Words of wisdom, from the unwise.

requiem_for_a_starfury · Thu Oct 02, 2003 12:49 am

When you plug in the headphones and slap an AC/DC cd into your computer at full volume don't forget to disable the system sounds especially if you've installed novelty chirps and beeps, because they GET VERY LOUD as well.

Ouch!

If you are sitting perched over your keyboard, be careful if you get the urge to start headbanging to said AC/DC cd, because catching your head on the edge of your monitor case hurts!

Double Ouch!

Stainless · Post by **Stainless** » Thu Oct 02, 2003 4:52 am

heheh

Almost as good as spilling soft drink all over my keyboard and leaving it for a couple of hours.

ExtremeDrinker · Post by **ExtremeDrinker** » Thu Oct 02, 2003 4:58 am

When you put new RAM into the computer, be sure it's securely in place before you set the box upright and turn it on....I'd never seen such pretty colors shooting from a motherboard before.

Smiley · Post by **Smiley** » Thu Oct 02, 2003 9:27 pm

If RAM-modules don't fit the first time you try to set them into your MB, they wont the second time either, not the third or fourth... but the fifth time when you've finally broken enough pieces of them, don't expect for them to work!

Don't throw your cord-less Keyboard towards your bed if you've spilled anything on it... especially not if there's an aquarium near it!

Don't hit the monitor when you're pissed, hit the case, it's the Computers fault, not the monitor... he's only the messenger.

Even though you just *might* squeeze a card underneath your graphics-card into a PCI, *DON'T*!

iohkus · Post by **iohkus** » Thu Oct 02, 2003 9:37 pm

if you listen to AC/DC you suck.

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Thu Oct 02, 2003 10:48 pm

Remember the song "It's not the meat, it's the motion?" It's the meat. They lied.

Always carry matches, their handy when you least expect it.

Avoid cheap cologne

Don't expect sex on the first date and never pay more then 20 dollars for a lap dance.

Avoid South East LA if you can. I believe Baghdad is now safer then LA.

Don't blame the present for national debt. Blame congress, their the only ones constitutionally able to spend money.

However, blame the president for atleast no having afew secretly assassinated.

No matter who you are. There will always be someone who hates you. Get used to it.

If something seems too good to be true. It is.

Kickers aren't football players. Their kickers.

If you commit suicide, make sure that you succeed or atleast no one knows of it. Suicide, believe it or not, is a crime and you can be arrested and spend time in jail for it.

Speaking of jail, don't believe the hype, unless you're in minimum security, jail sucks. It's like an all guy dorm except no women ever make it in.

Strap · Post by **Strap** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 3:46 am

If you're every working with a razor blade: Always put it down before doing something else with it still in your hand. You could end up cutting yourself pretty bad.

Always blame your friends if you smell like cigarettes.

Always unplug things by pulling on the plug itself, not the cord/cable.

Don't lean on a police car.

the guardian · Post by **the guardian** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 1:41 pm

Think of a good explaination why your computer has fist-shaped dents, THEN beat it up for freezing.

Hammer · Post by **Hammer** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 8:04 pm

Replace dents with bruises, computer with wife, and freezing with failing to make dinner and I can relate.

The Gaijin · Post by **The Gaijin** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 9:55 pm

When you start developing an ulcer, stop putting tabasco on food. No matter how little it is.

Syko · Post by **Syko** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 10:51 am

iohkus wrote:if you listen to AC/DC you suck.

It's better then this nu' metal crap.

Forty-six & Two · Post by **Forty-six & Two** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:36 am

Dont leave your desk lamp leaning on the side of your monitor. It will make a nasty crater in the plastic.

Dont jump off stages at rock concerts. It hurts.

Remember to check if theres a black dog before you jump-sit in a black leather chair. If the case should be a dog was there, it will hurt as well.

Dont tease a biker.

Dont drink to much whiskey and fall alseep in the snow at night.

Soldier87 · Post by **Soldier87** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 9:59 pm

Don't watch too many "Macho-man" movies.

InvisibleMonkey · Post by **InvisibleMonkey** » Sun Oct 12, 2003 1:25 am

I wish my name was Dorky McDorkerson.

Don't flip off a cop for cutting you off on the highway.

Insane-Lark · Post by **Insane-Lark** » Sun Oct 12, 2003 1:30 am

Moderated for your convinience. Take the fight to the Wasteland.

Mandalorian FaLLouT GoD · Sun Oct 12, 2003 3:48 am

Dont ever, EVER, spill aftershave on your nuts.

And if your ram doesnt fit just bend it a bit. thats what i did in my old pentium 120.

Strap · Post by **Strap** » Sun Oct 12, 2003 4:10 am

Don't pop blisters, restraining yourself will make them last a day rather than a week.

Don't spill flamible stuff on yourself, or if you do, wash it off, or get rid of it.

Syko · Post by **Syko** » Sun Oct 12, 2003 5:12 am

Don't ever get toothpaste in your eye.

Forty-six & Two · Post by **Forty-six & Two** » Sun Oct 12, 2003 1:11 pm

Syko wrote:Don't ever get toothpaste in your eye.

That goes for toe nails as well.

The wording of the advice for that would be: keep your face away from your feet when you cut your toe nails.

Syko · Post by **Syko** » Sun Oct 12, 2003 2:04 pm

Don't spray deodorant near your ass or your balls. It really burns.