The boat was a massive beast, and a fine sea-faring vessel. It was several miles long and the walls were hollow and made of glass. Every wall was filled with water and fish, for added camouflage. Each sailor on the S.S Cuba had to wear a fish costume to blend in with the ship. On the top deck there was several hundred cannons that had been salvaged from abandoned pirate ships. There was also a nuclear missile launch-pad hidden away in some sea-weed in the hull. Che Guevara donned his captains cap and strode aboard.
"Good morning sir! How are you today?!" yelled a young-face skipper by the name of Fidel Castro. "What is your name young fellow?" whispered the legendary rebel leader. "Ich bin my name is Fidel Castro!" screamed the young fellow. "If anything happens to me out on the open seas I want you to run Cuba for me, ok?" Che Guevara saluted as the young fellow dived overboard and swam for the port.
The ship was slowly unhooked from it's massive anchor-port and travelled several miles towards Florida. Suddenly a red alert light went on and started blinking furiously. The Cuban Army had realized that Che Guevara had stolen there prize war vessel! Several fishing boats quickly rowed themselves to the hulking hulk. "THIS IS THE CUBAN ARMY! GET OFF OUR SHIP YOU FILTHY COMMIES" called out a brave cuban smoking a cigar. Che Guevara strode to the front of his vessel and commanded the cuban sea police should be killed!
The S.S Cuba gradually swang around while it's rebel army of sailors and pirates prepared themselves. They drew there cutlasses and gnashed there teeth in apprehension of feasting on the blood of a fascist Cuban! The huge boat slowly rolled towards the rest of the Cuban sea police and crushed several of them. All that remained was the president of cuba who sat on a golden throne aboard a speed-boat with his black slaves. One plucky young slave suggested that he get rid of his gold throne but he was shot in the eye by the fascist dictator. "A CAPTAIN MUST GO DOWN WITH HIS THRONE. AND SO MUST HIS SLAVES!" yelled the drunken arsehole. The slaves quickly got out there boomerangs and threw them in the air and they span around and cut off his head. The slaves then tried to join the cuban rebels but a 600-ton boat rolled over them.
Che Guevara lit an american cigar and inhaled deeply. "Ah american cigars! How aromatic!" he squeeled as his tiny testicles flapped valiantly in the wind. The boat started scraping against the coral reef of Florida and several Floridans rang the U.S Army. "Help us!" they yelled. So they did.
JFK drummed his fingers along his bald head in the oval house deep in the underground lair of the White House. Donning his wig, he went on the rocket-propelled lift up the lincoln monument. "There must be something we can do! But the S.S Cuba is to powerful for my marines to fight. If only we knew what colour a trapezium was." he cursed. He then remembered his top secret manuever that only him and the FBI knew about. But could he do it in time?
The Cuban rebels invaded Florida beach. They snapped the surf-boards of the freedom loving Americans. "In Cuba, surf board you!" one spat, firing a machinegun into a crowded bus. Che Guevara suddenly appeard next to him. "This is not how the Communist do it Ernesto. We have to infiltrate there ranks and spread Communism into there society."
Suddenly a jet flew overhead and dropped a bomb onto some Cubans. "What is happening Che?" said one fine cuban sailor until a bomb hit in in the nuts. Che Guevara whipped around as bombs fell onto his comrades. The smell of burning flesh invaded his well-toned nostrils. "Ack, Bacon!" he cried. "This is indeed a bay of pigs!"
JFK looked at the spy-cameras from his presendital car and grinned. "Ah, I have defeated the Communism. At last!" He instructed the driver to pull off the roof of his car and drive to Florida so he could personally take a large shit on Che Guevara.
Meanwhile Lee Herby Oswald strode into the book suppository building. He grinned at a pretty babe as he unloaded several books into her vagina. Suddenly his commie-communicator went off. "Excuse me ma'am." he smiled, tipping his fedora. He jogged upstairs and took off his shirt to reveal a huge hammer and sickle tattoo on his chest. He tapped it and it lit up as he telepathically communicated with a communist in trouble. "Who is this?" he yokelled. "Listen to me very carefully Oswald, we only have one chance to do this..."
The motorcade slowly drove into Texas. JFK enjoyed the wind in his wig as the sun blazed down. "Ah, so fresh. The Cubans have been defeated in toe-to-toe fighting. All I have to do now is kill Russia!". Suddenly a shot rang out and the bullet zinged him in the buttocks. "Who the heck is shooting at me?"
Lee Herby Oswald sneered as he fired again, but he knew it was to late. All he had done was kill JFK's wife and her wet minge sloppily rubbed itself on her husbands face. He could hear FBI men run up the stairs. Looking down his scope, he watched the President give oral sex to his dying wife when another bullet hit him in the back of the head. His face exploded all over the hairy twat. But who was the other shooter? He crazily looked around until he saw it. The beret poking over a grassy statue of Stalin. It was Che Guevara! He stood up and looked at Oswald and winked. "You did good kid." he smiled, walking off into the distance. Oswald nodded back as the entire FBI poured into the book suppository building. "Drop da gun swell guy!" screamed one. Oswald dropped the rifle and turned around. He then pulled open his trenchcoat to reveal a penis sculpted out of plastic explosives. "I regret nothing!" he finally sneered as the explosives killed the entire FBI and everyone in a 5 block radius.
