazed genetical horror! Muhahah! Bow down before your master!"

Dongo leaned over to Harold and Spud. "Who here besides me thinks he's got some really bad gay tendencies?"

Hank bashed a minigun against a wall pipe. "Silence! I am now going to tell you my grand plan! Listen!"

Clearing his throat, Hank continued: "I shall create an army of mutants like me, and take over the world! And I shall rename myself! I will be known as... the Overlord! So, what do you guys think?"

Dongo rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, Hank. That's sooo last year. Mutant armies aren't cool anymore. Everybody's jumping on the psychological warfare bandwagon nowadays. You know, subliminal messaging, brainwave modification, head trauma infliction, that kinda thing."

Harold continued: "And the Overlord? Come on Hank. Use some imagination. That sounds so like the Master, and look what became of him!"

Hank's face fell a couple of miles, busting open some rocks. "Hey, you guys really think so?"

Dongo, Harold and Spud nodded solemnly.

Hank brightened up suddenly. "Well, luckily for me, mutant intelligence only goes so far! And right know it's telling me to kill kill kill!"

And then he started shooting at them again. They started running again.

Final Round: Short Circuit, Long Circuit ? You Decide
When we last left Dongo and Co., they were busy doing the running thing. They didn't care where they were running to, as long as it was the other way that Hank was.

Which brought them to the final destination in the vault: the power core. Big zappy electriconics and blinking consoles. And dirty porn magazines from either Hank or the previous occupants of the vault.
At the end of the room was a big console with big, round, inviting buttons, just screaming: "Push me! Push me!"

Dongo, of course, was instantaneously attracted to the console and headed on over to it, even ignoring the porn magazines.

"Dongo... don't you think that could be dangerous?"

"What? No. Not at all, no."

His eyes glazed over as he looked at the buttons marked with big words such as 'Master Station', 'Bypass Safety Checks' and 'Yougottabemadtopushthis'.

Predictably, Hank's bulk filled the doorway again. "What do you think you're doing?! Get away from there!"

He punctuated that statement with a round of bullets, cracking the console a bit and exposing some of the electronical innards.

Panicking, Dongo pressed a random button. Hank gasped. Harold began looking around for shelter, and Spud initiated the Getta-Hell-Outta-Here teleportation ritual.

From deep within the bowels of the vault's machinery, a clanking sound emanated from the pipes, causing any loose objects to shudder in fear of what was to come. Just when Dongo thought his ears would burst, a vent popped open and a Nuka-Cola landed in his hands.

"Enjoy!", said the vault computer cheerfully.

Dongo looked bemused at the bottle in his hands, then looked up at the others. Hank had begun laughing, and was sure to blast the hell out of them when he was done. Looking back down at the bottle, he decided "To hell with it", and opened it.

Now, during the clanking and clunking through the vault vending system, it had become pretty shaken up. Opening it, resulted in a spectacular spray of Nuka-Cola, most of which landed on the exposed circuitry of the console.

As luck would have it... well, really now, let's not fool ourselves. As Dongo's jinxedness would have it, it caused several short circuits, resulting in a major bypass of every safety feature known to vault technicians, and a couple more that had come in by accident. The result isn't nice, as the vault computer informed them.

"Guess what, folks? You screwed up! Power core implosion imminent. Have a nice time dying!"

Hank readied his miniguns, raised the barrels and pointed it at the trio. "Goodbye, then. Nice not knowing you."

He pulled the trigger, and a dull click emanated from the miniguns works. "Out of ammo?"

Dongo, Harold and Spud took the chance the mutant's confusion gave them and dashed past him, back into the vault. Pursuit was rapidly given (gift-wrapped in shiny metal armour!).

To cut a long and boring vault chase short, they ended up back at the entrance of the vault, where the entry door was still sealed tighter than the Vault Dweller's suit fits on female player characters.

Having discarded the empty miniguns and opting instead for the energized Blade Thingy, Hank grinned like the fool he entirely was. "Where to now, foolish humans?"

At that moment, Zappy the power core decided to spoil the mutant bastard's fun and imploded. Which actually caused a big explosion, but let's not get technical, okay?

In any event, the shockwave rumbled up through Hank's power armour, pulverising and slicing and dicing all the way through. Not for use as blending device, though. Except if you like seriously radiated foodstuffs.

As Hank fell apart, the shockwave kept on rumbling towards the terrified three, Spud regained enough presence of mind to call on his Petunia Powers.

The sacred Petunia Power ritual that Spud invoked went something along the lines of this: "Ohgodwe'reindeepshitneedhelprightnowplease!"

After a nanosecond of deliberation, the Petunia Party (big-assed holy petunia's who sit around in Petunhalla all day and drink completely silly amounts of beer) plopped a big whale who had been pissing them off for a long time in front of Dongo, Harold and Spud.

A nanosecond later, the shockwave hit the whale, obliterating it and spewing giblets of whalemeat all over the chamber wall. The implosion then decided tgat it had enough fun for the day and stopped acting like a destructive bastard.

And thus, after a really big amount of destruction, mayhem, madness and cheap sex, the chamber, for once, was silent.

Until Dongo broke the silence by hurling a good amount of swallowed whale meat from underneath the gooey mass he was buried beneath. Harold and Spud quickly followed suit.

"Well, Dongo. At least you not being able to catch potatoes kept us from dying."

Dongo stood astride a section of whalebone and proclaimed loudly: "I have found my purpose in life! To destroy Hank, the biggest menace next to Dennis! I feel on top of the world! Dongo Weener and friends, able to face any odds!"

On completion of that statement, the entrance door was largely removed via a great amount of explosives and a well-muscled figure with a military storehouse strapped to his back leapt into the chamber.

Looking as if he was about ready to pop a vein, The Picked Guy pointed a very angry finger at Dongo. "You! Where the in the name of hell is my Chrysalis Highwayman?!"

Spud sighed and shook his head the way enlightened ones usually do when faced with bumbling idiots like Dongo who think they're enlightened, but couldn't screw in a light bulb when someone else does it for them.

As for Harold, he glared at Dongo in the time-honoured tradition. "You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you?"

As for Dongo, he looked up at the sky, up at his deity of choice, up at Mrs. Continuum, and asked them the Final Question: "You just had to go and choose that odd, now didn't you?"

END

Okay, this time it's really the end. Chapter 9 is included this time (yay!). If anymore chapters are missing I'll agree to being a titfaced-whore. (Please let there not be any chapters missing :D)

Soooo......... thanks for the comments, encouragement and all the fish! Thanks to DJ Slam who is a really great guy and has Dongo in Czech on VOTF! (It's feels really wierd when I go look at it ^_^)

And thanks for DAC admins who put up the Fan-Fic forums and keeps the site alive! W00h00!

Great stuff! This is easily among the best fanfics I've ever read, and although that's not saying much, Dongo Weener really is quite good.

Ok, so it's the end of the Dongo storyline, but please don't tell me you're gonna stop writing for good. Please? Cause this is the most entertaining shit I've read since Mr Dildo.

And I thought chapter 6 had too much bodily products in it. 8O :)

Beautiful twist(ed) ending, Syke. Nice return of the Picked Guy. But translating those porn titles is gonna be a major pain in the ass. :twisted:

Weirdest shit i've read since .... well since clifford the big red dog, indepth critique on the way and keep up the writing we need more people to write in here,

/me goes off to finish a story

:whisper:
Rumour has it there might be more coming... soon...
:shifty glance:
...but you didn't hear that from me...

Er.... maaaaaaan? A second series?!

Are you sure you want to do this? Sequels are rarely as good as the originals... But if it means a return to the traditional Dongo values, bring it on!

(I still struggle to translate chapter 9.)

Man, I'm really getting flak about this from all four corners of the world.

But I'll write at it a bit, see how it goes; compare it to Dongo and either can it or post it.

I'm just feeling out the audience reaction... so far it's pretty much "you're gonna fuck it up"

Oh whelp. We'll see.

Sykotik wrote:I'm just feeling out the audience reaction... so far it's pretty much "you're gonna fuck it up".

Ah, there's no need to take that personally. People have just taken a lesson from Star Wars, trek, the Matrix...