Susan's Sunday night reviews : Max Payne

S4ur0n27 · Post by **S4ur0n27** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:58 am

I thought a few people 'round here anticipated the movie; I'm surprised nobody reviewed it yet.

Anyway, I went to see it tonight, and sadly it's pretty bad.

As a standalone movie, it's at best a badly directed flick with hints of inspiring ideas, and a boring ending.

But as a Max Payne adaptation, it's really a disappointment. They really overdid the Valkyrie thing; it was okay in the first few scenes where they scare off junkies, but at the end it looks like you're in the shitty movie with dragons and matthew mcconnaughtey.

And I thought the game was about gunfighting and being an impervious to bullets, coldblooded, disillusioned, badass cop? They turned this into a lenghty thriller. There are like 3 action scenes in the movie, and kind of short and uninspiring. It's sad because Mark Wahlberg does a good job, they got the art style right, everything is dark, snowy, gritty and slick.

John Moore screwed everything up, but it's not like it's surprising, coming from the director of Flight of the Phoenix?

Olga Kurylenko is ultra hot though, and I'm looking forward to Quantum of Solace because, in part, of her.

Post by **King of Creation** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:03 am

I was really disappointed that they completely did away with the Mafia plot.

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:03 am

I read some of the reviews on it and despite my best hopes of them just making the Valkyrie bits drug sequences they made it a supernatural thriller. I expect that Street Fighter movie coming out sometime soon to be a noir romance between Chun Li and Blanka.

S4ur0n27 · Post by **S4ur0n27** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:08 am

King of Creation wrote:I was really disappointed that they completely did away with the Mafia plot.

True. They completely changed the plot and the characters.

Vlad Lem is non-existant, Gognitti appears only as a self-depot place(?).

Post by **King of Creation** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:29 am

And the whole Nicole Horne thing was changed. Instead of her sending Valkyr junkies to kill the DA wife of Max, BB, a heavy set aging man, somehow manages to kill her and the baby and then escape through the second story window of the house with the agility of Spiderman.

Stainless · Post by **Stainless** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 6:00 am

I was looking pretty forward to this. Won't bother then. Thanks Susan

I already knew that vlad wasn't in there, because of the cast of characters thing. Which is pretty disappointing, since Vlad was a very well done character.

rabidpeanut · Post by **rabidpeanut** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:33 am

Hollywood never fails to fail.

S4ur0n27 · Post by **S4ur0n27** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 12:44 pm

King of Creation wrote:And the whole Nicole Horne thing was changed. Instead of her sending Valkyr junkies to kill the DA wife of Max, BB, a heavy set aging man, somehow manages to kill her and the baby and then escape through the second story window of the house with the agility of Spiderman.

Ha, stop it

The more I think about it, the less I like it. Basically, all the good stuff is in the trailer.

I totally disliked the way Mona Sax appears at the end, saves Max, then kills a negro, and then disappears without nobody seeing her, even though the whole place is being invaded by the tactical unit.

Dreadnought · Post by **Dreadnought** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 12:50 pm

I watched it and it was crap. I was throwing popcorn at emos, because it was too salty and because they were loud. I'm not surprised why they were loud... the movie was disappointing.

POOPERSCOOPER · Post by **POOPERSCOOPER** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:40 pm

I was going to see it but it got even worse reviews than I expected so I didn't go. I'm sorry I couldn't have warned you susan.

S4ur0n27 · Post by **S4ur0n27** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 11:45 pm

POOPERSCOOPER wrote:I was going to see it but it got even worse reviews than I expected so I didn't go. I'm sorry I couldn't have warned you susan.

Bah it's okay. Someone has to sacrifices himself. For once, you're not the one.

Nicolai · Post by **Nicolai** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:53 am

I was thinking about maybe catching it at the cinema, but, eh, I guess not

Post by **Manoil** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 4:22 am

Yeah... depressing. I didn't see it, but... the simple idea that one of the best-written games to date was put into cinema and completely fucked over is more than enough to make it all worth skipping, curiosity-entwined as it may be.

The simple idea that there was never any whiny Jersey voice saying, "Jack Lupino wants ya DED!" is enough to bring a tear to my eye.
Shit happens.