Duck and Cover

it wasn't very good and I'm tempted to say it was a little worse than the first one which wasn't very good either. It was mildly entertaining but for the most part it's pretty much just as you expected it.

Any predaliens?

Haven't seen it yet, and I haven't seen the first one either..

To me it seems the big failure is that they left the future, and went to our present...

C'mon, it's honestly not that interesting.
It's another trend among movies, that it has to relate to things we know from our lives, and we can easily see that in the last 50 or so movies..

The latest I can mention is "I am Legend" where there's more than a minute of Shrek in it..

I don't know if I'm making sense, but to me a good half of Sci-Fi movies were about the setting the main characters live in, but that's only interesting if we don't know about it!

I don't know why they have to butcher the movies, making them into horror flicks ala "Freddy vs Jason" which is more parody than anything else..

Tell me poop, is the movie at least free of "ACSHUN CAM SHAKER TECHNAMAGOLOGY", or couldn't you see half the action because some retarded director decided it to be better if people could relate to the movie and "feel" they're there? (which you might have guessed, is another pet-peeve of mine regarding movies)

Hi, my name is Bob and I like good old American Flicks, going out with my friends, yelling at the screen, munching on popcorn. Whoops, Larry and Jane are calling on my cell phone, let me turn off my i pod for a sec.

AvP was such an abominable piece of shit that I don't have the slightest intention of seing the sequel

Do any of you know the bit that Patton Oswalt does about his Tivo? Basically, he equates it to a special ed kid who's been promised this really simple prize and is willing to try so, so, so hard to get it that it'll do almost anything...

That's kind of how I feel about AvP 2.

It's a movie that tries really, really hard. It desperately wants to be both Aliens and Predator 2 but it can't pull off either one. It wants to impress the fans of both franchises to the point that it overtly rips off scenes from both of those films, almost directly, almost shot for shot... from the slow pan off of a terrified face, up the tree to a Predator skinned corpse, to an almost shot for shot retread of the APC sequence from Aliens...

Its really hard to watch though... it's relentlessly dark and it almost all takes place in the rain, and the ever popular shaky-cam makes an appearance here. It also makes the deadly mistake of forcing uninteresting, unsympathetic human characters onto us. Seriously, how much can we care about a fucking Pizza Delivery Boy when there's a Predator running around doing mop-up on his buddies' mistakes?

All in all, there are a couple of things in the film that aren't completely reprehensible, they give us some nice scenes that we haven't seen before, like Xenomorphs in a maternity ward, but realistically it isn't enough to cover an uninspired story and crappy construction. It probably is better than the first film, but at the same time, what is there to make us care?

Personally, I think that they need to get someone to make an AVP movie that's actually set in and around the time period of Aliens, so at least we have some humans who have a reason to be dealing with these things and we at least get to see them rape the franchise in a way that makes slightly more sense.

Does anyone else feel like this piece of shit (as well as the previous piece of shit) should have come out and odd 10 years ago or so? AvP games haven't been the new black for quite a while now, why start reviving the series that everyone's lost interest in a long time ago with some horrible cinematography? Only the first AvP game (the one on PC) was good, others that followed it were crap. I actually remember that game being scary about 10 years ago when I played it (nothing makes you jump more than a freakin' facehugger in the middle of a dark corridor, just start throwing grenades and run).

The series is dead. People have lost interest. Forget this fucking retarded revival.

Frater Perdurabo wrote:Only the first AvP game (the one on PC) was good, others that followed it were crap.

As I recall, the second game was PC only too, and an extremely good, very atmospheric shooter. The expansion totally sucked though.

I enjoyed the second, never played the first. Then my sister's ex stole it from me =(

At any rate, the movies were a lie. Should've set them in the Aliens time period. Space Marines, please?

Wasn't as bad as the doom movie...

Okay maybe it was....

But it was still A Critical Hit Of 129 HP Worth of bullshit.

Well, see, I have an issue with the films as they are presented for one basic reason.

I have taste.

Okay, no, seriously... See, to me, the Alien franchise has always been about the preservation of the planet. They films deal with feminism, and the family unit, and the concepts of rape and impregnation, yes, but at their center, each and every one of them revolves around Ripley or another human doing their damnedest to keep the Xenomorphs away from Earth because they know, just as we the viewer knows, that if even one of those things gets mixed into a human population as large as the one Earth supports, its only a matter of time until the entire planet is a hive...

The films are all about preserving ourselves, not just as a species, but as a place in the universe. The third film didn't deal with it as strongly as the others did, but if you ever have the chance to read William Gibson's treatment of the film it not only escalates the threat presented in Aliens but escalates the human response, it becomes about public knowledge of the threat and the preparation of a major armed response. Alien: Resurrection also focuses on the theme as well, ending as it does with Ripley struggling to destroy the hybrid before they get far enough into Earth's atmosphere that any of it's biological material may survive. The fact that we are shown a vision of the planet that is little more than a burnt out garbage dump shortly there-after has little to do with whether or not the planet is worth saving... there is little question because it is home, no matter what, and you must always do whatever you can to preserve your home.

But the AvP films don't care about that. They're slasher films. They're all about blood and tits and swearing, and they don't even have the balls to include any of those things. These are films that don't care about continuity, they don't care about what anything that came before them means, and the very fact that they try to establish the backstory of the Weyland-Yutani Corporation and give them a reason to be so interested in the Xenomorphs in the future is just more spit on the face of a line of vastly superior films. Even Alien 3 at its mot poorly shot and overly rushed isn't as bad as a single second of these films.

They simply do not work as Alien films, and the really shitty part is that they don't work as Predator films either. The Predator films are all about mystique, the unknowable nature of these superior hunting machines that come to kill us for simple sport. These are films that are designed to show us how the antelope feels when it scents a big game hunter hiding in the brush somewhere, and that these aliens eventually find themselves up against the human equivalent of a lion reassures us, it makes us not afraid.

It is fascinating to us when we watch these films and we see the Predator just going around and doing these almost inscrutable alien things... going about its rituals and hunting man in its own way. We can infer what it is doing most of the time, its like watching a pantomime in a lot of ways, but unlike a pantomime we cannot read the face of the alien, we don't actually know what it's thinking and we certainly don't know what its feeling. The Predator is an almost perfect example of a sentient alien presented on film. And this is what makes us cheer all the more when Arnold or Danny Glover kick the shit out of it, right? We have seen something that we don't understand and then are shown that we are still capable of beating it's ugly face in.

But AvP doesn't care about that either. It wants big scary tool-using monsters from space who might or might not be friendly to counteract the big scary bug people from space who are always the enemy. There's no attention to detail, we don't know what the Predator is thinking in these films because it isn't thinking, its just going around killing shit. Yeah, sure, AvP 2 tries to make the Predator a real character every once in a while, we get to see him use all of his neat little Predator tools, and the cloak looks mostly like it should, but what do we care? We aren't seeing anything new. We've seen what the little med-kit does and the movie we saw it in was way better even if it did have wacky voodoo gangster priests and people wearing tinfoil suits.

Long story short, these movies are just destined to fail. They have no comprehension of what their source material is actually about, and even if they did, they wouldn't care, because they don't respect those movies. Modern thirteen year olds don't like those movies so why the fuck should anyone make a movie like that?

Me? A nerd? Never.

What he said.

Wolfman Walt wrote:What he said.

Uh, thanks. I guess.

Anytime? You pretty much said everything that can be said. The franchise is a total disregard of what both franchises are about in an attempt to cash in on fans and 13 year olds. Anything I can say you already said and most likely stated it better.

What is this, RPGCODEX now?

Predator is awesome

Alien is awesome

Merging them for fucktard audiences who yell at the screen and play consoles sucks ass.

THE END

Wolfman Walt wrote:Anytime? You pretty much said everything that can be said. The franchise is a total disregard of what both franchises are about in an attempt to cash in on fans and 13 year olds. Anything I can say you already said and most likely stated it better.

Yeah, sorry, I probably should have just ":postcount:"-ed that last response. I have a strange compulsion to respond to every response to everything that I say on the internet. Much as I'm doing now.



And no Strider, this is not in fact RPGCODEX, I just have a hard time shutting up sometimes.

:NMA moment:

Wolfman Walt wrote:Anytime? You pretty much said everything that can be said. The franchise is a total disregard of what both franchises are about in an attempt to cash in on fans and 13 year olds. Anything I can say you already said and most likely stated it better.

Basically. I would still be all for a well written, well directed REAL AvP set in the future combining all the aspects of the two series that were so eloquently (qfe:drunk:) described above.

Wolfman Walt wrote:disregard of what both franchises are about in an attempt to cash in on fans and 13 year olds.

pretty much like Fallout 3 eh?

PiP wrote:

Wolfman Walt wrote:disregard of what both franchises are about in an attempt to cash in on fans and 13 year olds.

pretty much like Fallout 3 eh?

QFE