Swordfight Lameness in Movies

jetbaby · Post by **jetbaby** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 10:37 am

Lightsabers and aliens would've at least made for an entertaining story. Saying that the basic storyline was there is like saying that the basic storyline of Mein Kampf was found in the Matrix. There are a few names and shit happens. That's about the similarity.

fallout ranger · Post by **fallout ranger** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 10:39 am

whatever you say...

jetbaby · Post by **jetbaby** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 10:42 am

Now you're getting it. Try reading the story then watching the movie. Or just ask someone who's read the story. Or at least has a vague grasp of it. The movie was a two hour spectacle of nothing. Characters had the same name and there was a fight over some bitch. Wow. That sure was closely tied, what with all the characters being anything like how they should, and the gods themselves putting force into each swing as Ajax slew hundreds and Hitler flew in on his ornithopter and ate every last one of the million man marchers.

Blargh · Post by **Blargh** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 12:16 pm

jetbaby has a point, while the film Troy perhaps has the potential for minor entertainment, it would be flagrantly idiotic to suggest it was even remotely faithful to The Illiad on any worthwhile level . . .

*looks*

Why am I not surprised ?

Regardless, I firmly believe a film would never be able to do justice to so great a work of literature.

avenger69ie · Post by **avenger69ie** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 12:38 pm

most siege films do really well anyway, but the reason i posted Troy earlier was because if its fight scene's not its historical literary accuracy

Blargh · Post by **Blargh** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 12:53 pm

I caught the context, avenger. Regarding sword work, Troy was amusing in my opinion. 'Twas nice to see people aiming for their opponent rather than their opponent's weaponry for a change. Had to switch my brain off first though, the classical literature purist within balked at the concept of the film . . .

avenger69ie · Post by **avenger69ie** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 1:07 pm

Are you by chance a Cancerian?

jetbaby · Post by **jetbaby** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 9:48 pm

avenger69ie wrote:... i posted Troy earlier was because if its fight scene's not its historical literary accuracy

Oh, I know. And I agreed. I was just pointing out that the rest of the movie other than a fight or two sucked. And the fights would've actually made it worth my time if he were actually invulnerable, not just a good fighter. That movie was a letdown, for the most part.

avenger69ie · Post by **avenger69ie** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 2:16 am

ahh, i enjoyed it though. i liked the way that hector and Achilles were portrayed as almost godlike hero's... which is basiclly what they were according to the legend...acting in those kind of films is usually over dramatic because nobody has anything to base their acting on besides eitehr legend of history books,
gladiator was like that too, but gladiator was one of the first hi-tech high budget films of that class. so it doesnt get as much stick as what troy would have.
When you compare the acting in gladiator to Spartacus... its almost identical... that is if ye can ignore kirk douglas's chin-hole dimple.

nevertheless, i enjoyed both films

Blargh · Post by **Blargh** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 12:49 pm

avenger69ie wrote:Are you by chance a Cancerian?

Being uncertain of the exact reason(s) for this question, I will provide an emphatic : no comment.

Oh, and a huzzah. There are never enough huzzahs.

S4ur0n27 · Post by **S4ur0n27** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 1:17 pm

Troy was a girl movie. My friend with which I went to see it was all over Brad Pitt's new muscles and abs. FFS.

It would have been fun to see more of Ulysse, and much less of Achilles. Also, Glover can't act anymore and he was fucking annoying.

avenger69ie · Post by **avenger69ie** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 1:40 am

Blargh wrote:
avenger69ie wrote:Are you by chance a Cancerian?
Being uncertain of the exact reason(s) for this question, I will provide an emphatic : no comment.

Oh, and a huzzah. There are never enough huzzahs.

it was just something you said distinctly remined me of a horoscope thing i read about general cancerian attitude... i know i know ...its bullshit, but anyway that was the reason.

Lunchmeat · Post by **Lunchmeat** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 1:46 am

Has anyone here seen the recent Zatoichi movie? I'd like to know where on the good/shitty scale its swordfights fall.

S4ur0n27 · Post by **S4ur0n27** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 1:03 pm

Zatoichi was awesome, even if you take out the swordfights, the whole movie is incredible.

Beat Takeshi is crazey,

avenger69ie · Post by **avenger69ie** » Thu Oct 14, 2004 5:46 pm

Kitano "beat" Takeshi to be precise

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 14, 2004 6:29 pm

Blargh wrote:I believe you have to personally experience it to truly know and appreciate it. If you haven't, I ponder how well you could equate what you see in a film to anything remotely realistic, or begin to know the difference(s).

Oh, cram it. The point of any swordfight is to kill the other person, as Franz said. A director doesn't need to be familiar with the intricate workings of one-on-one combat or the pulsing adrenaline that comes with performing the art of swordfighting - he just needs to have Person A try to slice Person B in half. The rest is just cause and effect: Person B blocks said strike and retaliates with one of his own, which Person A either blocks or ducks, and so on. It's very simple, and you needn't have personally fought with swords to direct a good swordfight scene.

(And if you reply, please don't make long-winded, pretentious jabs at my inferior intelligence or hopeless lack of comprehension which only your divine intellect can even attempt to adopt. Just reply.)

S4ur0n27 · Post by **S4ur0n27** » Thu Oct 14, 2004 6:54 pm

avenger69ie wrote:Kitano "beat" Takeshi to be precise

I know

Nicolai · Post by **Nicolai** » Thu Oct 14, 2004 8:59 pm

Kitano and Takeshi? sounds rather zany to me

S4ur0n27 · Post by **S4ur0n27** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 1:04 am

Actually it's Takeshi Kitano.

fallout ranger · Post by **fallout ranger** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:09 am

susan wins the deluxxx bukkake goggles pack for being showing all you up...