Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2004 5:01 pm
Goddamn it, how can anyone reading that much of Janus without bleeding from the eyes 
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Chronicles of Stupid
Page 2 of 3
UPDATE!!!
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 3:54 am
Ok I am just going to roll off 4 B. into part 5 it will be out on friday hopefully. So have fun until then.
Re: UPDATE!!!
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 4:07 am
I think you should roll "4 B" off into an abyss so none of us have to read that shit.Janus Matchell wrote:Ok I am just going to roll off 4 B. into part 5 it will be out on friday hopefully. So have fun until then.
Also, if it takes you five days to write something of such low quality, I have a feeling your college career is going to crash and burn like the <i>Hindenburg</i>.
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 6:30 am
zing
Re: UPDATE!!!
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 7:34 am
First off between work, band, school I have little time to translate my god awful handwriting so that I can type here also I have to condense and cut alot of stuff out of CoS. I am not making you read this so please remember that if you choose to keep reading.Retlaw83 wrote:I think you should roll "4 B" off into an abyss so none of us have to read that shit.Janus Matchell wrote:Ok I am just going to roll off 4 B. into part 5 it will be out on friday hopefully. So have fun until then.
Also, if it takes you five days to write something of such low quality, I have a feeling your college career is going to crash and burn like the <i>Hindenburg</i>.
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:23 pm
He's so hawt, he has a girlfriend!
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 9:32 pm
Janus is cruel to animals too, it seems ? 
Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 1:39 am
If we're animals, yes.
Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2004 10:55 am
Well actually, I was referring to Janus' 'friend'. Though I suppose it could be said that we are all animals, some more so than most.
Chronicles of Stupid: Part 4b. and 5
Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 9:24 am
Note this is a continuation of Part 3 in the Chronicles of Stupid.
Characters depicted here are all male.
Old Characters:Alvin(betrayed tribal), Totz(scout), Ok(stupid tribal), Shanti (pitfighting sellout asshole traitor) Warning there may be harsh language.
Not even five minutes later. Alvin had managed to botch his sneak check by tring to run past Slavers entering the back of the Wa Mar. Alvin blazed right past and at first they were like what the fuck then upon realizing that they spent the better part of thirty minutes trying to caprture him in the first place went after Alvin. They managed to lose him again on account of being bumbling stupid henchmen of Lawrence. Alvin was cornered in an alleyway littered with burnt out barrels and trash so the only he could do was hide and hide was what he did (with a critical in his sneak check he was cloaked like a bird of prey). So underneath a pile chicken screen and sheet metal he hid. He watched as the two slavers passed by without checking the alleyway where he was hiding. Alvin moved out from underneath the pile of garbage and moved toward the edge of the alleyway, he peeked around the corner and saw the two slavers talking to another slaver. Alvin then readied his deringer and picked up an empty nuka cola bottle, he threw the bottle at the nearest slaver. It hit and shattered on the back of his head. The slaver was knocked clean unconcious. The other two slavers readied their shotguns and moved on the alleyway at first theysaw nothing but Alvin was quick enough to move behind them and pointing the little two shot deringer at the back of one of the slavers heads. He pulled the trigger and blew the first slavers brains out. The other slaver turned around and fired the shotgun blindly missing Alvin entirely. Alvin discarded the derringer and tackled the slaver with his straight razor in hand. The slaver said, "You cheap tribal fuck! I fucking kill you!" Alvin headbutted him and broke his nose. The slaver yelped in pain. Alvin punched the slaver in the throat and stabbed the straight razor into his eye. The slaver was blinded, choking and all sorts of fucked as Alvin got to his feet, picked up the slavers shotgun and blew his face off.
Ok, Totz, and Shanti heard more gunfire coming from the back of Wa Mar again. Ok said, "What going on?" To which Shanti replied, "Man just shut the fuck up! It doesn't matter what's going on because were still screwed anyways." After Totz rolled a perception,criticaled and interrupted Shanti and said, "Look at bent bars they bent and me and you might be able to get out through if we bend them." Shanti went from being a jerk to being an asshole and said, " Well no shit you stupid tribal. I was just testing you to see how smart you really are. And you didn't pass. And that means you should shut the fuck up!" Shanti then moved over to the bars and used his massive 9 Str to pull the bars to the cage apart more and proceeded in escaping. Ok and Totz as well the rest of the slaves in the cage followed in the great escape.
Alvin was locked and loaded he had three shotguns (1 five shot remington, and 2 double barreled sawed offs as well as 27 shotgun shells to boot.) He moved back into Wa Mar and upon entering one slaver holding a 10mm pistol came running up to him yelling, "Put those shotguns down now!" To which Alvin responded with BOOM! As both barrels from one of the double barreled shotgun went boomity boom boom to the poor slavers upper torso the results were the equivalent of spaghetti mixed with bones and leather armor. Alvin collected the 10mm pistol and proceeded onward to revenge. He moved in behind some crates and was moving silently through the warehouse while avoiding the other guards. He noticed a stairwell leading down and decided that it would be an easier way to get away from the guards on his tail. He entered the stairwell caustiously and checked to see if there was any presence of slavers. Upon realizing that he was safe for the moment he began to move down the stairs. There was only one set of stair and then an huge metal door that had no peephole. After almost jamming the lock on the door he managed to unlock it. He opened door and saw a treasure trove of goods there was canned food, first sid supplies, guns of all kinds, ammo, and a few suits of well crafted metal armor. He was in heaven and if he could read then maybe he would have been able to realize that he was in Lawrence's vault of goodies. It was so well hidden that Lawrence's employee's wouldn't try to steal his vast fortune of a life time of stealing from others. Alvin suited up in a set of metal armor found strap for his shotguns and took 3 hand grenades that he found in a box along with some shotguns shells (18). He was now armed to the teeth and ready to exact revenge on his fellow tribesman.
Shanti, Totz and Ok and the rest of the slaves with them charged one guards and ripped him to pieces with their barehands. Ok took the guards 10mm pistol, Shanti took the brass knuckles and Totz took the knife. The rest of the slaves began assaulting the slaves and after ten more dead slavers and eight dead slaves. Everyone in their group of slaves were armed with some manner of bladed object and/or firearm. They saw a group of metal armor wearing guards carrying riot shields and assault shotguns. The slaves started firing and when their guns ran dry the slavers went to town on the firing two barrages of 12 gauge deathness into the crowd. All the slaves except for Shanti, Totz and Ok were cut down instantly.
Alvin left the storage room and went back into the main part of Wa Mar. He saw the slavers in metal armor shooting down the slaves like fish in a barrel. He pulled a hand grenade off of it's bandolier and threw it like a professional baseball player into the group of shield bearing slavers. About three seconds later KABOOM!!! the slavers were thrown like ragdolls in a tornado. The initial explosion killed one slaver. The others were mildly injured and confused as to what just happened. Alvin ran up to one of the slavers and shot him in the head with his 10mm pistol. The other slavers were too confused to notice that one their own had been shot like a whore receiving a facial.
Ok and Totz had saw the explosion and thought of it as a sign from their gods that hey indeed been spared. Shanti on the otherhand just looked at them like they were indeed dumber and crazier than he perceived them before the explosion. A loud voice of an asshole sounded from above in Wa Mar's PA system, "BEND OVER AND TOUCH YOUR TOES I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE THE MONGOOSE GOES!" Ok and Totz trembled in fear as this voice boomed from no where. Indeed there gods weren't present but in all realities it was Charles in the office who had triggered the release mechanism on the Deathclaw Cage. The creatures however was indeed Mongoose a term of endearment that Lawrence had given his monster for winning him so many death pit fights. The entire party could hear the rumblings of something very big now entering Wa Mar. This was only the beginning of the end.
So concludes CoS part 4b. and 5
Characters depicted here are all male.
Old Characters:Alvin(betrayed tribal), Totz(scout), Ok(stupid tribal), Shanti (pitfighting sellout asshole traitor) Warning there may be harsh language.
Not even five minutes later. Alvin had managed to botch his sneak check by tring to run past Slavers entering the back of the Wa Mar. Alvin blazed right past and at first they were like what the fuck then upon realizing that they spent the better part of thirty minutes trying to caprture him in the first place went after Alvin. They managed to lose him again on account of being bumbling stupid henchmen of Lawrence. Alvin was cornered in an alleyway littered with burnt out barrels and trash so the only he could do was hide and hide was what he did (with a critical in his sneak check he was cloaked like a bird of prey). So underneath a pile chicken screen and sheet metal he hid. He watched as the two slavers passed by without checking the alleyway where he was hiding. Alvin moved out from underneath the pile of garbage and moved toward the edge of the alleyway, he peeked around the corner and saw the two slavers talking to another slaver. Alvin then readied his deringer and picked up an empty nuka cola bottle, he threw the bottle at the nearest slaver. It hit and shattered on the back of his head. The slaver was knocked clean unconcious. The other two slavers readied their shotguns and moved on the alleyway at first theysaw nothing but Alvin was quick enough to move behind them and pointing the little two shot deringer at the back of one of the slavers heads. He pulled the trigger and blew the first slavers brains out. The other slaver turned around and fired the shotgun blindly missing Alvin entirely. Alvin discarded the derringer and tackled the slaver with his straight razor in hand. The slaver said, "You cheap tribal fuck! I fucking kill you!" Alvin headbutted him and broke his nose. The slaver yelped in pain. Alvin punched the slaver in the throat and stabbed the straight razor into his eye. The slaver was blinded, choking and all sorts of fucked as Alvin got to his feet, picked up the slavers shotgun and blew his face off.
Ok, Totz, and Shanti heard more gunfire coming from the back of Wa Mar again. Ok said, "What going on?" To which Shanti replied, "Man just shut the fuck up! It doesn't matter what's going on because were still screwed anyways." After Totz rolled a perception,criticaled and interrupted Shanti and said, "Look at bent bars they bent and me and you might be able to get out through if we bend them." Shanti went from being a jerk to being an asshole and said, " Well no shit you stupid tribal. I was just testing you to see how smart you really are. And you didn't pass. And that means you should shut the fuck up!" Shanti then moved over to the bars and used his massive 9 Str to pull the bars to the cage apart more and proceeded in escaping. Ok and Totz as well the rest of the slaves in the cage followed in the great escape.
Alvin was locked and loaded he had three shotguns (1 five shot remington, and 2 double barreled sawed offs as well as 27 shotgun shells to boot.) He moved back into Wa Mar and upon entering one slaver holding a 10mm pistol came running up to him yelling, "Put those shotguns down now!" To which Alvin responded with BOOM! As both barrels from one of the double barreled shotgun went boomity boom boom to the poor slavers upper torso the results were the equivalent of spaghetti mixed with bones and leather armor. Alvin collected the 10mm pistol and proceeded onward to revenge. He moved in behind some crates and was moving silently through the warehouse while avoiding the other guards. He noticed a stairwell leading down and decided that it would be an easier way to get away from the guards on his tail. He entered the stairwell caustiously and checked to see if there was any presence of slavers. Upon realizing that he was safe for the moment he began to move down the stairs. There was only one set of stair and then an huge metal door that had no peephole. After almost jamming the lock on the door he managed to unlock it. He opened door and saw a treasure trove of goods there was canned food, first sid supplies, guns of all kinds, ammo, and a few suits of well crafted metal armor. He was in heaven and if he could read then maybe he would have been able to realize that he was in Lawrence's vault of goodies. It was so well hidden that Lawrence's employee's wouldn't try to steal his vast fortune of a life time of stealing from others. Alvin suited up in a set of metal armor found strap for his shotguns and took 3 hand grenades that he found in a box along with some shotguns shells (18). He was now armed to the teeth and ready to exact revenge on his fellow tribesman.
Shanti, Totz and Ok and the rest of the slaves with them charged one guards and ripped him to pieces with their barehands. Ok took the guards 10mm pistol, Shanti took the brass knuckles and Totz took the knife. The rest of the slaves began assaulting the slaves and after ten more dead slavers and eight dead slaves. Everyone in their group of slaves were armed with some manner of bladed object and/or firearm. They saw a group of metal armor wearing guards carrying riot shields and assault shotguns. The slaves started firing and when their guns ran dry the slavers went to town on the firing two barrages of 12 gauge deathness into the crowd. All the slaves except for Shanti, Totz and Ok were cut down instantly.
Alvin left the storage room and went back into the main part of Wa Mar. He saw the slavers in metal armor shooting down the slaves like fish in a barrel. He pulled a hand grenade off of it's bandolier and threw it like a professional baseball player into the group of shield bearing slavers. About three seconds later KABOOM!!! the slavers were thrown like ragdolls in a tornado. The initial explosion killed one slaver. The others were mildly injured and confused as to what just happened. Alvin ran up to one of the slavers and shot him in the head with his 10mm pistol. The other slavers were too confused to notice that one their own had been shot like a whore receiving a facial.
Ok and Totz had saw the explosion and thought of it as a sign from their gods that hey indeed been spared. Shanti on the otherhand just looked at them like they were indeed dumber and crazier than he perceived them before the explosion. A loud voice of an asshole sounded from above in Wa Mar's PA system, "BEND OVER AND TOUCH YOUR TOES I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE THE MONGOOSE GOES!" Ok and Totz trembled in fear as this voice boomed from no where. Indeed there gods weren't present but in all realities it was Charles in the office who had triggered the release mechanism on the Deathclaw Cage. The creatures however was indeed Mongoose a term of endearment that Lawrence had given his monster for winning him so many death pit fights. The entire party could hear the rumblings of something very big now entering Wa Mar. This was only the beginning of the end.
So concludes CoS part 4b. and 5
ok
Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 9:30 am
One more part and I am done with CoS. Aren't ya'll glad? I am. Anyways have fun reading and post if you feel like it.
A delay
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 6:43 am
For some of ya'll this a blessing. For others it is like wtf!!! I will be posting CoS:part6 sunday I will be busy alll week until then sorry.
Re: A delay
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 7:02 am
For ALL of us it will be a blessing.Janus Matchell wrote:For some of ya'll this a blessing. For others it is like wtf!!! I will be posting CoS:part6 sunday I will be busy alll week until then sorry.
wow
Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 1:32 pm
Retlaw everytime you post about something I say it is like getting a christmas stocking full of razor blades. And that's a compliment. Anyways for you to have posted on this topic must mean you endured crappy grammer and a strong lack of coherence in anything I have written so far. Man you got guts, glory and balls to put up with CoS. More power to you! 
Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2004 11:26 pm
Or perhaps, just perhaps - Retlaw simply read your latest . . contribution . . and responded in his usual, persistent, predictable manner ?
Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 12:48 am
I didn't read his latest contribution, as his posts aren't so much coherent sentences as a bunch of random words strung together. Looking at his style of writing gives me an unspeakable headache. Calling Janus' attempts at communication coherent language is like calling a mokey throwing feces at a wall art.Blargh wrote:Or perhaps, just perhaps - Retlaw simply read your latest . . contribution . . and responded in his usual, persistent, predictable manner ?
Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 2:17 am
Retlaw83 wrote:I didn't read his latest contribution, as his posts aren't so much coherent sentences as a bunch of random words strung together. Looking at his style of writing gives me an unspeakable headache. Calling Janus' attempts at communication coherent language is like calling a mokey throwing feces at a wall art.Blargh wrote:Or perhaps, just perhaps - Retlaw simply read your latest . . contribution . . and responded in his usual, persistent, predictable manner ?
So retlaw what is a mokey? I never heard of them ever, then again a mokey must be in the same boat as a darf, refils and dargons. I must admit my attempts at communication are shit but hey man you have the M4D SPEELIG SKIISS!!!
Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 3:53 am
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA OMG RETLAW HE PUNK'D U DOOD HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
It helps to have at least some credit as a coherant writer of somewhat decent typing skills before you make fun of teh m4d sp22ling arrars. You know, what, his one against your.... fifteen or so per twenty words?
It helps to have at least some credit as a coherant writer of somewhat decent typing skills before you make fun of teh m4d sp22ling arrars. You know, what, his one against your.... fifteen or so per twenty words?
Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 4:04 am
People who write well occasionally make mistakes.jetbaby wrote:HA HA HA HA HA HA HA OMG RETLAW HE PUNK'D U DOOD HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
It helps to have at least some credit as a coherant writer of somewhat decent typing skills before you make fun of teh m4d sp22ling arrars. You know, what, his one against your.... fifteen or so per twenty words?
People like Janus ARE mistakes.
Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 8:52 am
Hmm, I was suffering the process of waking up at the time of writing my last response to this abomination of a topic. Hopefully, elaboration is not necessary.Retlaw83 wrote:I didn't read his latest contribution, /snip
Painfully obvious things are less painful than Janus.
Nonetheless, you have a point. As does jetbaby, unsurprisingly.
I imagine some would call it art, for any number of plentiful, varied reasons. That makes me so happy.Retlaw83 wrote:Calling Janus' attempts at communication coherent language is like calling a mokey throwing feces at a wall art.