dreadnought stories
Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 9:20 am
Rain rained down in rainy Germany like it was nobodies business. Staring out of the windows of his billion dollar solid gold bmw, dreadnought lit a joint dipped in formaldahyde and stared some more. Eventually he got out of the car to be greeted by 4 lesbians covered in honey, who escorted him to the best night club in Europe, The Best Club. The carpets had glitter sprinkled on them, each piece individually cut by Chinese boys on the other side of the world. A bullshit leather sofa between two giant lava lamps had a blue plaque above it reading "Dreadnoughts seat. Daddy bought it me." Sitting down he noticed the seats were uncomfy and the general atmosphere of the place was bullshit, but he was paying the lesbians 3 gold bullions a minute to be seen with him and didn't want to waste it on complaining.
Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a police cop. "What is that man doing here." He shouted, his tiniest of beards ruffled. The cop turned round and spat a wad of tobacco into a porcelain bowl from Versailles. "I am investigating a murder." Dreadnought nodded, checked to make sure people were watching, then pulled out a GUN. "Oh yeah...who died and made you king?" Before shooting the police, then 2 of the lesbians. He sat back and realized he had been wasting his life in Germany. A small child ran up to him. "Hey kid, life isnt worth living. Get rich or die trying." Before paying him off with gold bullion to sneak a condom full of condoms through customs. Australia is the land of the free.
Also, papa needed to go there. Forcing Dreadnought into small clothes and sitting in coach. Papa had stone cold eyes and a stone cold face, ashamed of his bastardson. He lifted up his cane and smashed a hole in the plane, making it spiral out of control. A lot of paper blew everywhere and Dreadnought was not a happy chappy, he needed his smelling salts. Landing in the dark bay of Brisbania, he unfolded onto the runway only to discover that brisbane was 67% chin. But why? He rose his eyes to the horizon and saw a pair of beauitful black nostrils ascending into the clouds. Future girlfriend. He then saw a poor beggar in the streets and snorted. "Hey pal, you'll never be as super cool as me. Don't you realize that?" But the beggar was a ghost. And nobody cared.
The End
Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a police cop. "What is that man doing here." He shouted, his tiniest of beards ruffled. The cop turned round and spat a wad of tobacco into a porcelain bowl from Versailles. "I am investigating a murder." Dreadnought nodded, checked to make sure people were watching, then pulled out a GUN. "Oh yeah...who died and made you king?" Before shooting the police, then 2 of the lesbians. He sat back and realized he had been wasting his life in Germany. A small child ran up to him. "Hey kid, life isnt worth living. Get rich or die trying." Before paying him off with gold bullion to sneak a condom full of condoms through customs. Australia is the land of the free.
Also, papa needed to go there. Forcing Dreadnought into small clothes and sitting in coach. Papa had stone cold eyes and a stone cold face, ashamed of his bastardson. He lifted up his cane and smashed a hole in the plane, making it spiral out of control. A lot of paper blew everywhere and Dreadnought was not a happy chappy, he needed his smelling salts. Landing in the dark bay of Brisbania, he unfolded onto the runway only to discover that brisbane was 67% chin. But why? He rose his eyes to the horizon and saw a pair of beauitful black nostrils ascending into the clouds. Future girlfriend. He then saw a poor beggar in the streets and snorted. "Hey pal, you'll never be as super cool as me. Don't you realize that?" But the beggar was a ghost. And nobody cared.
The End
Rebuttal?