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"Hard Traveling"(intro) by The Philadelphia Lawyer

Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 9:20 pm
by The Philadelphia Lawyer
(Intro)

Woodrow's father leaned over and spit into a pot, his green sickly face wrinkled in disgust. An old stiff blanket covered his shoulders but didn't seem to provide any warmth. In the corner a woman slept in an unnatural position, her yellow teeth showing from under her top lip. Her bruised bony arms lay lifeless around her. This was not Woodrow's mother, not the one that he had known and loved at the beginning of his life.

The cold of the Philadelphia spring air seeped through the cracks in their metal home, a reminder of the cruelty that existed beyond their makeshift hut. Woodrow, the fresh faced boy of 12 slipped through the leather covering and out into the morning. He stared across the mud, the toxic water, the dead, the living, the insane, and the evil. He stared not at these things but through them, at the greater purpose in life that he sought on the other side.


HARD TRAVELING

"I been a-havin'some hard travelin',
I thought you knowed.
I been a-havin'some hard travelin',
Way down the road.
I been a-havin'some hard travelin',
Hard ramblin', hard gamblin',
I been a-havin'some hard travelin', Lord."


PART 1

Woodrow's mother coughed and sat up, her eyes were dark pits and Woody knew she had gotten back into a drug called "jet". Dad was with Hugo, scavenging the wetlands knows as the Philly Docks. Woodrow lived in a shack under a highway just outside of Philadelphia with his mother and father. His mother was born in New Jersey and moved to Philadelphia to avoid the Raider Gang problem that plagued her hometown. Woody's father may be the most interesting man in the whole state of Pennsylvania. He was born in California, grew up in Sacremento, and joined the Brotherhood of Steel at age 18. As a B.O.S. Paladin Woodow's father was sent off with an expiditionary force bound for the east coast. They would set foot in almost every single state from Nevada to Virginia. Woody's father told his son stories from his journey, and his son loved hearing them.

Woody's father returned along with Hugo, the area's general trader. They seemed rushed, like something bad had happened on their scavenging journey.
"Annie, your husband is sick" Said Hugo in his simple minded manner

"What..? No..." Slurred Woody's mother, obviously under the influence of some serious drugs

"No, Annie... he's sick. We were out on the wetlands and he just keeled over, I had to carry him all the way home. He must have vomited 15 times before we made it back here"

Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 9:34 pm
by King of Creation
Interesting so far.

Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 11:14 pm
by The Philadelphia Lawyer
Thanks. Its a work in progress. The full story will be written over the summer, right now school is getting in the way. Stay tuned

Posted: Mon May 24, 2010 12:10 am
by Taco-Hero
I think its good so far, I especially liked the intro, it sets the mood very well.

In the second part though I think you need to show more. Like for the mother describe her more instead of saying she was on drugs to let the reader fill in the blanks.

Posted: Mon May 24, 2010 12:23 am
by The Philadelphia Lawyer
There will be more about the mother. I'm not even done with this intro part. Thanks for the feedback