Duck and Cover

...Wow. If anyone else saw this movie, you know the source of my pain.

I honestly can say that Dragon Wars was one of the worst movies I've seen in my life. Within the first five minutes, my friend Matt and I knew that this movie was gonna suck, and we ended up pissing people off because we were constantly making jokes and laughing throughout the movie.

I mean, the best scene was where the main protagonist, his female friend, and his black best friend are driving on the highway, and they acutally hit one of the main bad guys. They get out, and after they see him get up, the black guy pulls a gun on him; the bad guy breaks it, and the black guy soon after steals the bad guy's sword, saying "Oh yeah, whassup now man?" The sword shrinks, and as the bad guy turns back to the main character, the black guy tries to hit him and gets electrified. With the bad guy distracted, the other two just drive away, and the bad guy gets hit by another car. The next day, the black guy is back at work, with a bandage on his head. I mean, ain't that just fuckin' stupid?

Earlier on though, they had stopped at some gas station and the chick asked if the black guy would be alright, and the main character was rubbing his forehead, saying "Don't worry, he'll be fine." It was at that point that my friend came up with another joke.

You know when you roll clay or dough inbetween your hands and it flattens out to become something cylindrical? Basically, the joke was that he was pretending to do that to his dick, still saying "Don't worry, he'll be fine."

I can understand that, dissected and without having actually been there at the time, it's not nearly as funny, but still... I laughed so hard people started to whisper to me to shut the hell up.

In any case, we left five minutes early and walked into the room for Shoot Em Up, waited about an hour for it to start, but... I mean, DAMN.

DRAGON WARS SUCKED HORSECOCK.

What's ironic is that it was a Korean movie, with American actors, and in Korea, they honestly believe it is one of the best movies in their nation's history.

Makes you wonder if they've managed to correctly translate the Departed-- all those fucks might have made the media people think there was a problem with their translations, you know?

Wasnt this obvious?

entertainer wrote:Wasnt this obvious?

To those who faced the horrors of it, yes. I'm simply warning those who haven't.

Mistakes of the past need-not be made again.

Well, you dont need to watch it to know.
This is perfect indication of fail:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0372873/

thanks for sharing this, Danny.

PiP wrote:thanks for sharing this, Danny.

Just doing my part to protect through the word of mouth

Come on, it has the giant monster camp factor. It cannot be worse than these:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417686/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0415160/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190374/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0406728/

Manoil wrote:...Wow. If anyone else saw this movie, you know the source of my pain.

I honestly can say that Dragon Wars was one of the worst movies I've seen in my life. Within the first five minutes, my friend Matt and I knew that this movie was gonna suck

Shut the fuck up, you saw a movie called "Dragon Wars."

Cthulhu wrote:Come on, it has the giant monster camp factor. It cannot be worse than these:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417686/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0415160/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190374/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0406728/

LOL I worked at Harkins (movie theater) when the (first?) D&D movie came out - it was off the screen in about 2 weeks

edit - Also, you'd think a movie about bisexual naked women would be better, even if they ARE vampires or whatever. :dusktildawn:

I was actually about to see dragon wars a couple weeks ago since there was pretty much nothing out but we decided against it and I forget what we saw or did instead.

Manoil wrote:I honestly can say that Dragon Wars was one of the worst movies I've seen in my life. Within the first five minutes, my friend Matt and I knew that this movie was gonna suck

I, as did any reasonably intelligent human being not born in the last decade and a half in the United States of America, knew just from the title and trailer that this was going to be a shitfest of stupid. How did it take you so long that you actually PAID for tickets (I assume the money was borrowed or stolen, that or you are overpaid) and started watching. Not only that, but it took you five minutes still to realize your folly.

Manoil wrote:...Wow. If anyone else saw this movie, you know the source of my pain.

It is self inflicted - seppuku without the release of death at the end.

jetbaby wrote:

Manoil wrote:I honestly can say that Dragon Wars was one of the worst movies I've seen in my life. Within the first five minutes, my friend Matt and I knew that this movie was gonna suck

I, as did any reasonably intelligent human being not born in the last decade and a half in the United States of America, knew just from the title and trailer that this was going to be a shitfest of stupid. How did it take you so long that you actually PAID for tickets (I assume the money was borrowed or stolen, that or you are overpaid) and started watching. Not only that, but it took you five minutes still to realize your folly.

Manoil wrote:...Wow. If anyone else saw this movie, you know the source of my pain.

It is self inflicted - seppuku without the release of death at the end.

It was Matt's idea to go, and despite the fact that I had told him it was probably gonna suck, he insisted to see it anyway. The only real reason he had remote interest in seeing it was that the first time we saw the trailer, he had dissappointedly mistaken it for a gears of war movie (before seeing the title at the end of the trailer).
Besides, he used to work at AMC for 3 years, and we still know half the people working in the theater. I haven't paid for a movie ticket since... I dunno, Scary Movie 3? I can't really pinpoint how far back it was that I stopped doing it, but yeah. It's been a helluva long time.

And honestly... seppuku seemed like a real release halfway into that loss of 2 hours out my life.

Manoil wrote:And honestly... seppuku seemed like a real release halfway into that loss of 2 hours out my life.

whatever happened to walking out of the theater?

also: the film described in this thread sounds fucking wicked; it's obvious you wouldn't know a good film if it bukkake'd all over your face, danny boy.

atoga wrote:

Manoil wrote:And honestly... seppuku seemed like a real release halfway into that loss of 2 hours out my life.

whatever happened to walking out of the theater?

also: the film described in this thread sounds fucking wicked; it's obvious you wouldn't know a good film if it bukkake'd all over your face, danny boy.

I told Matt we should've, but at the time, I think he just really wanted to see something good enough to justify staying even a little bit longer.

And films don't Bukkake on people. Unless of course, somehow, you've seen and expirienced this...
What films have bukkake'd all over your face? Go ahead and namedrop

I'm sure some showings of the Rocky Horror Picture Show involve bukkaking.

Wolfman Walt wrote:I'm sure some showings of the Rocky Horror Picture Show involve bukkaking.

...Touché.

Tally:
Manoil- 0
Atoga- 0
Wolfman Walt- 1

yup... evean cazimodo there make you look like a dweeb Manoil

Goretheglowingone wrote:yup... evean cazimodo there make you look like a dweeb Manoil

Don't need help with that thank you

Who the fuck is "Matt"

Yeah well I actually didn't wanna write in this thread because I read about this movie and it's so fucking bad...

But I hate fuckwits that mention their own friends towards 'strangers' in a way as if we all fucking know each other since we're 3.