Random

Tayl · Post by **Tayl** » Tue Mar 02, 2004 6:54 pm

My girlfriend grew up in a family that was pretty repressive when it came to sex. So I was just patient and worked my magic and 9 months later I got into her pants.

It was like unlocking freaking pandora's box. She wants it more than I do now. I can barely keep up.

S4ur0n27 · Post by **S4ur0n27** » Thu Mar 04, 2004 7:30 pm

You released every disasters of the world on the world?

celluloid love · Post by **celluloid love** » Sat Mar 06, 2004 1:58 am

CloudNineGT wrote:Being gay is no reason to have never been kissed. Maybe Celluloid can hook up with some sympathetic man friends. Dont mind the stubble!

I'm not gay. I'm just not a chauvinist asshole.

ExtremeDrinker · Post by **ExtremeDrinker** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 5:26 pm

I didn't get my first real kiss till I was a senior in High School. By real, I mean some tongue action, groping, and a few moans. I'd kissed people before, but I don't count polite pecks on the lips as a real kiss.

High School girls are a waste of time when you're in high school. They only want to date older guys, so if they give you the time of day, it's because they're in some weird "I'm never going to find the right older man to marry, so I'm going to settle for you" mode. If you get in one of those relationships, get out as soon as possible and find an older woman.

Seriously...The best advice I can give anyone under the age of 21 is to date women in their 30's. They're hitting their sexual peak, and you're hitting yours. They don't want you to father their kids, because their kids are just a little younger than you. These women only want your sweet man-chowder flowing freely across their bodies.

They don't even have to be good looking. Any self-respecting 35 year old will fuck a teen/early 20's brains out. Married? No problem...Find them in at a bar walking to their vehicle, ask for a ride, and you can rest assured you're going to a hotel. Just lie to them "Yeah, baby...I love 80's hair. Those leg-warmers are fucking sexy" Best sex you'll ever have, and you can go back for more any time.

Once you hit 22/23...Time to find a younger model. This is where the high school girls come in. Find a nice 18 year old senior in high school. They're naturally attracted to older men, such as yourself, and the age difference isn't so severe as their parents will flip out. The sex will be wonderful because you've been trained by women with 15 more years experience than the prude little high schooler you've got now.

Make sure you really like this girl before giving her the ole' in-out...You've gotta dig her personality, you've gotta think she's sexy...You've really gotta want a long-term relationship with this one...Because once you give her the greatest orgasm she's ever had, she will never leave you. And if she does, she'll be back within the hour to appologize.

And this is the solution to all male's problems.

S4ur0n27 · Post by **S4ur0n27** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 7:35 pm

ExtremeDrinker wrote:Stuff

And this is the solution to all male's problems.

Uh, no, you forgot girls have to pass through the 20s, and that's tought.
And you forgot when she gets to the 30s, she'll look for younger men! Eww, we're all fucked.

ExtremeDrinker · Post by **ExtremeDrinker** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 7:42 pm

Yeah, but by the time she's in her 30's, we'll be ready to trade her in for a younger model, also.

Except this time, we'll have to find a college girl and convince her we're seriously sophisticated and are in-tune with her needs. Not only will we have years of deviant sexual experiences behind us, and training from expert 35 year old women, but we will also have our own personal insight into what makes a woman tick, and be able to talk our way into a college girl's pants like a bible in a motel nightstand.

Then again, I've got no trouble talking my way into most women's pants...Older, younger, or my age...It's all about "teh funny."....

Radscorpin · Post by **Radscorpin** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 7:57 pm

I didn't get laid till I was a Junior In high school and the was with my manager at Wendy's. She was 28 and I was 17

. After that it was like the doors to sex just opened up. Now I am engaged and never get laid!
Never put a ring on a womens finnger. That's a sure fire way to end your sex life...with her that is....still got my hand

ExtremeDrinker · Post by **ExtremeDrinker** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 8:11 pm

I was engaged once. To my "high school sweetheart." What a mistake. I ended that my first year at college, and I've been happily bouncing between women ages 18 to 40 for the past 5 years.

Now I've hit the 23 year mark, and I'm with a 19 year old..Been with her for well over a year, and we've made it plain to each other that being married..or at least getting engaged is a sham. We have lots of fun all the time.

And yes: I gave her her first orgasm (when she was an 18 year old senior in high school). I pwned that ass then, and I pwn it every night. Giggita giggita!

I've never been happier..She's sexy, intelligent, and she's even got a great personality..My method works.

Phias · Post by **Phias** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 8:12 pm

I'll wait until I leave school to do anything like that, so I'll have more time to do things with other people. I can't do everything at once, causes confusion...

Radscorpin · Post by **Radscorpin** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 8:19 pm

Just heed my warning...ohhh, poor me

Phias · Post by **Phias** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 8:23 pm

Just feel comfort in the knowledge that billions of other people have experienced the same feelings you have, and come out rather untouched and happy, as if a great weight has been lifted.

You can't expect everything to go perfectly, not least of these is an intimate relationship. Things fall apart, people argue and discover who they really are through tough times. It's what makes us human, and you should cherish the fact that, even if for a short while you enjoyed love, you had it at all, and you were once happy.

God Damn, I'm getting fucking xen...

Radscorpin · Post by **Radscorpin** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 8:45 pm

You are quite zen....I feel at peace and one with the universe

Slave_Master · Post by **Slave_Master** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 9:13 pm

Speaking of sex and randomness, check out my sig, niggaz.

As to the actual topic at hand, love itself is kind of a sham? It serves a biological purpose, but other than that who cares? It's worthless.

Oh shit, now I'm sounding like Neon Dingo. Next thing I know I'll be fucking everything with an XY chromosome.

Phias · Post by **Phias** » Mon Mar 08, 2004 9:21 pm

Some people place more value on their emotions and the emotions of others than is normal or healthy.

It's the human mind trying to convince "itself" that people have a greater purpose in the world and that love isn't just a chemical reaction.

Then reality sets in, sweet reality.

S4ur0n27 · Post by **S4ur0n27** » Tue Mar 09, 2004 2:08 pm

Slave_Master wrote:Speaking of sex and randomness, check out my sig, niggaz.

As to the actual topic at hand, love itself is kind of a sham? It serves a biological purpose, but other than that who cares? It's worthless.

Oh shit, now I'm sounding like Neon Dingo. Next thing I know I'll be fucking everything with an XY chromosome.

I feel the nihilist/angsty teens debate coming.

Slave_Master · Post by **Slave_Master** » Tue Mar 09, 2004 6:20 pm

It wouldn't be much of a debate, really. What I said is based on what I've read about evolutionary psychology. What Neon Dingo says is based on what Nine Inch Nails/Marilyn Manson/Linkin Park song he's listening to at the moment.

Phias · Post by **Phias** » Tue Mar 09, 2004 7:50 pm

BTW Slave_Master, what's going on at NMA? Sounds like there's some animosity between you and their forums.

Slave_Master · Post by **Slave_Master** » Tue Mar 09, 2004 8:34 pm

Phias wrote:BTW Slave_Master, what's going on at NMA? Sounds like there's some animosity between you and their forums.

link pls

Phias · Post by **Phias** » Tue Mar 09, 2004 8:36 pm

Nothing up then, I guess your sig confused me... I can't access the NMA forums from this place, so I asked if anything was going on at NMA.

Slave_Master · Post by **Slave_Master** » Tue Mar 09, 2004 8:39 pm

Oh.

Basically they're just all fascist swell guy. You'd really need to see the thread in question.