Interview with CloudNineGT

[Jeff]

This lovely fella joined the Discord so I asked him a bunch of questions, I can't be fucked with the introductions any more just read the thing or don't, there's a cocktail recipe somewhere in there and some other good things. Thanks CloudNine!

Gimp Mask: You pretty much revealed who you are and where you work and live by giving me your email address, which I think is very trusting, considering your post history. Do you think DACers are a honest and trustworthy lot? Or maybe you just gave me some random dude's email address; if so, whoever is reading this right now, you're in for one helluva ride buddy and I can't wait for your answers.

CloudNineGT: Eh, DAC was sort of always a place I got to express myself without moderation and confide in strangers. That being said I’ve already been doxxed a few times in my life and don’t have much to hide.


GM: On DAC you're best known for being a gay (ex) junkie. Do you have any other notable traits? Like can you sing or something?

C9GT: I suppose that isn’t exciting enough? Other than being gay and stuffing drugs inside of me I spend most of my creative energy keeping an eye on the restaurants I operate with two other business partners, where aside from being an annoying asshole manager type I also get to make fancy cocktails. Here is the SECRET RECIPE for a recent one that I enjoy:

PARSELTONGUE - Rocks Glass

2 oz Banhez Mezcal
¾ oz Coconut Cream
¾ oz Lime Juice
¾ oz Agave Syrup

Muddle Mezcal with lots of cilantro and cucumber, shake over ice. Open hawthorn strain into rocks glass and top with ice if needed. Garnish with cucumber round pierced with cilantro spring on the rim of the glass.


GM: I'm pretty much straight but I occasionally jack off to gay porn and am no stranger to butt stuff; I've toyed with the idea of manly sex sometimes but I feel like it would probably be a let-down in reality. Ultimately I feel like some fantasies can be more fulfilling if left unfulfilled, what do you think?

C9GT: I dunno the infrequent times I’ve had sex with a vagina I was pretty stoked on it, as long as you end up with a fun partner why wouldnt it be awesome?

You may want to invest in some poppers while you get used to bottoming.


GM: Your DAC profile says that your occupation is ". . . slave to a fortune 500 company." You own(?) a restaurant / bar now. How did that change come about and are you happy with the decision?

C9GT: I’m honestly not sure what the fuck I was talking about when I filled that in, nor do I remember why. As to my illustrious career in babysitting horny alcoholics I suppose that is a bit of a tale.

I’d kicked what was becoming a decade long heroin addiction maybe two months previous and I managed to get a job as a busser at a fancy-ish restaurant a bus ride away from the halfway house I was staying at. My life was in complete shambles. I didn’t know what the fuck else to do and that halfway house sucked so I spent most of my time at work learning everything I could and working hard to distract myself. Eventually years went by, promotions happened, networking, all that stuff, and I finally got the chance to create a place from the ground up which is where I spend my time now. I honestly enjoy the hell out of what I do and I couldn’t imagine doing anything else- I get paid well to be creative, active, work with my hands, and socialise with people having a good time. I also do anything from bartending to cooking to maintenance work on the building so my job rarely gets old.


GM: How did you overcome your heroin addiction? Was it because of a delicious home cooked meal, which then led you to pursue a career in the restaurant / bar business?

C9GT: The glamour of being a heroin addict, though hard to resist, eventually gave out on me. I robbed my roommates stash and shot all of it. Shoved some possessions in a backpack and left for a detox. Never looked back. It's tiring work being on the hustle all day and I don't think I had any more mysteries to explore in that world. The amount of bridges I burned and friends I lost is long and sad, heck DAC poster Jetbaby was a long time friend who rightfully wants nothing to do with me anymore.

Overcoming things was with a LOT of work on myself and help from people who cared about me. I wish I could say there was more to it, but it's basically a pull yourself up from the bootstraps situation. 12-step programs helped for a time, but eventually I think I just sort of grew up.


GM: I've never shot up anything, but I've done OC and codeine and they mostly just made me tired, never really got much out of that stuff. What did I do wrong?

C9GT: Well obviously you should have put it in a needle. And if you put meth, ketamine, and H in the same rig then you’ve got a real somethin cooking. I called them wackyballs and you should not watch Batman Beyond during this experiment.


GM: Why are gays named after animals? Like otters and bears and all that. If I was gay I would probably be a dragon and breathe fire down the blowholes of every dolphin in the tri-state area.

C9GT: Excellent question! Gays actually transform into their animal counterparts any time someone is able to give “snaps� in appreciation without eye rolling. So you could very well be able to live out your lizard-rimjob fantasy.


GM: Quoting you here: "I saw a scary movie once that said if I do heroin I'll end up taking a double ended dildo at a black dealer's house for a crowd pointing flashlights at my asshole." Did that ever happen or did you just end up getting your arm amputated?

C9GT: That movie is 100% accurate in all ways except for the pupil response during the using sequences.


GM: Once upon a time a man called Ian Miles "Rex Exitium" Cheung received a HotorNot rating of 2.8 out of 10. Is that a fair score in your opinion?

C9GT: Oh I don’t know, I think I’d fuck him but I probably wouldnt be very nice or stick around after.


GM: The LGBT+ community seems very fragmented with a lot of in-fighting at the moment. Do you agree and how do you feel about the situation?

C9GT: It’s always been like that, but you are right to see that things have changed a lot. The gay culture I grew up with is fading into the background and whatever all these genderqueer kiddos are up to is the new thing. There's a bit of a loss because what was once a close-knit community has moved away from counterculture and is becoming mainstream. I can live with that though as it sure feels like my chances of getting hatecrimed have gone down.


GM: How do you think "the never ending story" thread on DAC will end?

C9GT: Probably with a dozen posts by spam bots.


GM: How does a Syrian end up in Washington state? This one just sounds like a set-up for a racist joke. Maybe you can come up with a punchline?

C9GT: God I really did try. Boring answer is my dad moved here to work at a paper mill.


GM: This is a big, vague and open-ended question so answer as you please, but what are your thoughts on the current situation in Syria? Also do you have any family living there or something?

C9GT: Fuck Israel, and as far as anyone in my family knows they are all either dead or so scattered to the winds that nobody would find them.


GM: Are you disappointed that Dac Con 2012 never materialized?

C9GT: I can’t imagine this group organizing anything at all, so, yes I am horribly disappointed.

Just imagine the panel discussions and everyone could wear lanyards with joke names on them. Oh boy.

Conventions smell bad.


GM: Imagine the world in 3021. A lot of things can go wrong in one thousand years, but what would you say is your biggest fear?

C9GT: Chimpanzees. Have you seen how they can tear off your skin? Like it would happily eat you and know it was eating a sentient creature. Fuck. I really think we should get rid of them.


GM: Here's a fun fact: I have a Tom of Finland tattoo. Feel old yet?

C9GT: Thats hot.


GM: Anything else you'd like to add?

C9GT: I miss Franz Schubert. Where is that fella?

[SenisterDenister]

[Hyacinth]

https://youtu.be/OvkxFAKemGo

[Mismatch]

Good read, tho maybe a tad too brief on the answers. On the other hand I guess ppl won't read it if they're too long.

[Jeff]

He is too busy starting bum fights, they will do anything for a plate of soup. But yeah a good one

[CloudNineGT]

https://youtu.be/OvkxFAKemGo

You've found me