On oils.

[Jeff]

It seems like everybody is talking about oils these days. “The oils are running out”, they say. Indeed, the biggest struggle yet to face mankind may be formulated thus: what are we to do about the oils? This, it would appear, is the existential impetus behind the move towards renewable resources.

But perhaps we can have our cake and eat it too, for we have ignored the most essential of oils: the endogenous renewable oil whose source is mankind itself. I am talking about the oil secreted by the oil glands in our bodies. This presents an untapped resource with potentially unlimited potential.

Instead of focusing on wind, sun, ice, or other mystical "elements", let us be the means and end to the energy crisis as it stands. What I propose is this: We need to concentrate our efforts on developing a somatic drill rig suit with a built-in skin pore pump-jack. The suit is to be worn day and night. It is similar in concept to the water suit in the movie Dune, except that instead of preserving our water it extracts our essential oils pretty much.

These oils are gathered into a tank at the back of the suit and are to be deposited bi-weekly (this should be a sufficient interval according to my calculations) at designated oil-gathering stations from whence they are pumped into an oil reserve. This oil is then used to power Bitcoin. Over time we will have enough Bitcoin to afford to buy normal oil and then we can even drive around, in cars.

Some have raised concerns about the effects of this process on the human body. Would this not de-lubricate our skin, leaving it parched and fragile? These fears are unfounded, for do we not have store shelves chock-full of skin lotions? Just put lotion all over your skin after you have un-jacked from the rig to take a shower. While this might seem like a lot of work, trust me when I say that it is in fact a small price to pay for the preservation of humanity.