Fallout Sitcom- Redux 40k
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 2:17 am
It was a warm morning and I could smell the cookies and sunshine. We were having the family over for some bbq. My wife and I had gotten a late start so we took a shower together.
I see her take off her gowns and looking in the mirror at her sagging tits and plump vagina. "Don't worry, there will be plenty of time for love in the future", I said. It raised her spirits back up, then she shaved the back of my neck.
The doorbell rang and we let all our family in, I was first introduced to my daughters boyfriend and I didn't like him. he said he was from the navy and I never liked the navy swell guy. I feel old and helpless now that I have no control over my daughter, it made me feel depressed.
When we were in the backyard I saw my other daughter's kids playing with toy guns, it reminded me of a time when my life was filled with adventure and intrigue. It reminded me of... The Carebears.
Cambodia 1985
"Long time no see, Killzig" said Spazmo.
"ah.. you look like shit, whats your secret?" said Killzig.
I noticed Killzig was a bit shaky and had some stuff on his mind. "So whats the mission?" I said.
"Its a standerd knockdown, but it just doesn't seem right. They want a new guy to come with The Carebears."
" A new guy with us? We are one of the most elite squads in the world, why stick us with a new guy on a regular routine mission?"
" Spazmo, the times are getting complicated and its not black and white like it used to be. Trust me, I did all I could to prevent this but I had no control..."
"what is it kilzig?"
"The new guy is Pooperscooper"
"You mean TEH pooperscooper of the New York tunnel incident?"
"The very same one."
I could hear the rotors starting up so I got onto the helicopter. The whole squad is here and they know whats going on, without me even saying anything. When Pooper steps on board, no on protests, they just look him up and down. I can see killzig from the office window smoking his cigar, and I feel like I'm never going to see him again.
I've been working with the squad for a long time, we know how each other work so every mission is smooth. Megatron is in the corner of the helicopter like always, secluding himself. He is one of the top scouts in the world and we've known each other since the Rice and Water wars. Then we have Kashluk who is a tank of a man, he has won 6 world butt squat championships so its safe to call him our muscle. At last we have Smiley, the sniper who has a 51% hit rate. It will be interesting to see how Pooper will interact with the squad.
We land a couple miles off course and directly ontop of the targets base. We hate the heli pilot, hes always dropping us off at teh wrong places. When the squad drop down I punch the pilot in the back of the head and he starts crying. A minute later he got hit with a rocket.
Once we hit the ground Megatron darts off into the jungle, Pooper yells at him asking where he is going. I hold pooper back since he wont understand. Kashluk grabs a car and start crushing people with it, and then he finds the rear view mirror in the car and starts staring at it while flexing his muscles. It time for Pooper to see why Spazmo is always number one. Oh ya, Smiley been shooting his sniper rifle at the enemy to distract them.
I snap the first few charlie's necks while pooper is unloading his ammo on each of them like a newbie. We throw a couple of C4s to make some room, but no one gets up after that so we assume that we got the target.
I hear a thumping and a giant man comes towards us, even larger than Kashluk. It is PORCU.
"wt da fuk u wunt fagoT?"
"We come in peace, porcu. We just want to complete our mission."
Smiley shoots and misses. Kashluk knows what must be done, he tears the mirror in half then puts some finnish gum in his mouth. Procue and kasluk go for each others necks and do the STRANGLE hold. They are both of equal strength and its a stalematch, then their is a gurgle in Kasluks stomach. Hes about to fart. He tries to hold it but he can't when under pressure and rips the hugest fart ever. The rumble was so great that it broke his own neck.
I jump and try to save kasluk but porcu swats me away. Porcu is going after pooper. Pooper is asking for my help but a giant boulder crushs my legs for a second. When cornered pooper puts two fists up porcu's butt then does a super jump all the way up inside him until he comes out Porcu's nose. While going up his body, pooper brought porcu's balls with him and stuck them with his eyes.
"Get some glasses, foureyes"- pooper
Then he karate chops him and Porcu is terminated. I sigh a sigh of relief for the mission is over but kashluk has been killed, I just hope I dont have to pay some tax's for him or something.
THEN a giant laser shoots thte boulder off my legs and I see where the blast came from. There is a man in teh distance. It is SUSAN.
Chapter 6: Megatron
The cat is so little but fast. I'm running as fast as i can but I still can't catch it lol. Its talking to me
"why do you run?"
"because running is fun" I said
"follow me to neverland"
"peterpan?" I said.
I follow it to a tree house, inside there is a fire burning. Sitting around the fire are elephants, tigers, rhinoes, more cats, zebras, and dogs. They ask me to sit by their side and we hug each other in celeberation of life. The cat I was chasing before now turns into a human but its head stays that of a cat. It reads us stories about neverland and we all laugh in joy. Slowly as night beckons the animals fall asleep except for me and the cat. He holds my hand and leads me up the stairs into a officce. he sits behind his desk and leans back in his leater chair while in his black suit with the same cat head. There is a long moment of silence.
"join us?" -cat
"maybe" -me
"I love u." -cat
"I love you too." -me
The room then turns dark and I hear moewing. At first it is one cat but then I can hear more and more until its thousands. I see heads of animals flying around the room asking me to play with them. I feel a sharp pain in my back, it feels like something is growing. I look around and see some black things comming out.
All the heads leave and I now see the cat man in his seat again.
"meow?" said the catman.
"LOL" I said.
The some bat wings came out of my back and I flew over to the cat man and grabbed its eye out and put it in a jar. I flew through the roof back to the mission area.
Chapter 2: Smiley
The situation is REAL BAd, Susan the evil spammer has his target on both pooper and spazmo. Susan walks towards spazmo and they start talking.
"swell guy jew swell guy" said susan.
"I should of known this was of your planning susan. You sold us out pooper, you could of been one of the best you could of been a Carebear. Why did you do this?" said spsazmp
"because I just want to be loved and susan was the only one there for me, he made me want to be a better man. I'm sorry spazmo." said pooper
Susan started to spam Spazmo with jews, swell guy, and swell guy. Spazmo was yelling at the top of his lungs, he wouldn't be able to take much of it. It was up to me and my sniper rifles, I will be the savour of the day and spazmo will love me more than he did of pooper. I love you spazmo. As I squeeze the trigger I smell smoke and I can't see out of my right eye. I'm starting to get tired and my head is getting warm, I want to go to sleep now bey...
Chapt 9: swell guy on the dance floor
We look at where the shot sounds came from, and I can see the sun through smileys head. His hit percentage just went up.
I see pooper in shock at the hidous jews and swell guy. He's been in the carebears too long to see a fellow comrade suffer from the scum of the world. He pulls a out a bomb of shakespear and throws it at susan. The bomb sticks to susans head and starts to do its work. Susans head is getting larger and larger, we dont have much time.
"you are a true patriot, pooper"
"i know"
"I have one question though, what happened in the New York tunnel?" said I.
"It collapsed and I had to save a bunch of people while it was flooding." Pooper said
I looked at susans head and it was about to explode. Pooper and I shook hands in the carebear way. I then saw a bat thing come fly towards me and I could faintly see that it was megatron. He picked me up and flew me out while the shakespeare bomb blew.
"You okay?" -megatron
"i'll live." -spazmo
"what are we going to do now?" -meg
"fly...fly to the west." - spazmo
"
" -megatron
I see her take off her gowns and looking in the mirror at her sagging tits and plump vagina. "Don't worry, there will be plenty of time for love in the future", I said. It raised her spirits back up, then she shaved the back of my neck.
The doorbell rang and we let all our family in, I was first introduced to my daughters boyfriend and I didn't like him. he said he was from the navy and I never liked the navy swell guy. I feel old and helpless now that I have no control over my daughter, it made me feel depressed.
When we were in the backyard I saw my other daughter's kids playing with toy guns, it reminded me of a time when my life was filled with adventure and intrigue. It reminded me of... The Carebears.
Cambodia 1985
"Long time no see, Killzig" said Spazmo.
"ah.. you look like shit, whats your secret?" said Killzig.
I noticed Killzig was a bit shaky and had some stuff on his mind. "So whats the mission?" I said.
"Its a standerd knockdown, but it just doesn't seem right. They want a new guy to come with The Carebears."
" A new guy with us? We are one of the most elite squads in the world, why stick us with a new guy on a regular routine mission?"
" Spazmo, the times are getting complicated and its not black and white like it used to be. Trust me, I did all I could to prevent this but I had no control..."
"what is it kilzig?"
"The new guy is Pooperscooper"
"You mean TEH pooperscooper of the New York tunnel incident?"
"The very same one."
I could hear the rotors starting up so I got onto the helicopter. The whole squad is here and they know whats going on, without me even saying anything. When Pooper steps on board, no on protests, they just look him up and down. I can see killzig from the office window smoking his cigar, and I feel like I'm never going to see him again.
I've been working with the squad for a long time, we know how each other work so every mission is smooth. Megatron is in the corner of the helicopter like always, secluding himself. He is one of the top scouts in the world and we've known each other since the Rice and Water wars. Then we have Kashluk who is a tank of a man, he has won 6 world butt squat championships so its safe to call him our muscle. At last we have Smiley, the sniper who has a 51% hit rate. It will be interesting to see how Pooper will interact with the squad.
We land a couple miles off course and directly ontop of the targets base. We hate the heli pilot, hes always dropping us off at teh wrong places. When the squad drop down I punch the pilot in the back of the head and he starts crying. A minute later he got hit with a rocket.
Once we hit the ground Megatron darts off into the jungle, Pooper yells at him asking where he is going. I hold pooper back since he wont understand. Kashluk grabs a car and start crushing people with it, and then he finds the rear view mirror in the car and starts staring at it while flexing his muscles. It time for Pooper to see why Spazmo is always number one. Oh ya, Smiley been shooting his sniper rifle at the enemy to distract them.
I snap the first few charlie's necks while pooper is unloading his ammo on each of them like a newbie. We throw a couple of C4s to make some room, but no one gets up after that so we assume that we got the target.
I hear a thumping and a giant man comes towards us, even larger than Kashluk. It is PORCU.
"wt da fuk u wunt fagoT?"
"We come in peace, porcu. We just want to complete our mission."
Smiley shoots and misses. Kashluk knows what must be done, he tears the mirror in half then puts some finnish gum in his mouth. Procue and kasluk go for each others necks and do the STRANGLE hold. They are both of equal strength and its a stalematch, then their is a gurgle in Kasluks stomach. Hes about to fart. He tries to hold it but he can't when under pressure and rips the hugest fart ever. The rumble was so great that it broke his own neck.
I jump and try to save kasluk but porcu swats me away. Porcu is going after pooper. Pooper is asking for my help but a giant boulder crushs my legs for a second. When cornered pooper puts two fists up porcu's butt then does a super jump all the way up inside him until he comes out Porcu's nose. While going up his body, pooper brought porcu's balls with him and stuck them with his eyes.
"Get some glasses, foureyes"- pooper
Then he karate chops him and Porcu is terminated. I sigh a sigh of relief for the mission is over but kashluk has been killed, I just hope I dont have to pay some tax's for him or something.
THEN a giant laser shoots thte boulder off my legs and I see where the blast came from. There is a man in teh distance. It is SUSAN.
Chapter 6: Megatron
The cat is so little but fast. I'm running as fast as i can but I still can't catch it lol. Its talking to me
"why do you run?"
"because running is fun" I said
"follow me to neverland"
"peterpan?" I said.
I follow it to a tree house, inside there is a fire burning. Sitting around the fire are elephants, tigers, rhinoes, more cats, zebras, and dogs. They ask me to sit by their side and we hug each other in celeberation of life. The cat I was chasing before now turns into a human but its head stays that of a cat. It reads us stories about neverland and we all laugh in joy. Slowly as night beckons the animals fall asleep except for me and the cat. He holds my hand and leads me up the stairs into a officce. he sits behind his desk and leans back in his leater chair while in his black suit with the same cat head. There is a long moment of silence.
"join us?" -cat
"maybe" -me
"I love u." -cat
"I love you too." -me
The room then turns dark and I hear moewing. At first it is one cat but then I can hear more and more until its thousands. I see heads of animals flying around the room asking me to play with them. I feel a sharp pain in my back, it feels like something is growing. I look around and see some black things comming out.
All the heads leave and I now see the cat man in his seat again.
"meow?" said the catman.
"LOL" I said.
The some bat wings came out of my back and I flew over to the cat man and grabbed its eye out and put it in a jar. I flew through the roof back to the mission area.
Chapter 2: Smiley
The situation is REAL BAd, Susan the evil spammer has his target on both pooper and spazmo. Susan walks towards spazmo and they start talking.
"swell guy jew swell guy" said susan.
"I should of known this was of your planning susan. You sold us out pooper, you could of been one of the best you could of been a Carebear. Why did you do this?" said spsazmp
"because I just want to be loved and susan was the only one there for me, he made me want to be a better man. I'm sorry spazmo." said pooper
Susan started to spam Spazmo with jews, swell guy, and swell guy. Spazmo was yelling at the top of his lungs, he wouldn't be able to take much of it. It was up to me and my sniper rifles, I will be the savour of the day and spazmo will love me more than he did of pooper. I love you spazmo. As I squeeze the trigger I smell smoke and I can't see out of my right eye. I'm starting to get tired and my head is getting warm, I want to go to sleep now bey...
Chapt 9: swell guy on the dance floor
We look at where the shot sounds came from, and I can see the sun through smileys head. His hit percentage just went up.
I see pooper in shock at the hidous jews and swell guy. He's been in the carebears too long to see a fellow comrade suffer from the scum of the world. He pulls a out a bomb of shakespear and throws it at susan. The bomb sticks to susans head and starts to do its work. Susans head is getting larger and larger, we dont have much time.
"you are a true patriot, pooper"
"i know"
"I have one question though, what happened in the New York tunnel?" said I.
"It collapsed and I had to save a bunch of people while it was flooding." Pooper said
I looked at susans head and it was about to explode. Pooper and I shook hands in the carebear way. I then saw a bat thing come fly towards me and I could faintly see that it was megatron. He picked me up and flew me out while the shakespeare bomb blew.
"You okay?" -megatron
"i'll live." -spazmo
"what are we going to do now?" -meg
"fly...fly to the west." - spazmo
"
" -megatron
