Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 7:30 pm
On the blargh
The blargh can only understand fragments of written text due to a severe fault in the head contracted during pregnancy together with the other of its hideous anomalies. The blargh instead uses its grossly exaggerated powers of imagination (this is by most scholars considered to be a 'joke' on behalf of nature) to interpret the words and place them in a completely invented context, often with hilarious outcome. The blargh is in the womb subjected to overly generous quantities of oxygen and various strains of nitrates, accelerating the development of its brain at the expense of other facilities. The result is telekinetic abilites which together with its peculiar appearance not seldom isolates it from an environment horrified also by its wild, bloodshot eyes and erratic personality. Blarghs have in history been shunned as vermin as they feed off their mothers' internal organs from the sixth month of pregnancy to the eighteenth. The way in which it finally bursts out of her abdomen was associated by the Aztecs to such pieces of popular fiction as the Alien franchise. It was therefore believed that if the blarghs were not supplied with the exact amount of hearts of innocent children required to content them, the sun would stop in its revolution around earth, which was undesirable. Contrary to plebeian prejudice however the blargh is not a parasite but a productive member of most societies.
The blargh can only understand fragments of written text due to a severe fault in the head contracted during pregnancy together with the other of its hideous anomalies. The blargh instead uses its grossly exaggerated powers of imagination (this is by most scholars considered to be a 'joke' on behalf of nature) to interpret the words and place them in a completely invented context, often with hilarious outcome. The blargh is in the womb subjected to overly generous quantities of oxygen and various strains of nitrates, accelerating the development of its brain at the expense of other facilities. The result is telekinetic abilites which together with its peculiar appearance not seldom isolates it from an environment horrified also by its wild, bloodshot eyes and erratic personality. Blarghs have in history been shunned as vermin as they feed off their mothers' internal organs from the sixth month of pregnancy to the eighteenth. The way in which it finally bursts out of her abdomen was associated by the Aztecs to such pieces of popular fiction as the Alien franchise. It was therefore believed that if the blarghs were not supplied with the exact amount of hearts of innocent children required to content them, the sun would stop in its revolution around earth, which was undesirable. Contrary to plebeian prejudice however the blargh is not a parasite but a productive member of most societies.