Duck and Cover

Hotdog Apocalypse Showdown

Megatron looked around him at all the puddles. He sat down and meditated on them, the puddles. There was then a flash of a brilliant white light as God appeared. "MEGATRON..." there was a silence. "BRING ME...SOME HOTDOG!" Then he disappeared. Megatron nodded, accepting his holy quest. Hotdogs eh? Well anybody who was anybody knew where to get the best Hotdogs in town. KFC!

St. Toxic looked up as the door opened. Uncurling himself from the slouch he had been cultivating, he repeated what he always did in these consumer situations. "Can I help you, sir?" Though he delivered a majority of that line in monotone, he was quite proud of the sarcasm he had stressed in sir. The customer ignored him, searching the menu for generic food items. St. Toxic looked at him for a few seconds and shrugged. Before returning to his slouch the man spouted "Hot Dogs?"

Exactly. Hot dogs! What's the deal with hot dogs anyway, Megatron wondered. What the heck kind of meat is dog. The KFC worker stared back at him.. "Hot Dogs? This is KFC, sir." What was happening. This plan was already falling apart and he hadn't even purchased the dog. "Hot Dogs mate. A succulent baked sausage wrapped in a bun with a dash of mayonaisse!"

The asshole droned on about hot dogs. He looked towards the weed for some support, but it seemed like everyone had mysteriously fucked off and left him alone. "Uh listen...there's a Hot Dog place across the street. I think they'll sell hot dogs." St. Toxic swell guy at his last sentence. What a brilliant wit! He mentally noted to physically note that one down for later use. The man's face contorted into a mask of absent-minded fury. "HOT DOGS!" he spat.

Megatron started to get angry. Why the masquerade. Was this a hidden camera thing? "Is this a hidden camera thing?" The worker looked behind him again. "Just give me a hotdog mate, I'm in a rush." He tried to smile pleasantly.

The psycho snarled at him, worrying St. Toxic greatly. Perhaps hotdogs meant something else, like 'money' or mabye something sexual. Whichever it was, St. Toxic wasn't willing to put his life on the line for Colonel Sanders. "Money? Is it money you want?" The madman looked confused before his eyebrows darted back up. "Yeah okay." St. Toxic fumbled with the register before handing over wads of money. After handing all the notes over St. Toxic hoped the retard would go away. "Now about them hotdogs..."

The last sentence did something. Flick a switch. The man turned red and started to shout at him. This wasn't good. Megatron started to climb over the counter. All this for a hotdog. The employee ran to the back and came running back with a bucket full of steaming grease. With a yell he threw it akwardly, splashing the boiling fat in his face. His skin started to tighten and pain bloomed all over. "What-"

St. Toxic screamed, hitting him in the face with the empty bucket and accidently slipping on some grease. He heard the door open and then close again. Typical, he was about to be raped to death by some lunatic and nobody came to his aid. Valiantly, he crawled along the yellowing tiles as his nemesis' face fried. The bumbling oaf started to follow him, his face a mass of pink, bubbling flesh. St. Toxic screamed as his terrible foe towered above him, mumbling about hot dogs. Scrambling up he leapt into the weed again, searching for another weapon.

Megatron bumped into a wall. His eyes had been burned a lot. Waddling around he felt something cold enter his neck. And then his chest. And then his neck again. Slump forward. Some blood fell out of him. What was happening. He tried to stand up but the man was kicking him. Go to sleep.

His foot connected again with his ribcage and was greeted with a satisfying crack. He had heard the same noise many times before, being an employee at KFC. Wiping the sweat off his brow, he walked to the front to be greeted by some police officers. "He's in...the back...tried to...fuck me." St. Toxic collapsed to the floor, sobbing. A stone-faced policeman returned from the weed. "He looks pretty dead." "Am I arrested?" The policeman looked at each other and smiled. "Relax buddy, this guys a goddamn psycho. A regular down at the station. Can't say I'm sad to see him go." St. Toxic smiled, relieved at his vigilante-style justice getting a criminal off the street. He was a hero!

Megatron looked down a dark tunnel, listening to the angelic choir. "Step into the light!" whispered someone. Then God appeared. "SORRY MEGATRON, I GUESS WE CANT HAVE HOTDOGS TOGETHER." Megatron shrugged. "We'll always have Paris." God nodded, shaking his hand before giving him a manly embrace. Patting him on the back, Megatron drifted on. He gave one last look back to see God saluting. "God bless you God," he saluted back "And God bless all the hotdogs that never were."

THE END

That was surreal. In A Good Way.

This brings a tear in my eye. Or it could be the onions. A truly magnificent story. I'm glad no one lost control of their bladder this time. Encore!

We're going to run out of DAC personalities to write about eventually. This will be sad. In the meantime, splendid narrative!

I've more or less ran out of the frequentish posters oh well I can always like...do something else.

Do past posters or people from NMa or a big masterpiece of everyone. It will be an epic short story with like tons of pages of words.

If I one day find myself writing a goddamn novel about people on the internet, I would have to hang myself.

Unless I thought it was good.

I've yet to see anything about me..

I was, and will always be, a hero.
T'was awesome. Very well done.

POOPERSCOOPER wrote:Do past posters or people from NMa or a big masterpiece of everyone. It will be an epic short story with like tons of pages of words.

Yeah, a story about how we repel a NMA invasion, force them to slavery before butchering them like cattle and wear them as hats. Maybe it could be a trilogy and the first part called the Phantom Menace. Aye?

ExtremeRyno wrote:I've yet to see anything about me..

sorry i forgot and SHTI

ExtremeRyno fled across the desert, and Naked_Lunch followed. With a great swig of testosterone he had stolen from a piano man, He is, again, looking for the burger boy. During his stay in the desert he meets up with a donkey and a half-eaten cactus and forms an uneasy alliance with them to keep Naked_Lunch from getting the burger boy, who wants them for immortality so he can take over the Universe. While there ExtremeRyno learns from Naked_Lunch, the true circumstances of burger boy.

Eventually, after repeatedly and unsuccessfully sending his henchman after ExtremeRyno, Naked_Lunch decides to take matters into his own hands. During the fight, ExtremeRyno concocts a plan to reach the rank of Super Saiyan by shoving two pens up his nose. This plan fails, however. After a long fight, Naked_Lunch kills ExtremeRyno as the donkey and cactus stand by in horror. ExtremeRyno dies slowly and painfully, pouring his heart and his past out to the donkey as the only other pure-blooded donkey left alive. The donkey makes a moving speech after ExtremeRyno's death, and buries him.

ExtremeRyno reappears when a wish is made with the burger boy to bring back everyone killed in the desert. He is accidentally revived, and brought to Vegas, but not before he sees that the cactus has transformed into the legendary cactus warrior that legend says will appear only every three millennia. Meanwhile, burger boy defeats Naked_Lunch but, unbeknowst to burger boy, Naked_Lunch lives. Burger boy and the donkey then go off to train and heal in space. ExtremeRyno follows him in a spaceship he steals from Neil Armstrong, in an attempt to find burger boy and find out from him how to become a Super Saiyan (this occurs only in the anime).

KAMEH-HA-MEH-HUUUUUUUEAHHHHHH!

do one about pennyante and the struggles with his relations while getting a sex change.

always finish badly so people stop saying 'hey do it again'

PENNYANTE GIMMICK STORY BULLSHIT TESTICLE FUCKING

This was like the movie Mask, but for dicks. PennyAnte studied the procedural book again and again before nodding to herself. After studying various tomes on the internet for several years, she decided now was the time. Turning to a shadow of a man she said

Harry Potter had studied at Hogwarts, the school for witchcraft and wizardy for his entire childhood. He had smited Bwifflequips and other shit that had too many letters. He had brewed elegant potions and got high. And other magical stuff that is too terrible to comprehend and even write about. Stepping off the magical train that travelled from London to Hogwarts he was suddenly surrounded by the swinging cocks of his teachers. "What is happening? CRUSHNIOFOSULO!" a spell whizzed past a hair, zapping someones butt. "Join us Harry..." the forest of penises moves closer, forcing themselves towards the

Harry woke up later in a girls bed and it smelled like girls . "Hey Harry." said a beautiful woman made of bronze. "What happened was I fucked." spat the boy. "No it was a dream, let me explain it to

And then PennyAnte awoke to find penis in jar. "Ah, a metaphor for penis in jar. Gotcha." Stroking her glorious breasts in the morning sun, PennyAnte looked out of the window and saw herself in the glass. But her face wasn't there. It was someone elses face. She remembered her from the news, Insane_Lark, the insane lark killer from volcano country! "What is hattening?" The reflection was about to speak when she was

There was a body in the corner with no skin and it had a breath. There was some air in the air. "Wake up me". I am a girl? There is a body in the corner. Was is having a breath or was this a hallucination brought on. By an unknown force. A terrible behemoth! An unstoppable juggernaut screaming through space riding on the roar of the big bang, the size of a planet with eyes made of moons. PennyAnte had to sit down and

Harry Potter walked into Hermione house on a winters night and there was a hairy pussy and it had a eye and it dribbled out a torrent of shit. Then a mans head came out and it was like Ace Ventura 2. "SpellaCarvious!" shouted the young magician, trying to valiantly stop the call of this Lovecraftian beast. There was a scratching at the fabric of various realities. A scream through the infinity that brought PennyAnte and Harry Potter together into PotterAnte, a being made from pure Harry Potter and 20% beef products. PotterAnte looked around with new eyes and said

Then there was some magical stuff that happened and with the power of love from pikachu PotterAnte turned into a ghost that haunted a whole city and everyone who saw the ghost turned into a dead person, who acted like a live person but they had maggots eating them inside and sometimes they fell apart in the street and people wondered "Whats up with that shit what the fuck is happening" and then doctors made an investigation and found maggots in everyone. This is a new type "of disease" said a doctor, spitting out big black flies in the camera. "This is a disease but I

You kept eating sugar to feed the flies sugar wrapped in sirloin steak. Walking zombies, the dead living! Faces like puppets. Puppet faces. There was some more breath and then PennyAnte awoke from the

A doctor came to the bedside and investigated her in the face. "You are having a bad reality. I am giving you an exotic pleasure only a few people dream about and fewer don't dream about." She had no arms or legs or fingers or toes. "MY ARMS MY ARMS!" You have no head to said the doctor. I have no head! The head was in a box in a little girls room and she'd open it and a head would look up and say

Harry Potter? "Who am I?" Am I Harry Potter or Pennyante. This was a buttfuck to be dealt with. But not at the moment. Perhaps just not think and be a vegetable and people wouldnt talk to you so you can just listen to everyone all day and live in the streets. Just listen to all the people and watch them. This is it. This is

THE END

What about me? Am I not worthy!?!

It's not you, it's your clan.

What's hysterical is that you guys account for like, half my hits.