Terror Alert has been raised

[PsychoSniper]

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs."

They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

[S4ur0n27]

Ah, bloody!

[Goretheglowingone]

pfffthahahahahahah!

[Superhaze]

Nope.. still not funny. Good idea, badly executed.
But im sure you cant be blamed for that. to much history
for a single man to make such a fuuney.

[Dogmeatlives]

I like the Spanish Navy joke. Funny stuff.

On a sidenote, I can always tell a Psychosniper thread from the title on the main page. I guessed this one and the last four or so.

[PsychoSnipers]

Too bad they banned him, his posts were some of the best while I lurked. Granted he seemed to post drunk a lot, but he simply told it like it was with his harrasment of bethesda softworks.

[jetbaby]

We have much more intelligent people who hate bethesda around here. He's the bottom of the barrel.

[Dogmeatlives]

We have much more intelligent people who hate bethesda around here. He's the bottom of the barrel.

For instance, I hate Bethesda and got an A+ in my third grade spelling.

[Superhaze]

And your from new jersey. thats a doubly whammy!

[Dogmeatlives]

In the bible it is written that the third anti-christ will be an excellent speller and come from New Jersey, believe it or not...

[Blargh]

best

LACONIC LAWYER SITS SMUGLY.

[Spazmo]

Seriously, though, it's very dangerous to underestimate the threat of posts by PsychoSniper. Report all sightings to the police. Help stamp out PsychoSniper.

[Wolfman Walt]

Spazmo's back as well? Jesus, you have been listening to my prayers!

[VasikkA]

Spazmo's back as well? Jesus, you have been listening to my prayers!

There can only be one explanation; Spazmo IS PsychoSniper

Too bad they banned him, his posts were some of the best while I lurked. Granted he seemed to post drunk a lot, but he simply told it like it was with his harrasment of bethesda softworks.

Haha, nice try.

[S4ur0n27]

Seriously, though, it's very dangerous to underestimate the threat of posts by PsychoSniper. Report all sightings to the police. Help stamp out PsychoSniper.

We've been doing that, exactly, but the police isn't listening.

[PsychoSnipers]

Seriously, though, it's very dangerous to underestimate the threat of posts by PsychoSniper. Report all sightings to the police. Help stamp out PsychoSniper.

We've been doing that, exactly, but the police isn't listening.

[Mamma’s Gang runs out the chamber into a hall of pillars. Mamma’s Gang is closely pursued by an army of Orcs. Other Orcs spring out from the floor or crawl, like spiders, from the ceiling and down the pillars.]

[They surround Mamma’s Gang, who have drawn their weapons outward in a circle.]

[The Orcs snarl and leer.]

[Gimli lets out a yell. A fiery light appears at the end of a hall followed by a thunderous rumble. The Orcs flee in all directions. Gimli laughs, thinking he has scared off the Orcs.]

[Mamma’s Gang are left alone. The weary wizard stares down the hall.]

Boromir: "What is this new devilry?"

[Nicoli does not respond for a moment. He closes his eyes, concentrating. The rumble is heard again.]

[Nicoli opens his eyes.]

Nicoli: "A PsychoSniper � a demon of the ancient world."

[The thing growls, still hidden around a corner of the vast hall, throwing fiery light on the pillars. Legolas's eyes show fear.]

Nicoli: "This foe is beyond any of you… Run!"

[Mamma’s Gang runs to a small doorway. Nicoli shepherds them through.]

Nicoli: "Quickly!"

[He takes a last glance behind him, and follows.]

[Mamma’s Gang enters a passageway and goes down a flight of steps. The flight ends in a missing segment, and Boromir nearly falls but Legolas pulls him back.]

[His torch whirls away into the vast underworld beneath.]

Aragorn: "Nicoli!"

Nicoli: "Lead them on, Aragorn! The bridge is near!"

[They look across a wide space to a long bridge spanning the gap between a hall and a cliff face. Away behind them, the PsychoSniper roars again.]

[Aragorn moves towards Nicoli, but Nicoli pushes Aragorn roughly away from him.]

Nicoli: "Do as I say!"

[Hurt and confusion register on Aragorn's face.]

Nicoli: "Swords are no more use here!"

[The PsychoSniper roars again. Mamma’s Gang descend a flight of massive stairs.]

[Mamma’s Gang encounters a gap in the stairs. Legolas leaps and lands on the other side.]

[The PsychoSniper rumbles again. Foundations splinter and crumble, sending huge rocks tumbling into the depths.]

Legolas: "Nicoli."

[Nicoli leaps after him.]

[Arrows whistle into the air from a far ledge, striking the stone steps. Legolas shoots back. His arrow rises through the air and pierces the skull of an Orc. The Orc tumbles down from his ledge.]

Boromir: "Merry! Pippin! Hoo-aah!"

[He leaps across the gap.]

[An exchange of arrows follow from the stairs to the ledge.]

Aragorn: "Sam."

[He pitches Sam to the other side where the Hobbit is caught by Boromir.]

[Aragorn reaches to pick up Gimli.]

Gimli: [holds up his hand] "Nobody tosses a dwarf."

[He leaps forward but nearly falls back into the chasm. Legolas grabs his beard and pulls him up.]

Gimli: "Not the beard!"

[Some of the stone steps crumble and fall. Aragorn pushes Frodo to safety. They climb to their feet and look at the now widened gap that separates them from the rest of Mamma’s Gang.]

Aragorn: "Steady. Hold on!"

[The PsychoSniper can be heard approaching from the other hall. Stone structures around the mine collapse as it draws near. A huge rock falls from the ceiling and smashes through the steps behind Aragorn and Frodo, creating another gap behind them. The stairs begin to wobble.]

Aragorn: "Hang on! Lean forward!"

Legolas: "Come on!"

[They shift their weight forward, tipping the stairs across the divide and slamming them onto the steps where their companions are.]

[They leap across to safety. They run down the stairs as the stone structures collapse behind them.]

[Around a great pillar in a fiery hall comes Nicoli, leading Mamma’s Gang. A wall of flame whirls behind them.]

Nicoli: "Over the bridge! Fly!"

[Mamma’s Gang flees. Nicoli does not follow, but turns, looking into the wall of fire.]

[A great form of black shadow leaps through the flames, its eyes of white fire, great ash-black horns curling around a bull-like head.]

[It opens its maw, rippling heat pouring out with a rumble. Nicoli turns, running after Mamma’s Gang. A great, black, cloven foot stomps down into the hall, bursting into flame. A narrow bridge of stone appears in the fiery light, and Mamma’s Gang crosses the bridge. Nicoli turns to face the PsychoSniper.]

Nicoli: "You cannot pass!"

Frodo: "Nicoli!"

Nicoli: "I am the servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor…"

Nicoli: "The dark fire will not avail you! Flame of Udûn!"

[The PsychoSniper strikes down on Nicoli, who parries the blow with his blade, shattering the PsychoSniper's sword. Glowing embers run off the circle of light around the wizard. The monster bellows at the wizard. Frodo gasps. Aragorn runs forward.]

Nicoli: [clenching his teeth] "Go back to the Shadow!"

[The PsychoSniper steps onto the bridge. It brandishes a flaming whip.]

[Nicoli raises his sword and staff together into the air.]

Nicoli: "You � shall not � pass!"

[Nicoli drives his staff into the bridge, causing a bright flash of blue light to appear. Flaring its nostrils, the Balrog steps forward onto the bridge.]

[The bridge collapses from under it as it moves towards Nicoli, and breaks before the wizard's staff. The demon plunges backward into the chasm, still wielding its glowing whip. Nicoli, exhausted, leans on his staff and watches the PsychoSniper fall. He turns to follow the others.]

[The flaming whip lashes up from the depths of the abyss and winds about Nicoli's ankle, dragging him over the edge. He clings onto the bridge but strains to keep his grip. Frodo rushes forward but Boromir restrains him.]

Boromir: "No, no!"

Frodo: "Nicoli!"

[The wizard grasps the bridge, looking into Frodo's eyes. He stops struggling.]

Nicoli: "Fly, you fools!"

[Nicoli lets go of the stone and falls into the chasm, spreading his arms, the light of the PsychoSniper glimmering far below.]

[S4ur0n27]

uh

[Mechanurgist]

There can only be one explanation; Spazmo IS PsychoSniper

PsychoSniper is half the people on this board.

In fact, he's me.

[Dreadnought]

He's like the Blob. Devouring everything he touches and turning it into himself, thus growing and growing to ridiculous proportions!

[Mechanurgist]

He's like the Blob. Devouring everything he touches and turning it into himself, thus growing and growing to ridiculous proportions!

I just watched that movie ('58 version) like two days ago.