Subhuman's advice corner (featuring Tingel Tangel on drums)

Subhuman · Post by **Subhuman** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:49 pm

Having trouble figuring out what your girlfriend really wants? Having trouble finding a girlfriend, period? Feeling depressed, confused, angry? Or just need a new muffin recipe? Come, let's talk.

Tingel Tangel · Post by **Tingel Tangel** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:12 pm

Can this be a joint thread for the both of us? Like, the gay man and the woman giving out advice together?

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:15 pm

I seriously doubt Subhuman's credibility.

Tingel Tangel · Post by **Tingel Tangel** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:23 pm

I'm pretty sure his muffin recipes are better than mine. I only do tarte.
Also, he'd be better at judging hair styles for men.
His credibility's aight.

Subhuman · Post by **Subhuman** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:51 pm

To answer your question, Dreddy: No, your small penis is nothing to be ashamed of. We can't all be born with Dennis Rodman's rod. Embrace your physical imperfections, but don't flaunt them. (Leave webcams out of the equation, for instance.) And in fact, there's a sizable segment of the female population who either don't care about size or just plain don't like the giant cocks. Size queens are the minority. What matters more is your actual technique, ie. the "it's not what you've got but how you use it" line.

Mandalorian FaLLouT GoD · Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:24 pm

Tingel Tangel wrote:I'm pretty sure his muffin recipes are better than mine. I only do tarte.
Also, he'd be better at judging hair styles for men.
His credibility's aight.

Unless Sub has some miracle rack/vagina, I'm pretty sure he can't read my womans mind.
And I'm bald, so his hair style deductions are out.

VasikkA · Post by **VasikkA** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:09 pm

A killer muffin recipe would be nice.

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:26 pm

Subhuman is constantly talking about how 'small my penis' is. Despite the fact that the picture was shot from a shitty perspective, it is kinda scary that he's so interested in this 'small penis' of mine. I think it might be like with 10 year old kids that discover that the opposite sex is kinda interesting and by teasing it, they get some sort of reaction or so. But since Subhuman <strike>failed</strike> missed out at this stage, he thinks he can get my attention with that. So far successful. Subhuman, why don't you ask me if we can go out for dinner, so I can say NO YOU STUPID OH SHIT I HEAR THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!!!111!1111oneone, and make you cry?

I hereby quit defending my dick, because my dick is awesome. My dick wins.

Thor Kaufman · Post by **Thor Kaufman** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:32 pm

Feelings Online

Tingel Tangel · Post by **Tingel Tangel** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:32 pm

Thor Kaufman · Post by **Thor Kaufman** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:33 pm

how many cupcakes fit in your vagina, tingel?

Tingel Tangel · Post by **Tingel Tangel** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:37 pm

I only like small cupcakes. Large cupcakes hurt more than they stimulate. It's more about how a man uses his cupcake than how big it is.

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:39 pm

See except for Subhuman (and some other insignificant internet fags) no one ever complained.

Edit:

They love me on prison parties. We always make a big drop-the-soap contest and the winner usually can't sit for a few weeks till the internal lacerations heal off.

Blargh · Post by **Blargh** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:47 pm

Lowland Tooligan wrote:kinda scary

An apt description of the event that triggered this wearisome writing point . . .

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:48 pm

What's Blargh's exact function?

Blargh · Post by **Blargh** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:54 pm

Why does Marmaduke <deleted> ?

Surreptitiously,
INQUIRING MINDS

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 4:55 pm

Blargh is probably IRL stuttering lol.

Subhuman · Post by **Subhuman** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 5:06 pm

Dreddy wrote:[Long-winded, defensive, neurosis-ridden post involving an MS Paint drawing of a penis]

I rest my case.

VasikkA wrote:A killer muffin recipe would be nice.

Done. These rock and are stupidly easy to make.

Nigella Lawson's Pear and Ginger Muffins

250g flour
2 tsp baking powder
150g caster sugar (superfine)
75g light brown sugar
1 tsp ground ginger
142 ml sour cream
125 ml vegetable oil
1 tbsp honey
2 eggs
1 large pear (about 300g), peeled, cored, and diced (or skip the peeling, who gives a rat's)

1. Preheat the oven to 200 Celcius and line a 12-bun muffin tin with those little paper cups.

2. Add the dry ingredients to a bowl.

3. Add the wet ones to another bowl.

4. Fold the wet ingredients into the dry.

5. Add the pear and mix it in well, then divide the batter evenly into the cute little muffin cups.

6. Sprinkle each muffin with a pinch of brown sugar and bake for 20 mins. Let cool, then devour. These are good at breakfast.

Blargh · Post by **Blargh** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 5:10 pm

Pheasant wrote:lol

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 5:49 pm

[image of subhuman with grotesquely ugly chicks]