Damn Modem...

Soldier87 · Post by **Soldier87** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:05 pm

Ok i have a prob with my modem, see i cant log on to the internet no more, so i can only do it at school now, and i dont know whats wrong with it, i hope it aint fried, but recently every time i try is says that my modem cant be found. and i called up my internet service provider and they said i was connected and they were running ok. so what is wrong? i wont be able to read your replies until monday. but any help would be appreciated, i hope i dont got to spend a couple of hundreds of dollars on my piece of shit new computer, damn, im suing compaq, they sold me a comp wich they said was 256 mb's but when i checked system info it said 248 mb's. now the shit with the modem, it shuts down by itself everyonce in awhile, and i cant connect to the internet, either i have a virus, or compaq is going to pay.

Slave_Master · Post by **Slave_Master** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:07 pm

plz dont come back

Soldier87 · Post by **Soldier87** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:10 pm

dude if you aint going to help then you go away.

InvisibleMonkey · Post by **InvisibleMonkey** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:42 pm

What kind of modem do you use?

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:53 pm

omg u hav a virus

who buys a 256mb sized hd anyway? Your missing space is taken up by a large virus called windows. It takes over your system and makes you operate everything through moving around this 'mouse' you have to buy. Bit of a rip-off, but so far it seems fine.

Try your modem connections inside your computer. Alternatively your modem nodes may need re-calibrating. Get a large magnet and pass it around your modem and any surrounding cards, this should re-magnetize unwanted electron particles stuck on the sub-processor.

Slave_Master · Post by **Slave_Master** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:54 pm

Damn, Megatron, that's some of the soundest tech advice I've ever read. I wish I could have told him. Did you go to an IT school or something?

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 9:01 pm

thnx slave, I got a master degree in IT. Who knew those months typing would lead me to be the computer authority on dac?!

Your modem also may be grubby. Try using a damp cloth and bleach-soaked rag and clean every removable part of your computer. Also are the parts well oiled? The problem may be the flux capacitor isn't sending enough rams too the ICP.

Soldier87 · Post by **Soldier87** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 9:43 pm

Megatron, you are an absolute genious, damn man, i never thought i would like you, but you have surprised me once again. i shall now look at you with a whole new respect. thanks man. I am so fucking happy. i couldnt get on the internet at home for like a week and everything i tried didnt work so thanks dude.

the guardian · Post by **the guardian** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 9:49 pm

Have you tried the bible?

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 9:49 pm

It's alright, us smart peoples have to help our disadvantaged friends out sometimes. Sorry I can't help you do any more homework or something, but us geniuses have to save the world from the incredibly strange creatures who stopped living and became mixed-up zombies

Soldier87 · Post by **Soldier87** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 9:52 pm

Ok, well im not up to how the modem works and stuff, im more of a history buff, but still whether you insulted me or not, ill let it pass, im pretty happy today, once again, thanks dude.

the guardian · Post by **the guardian** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 9:53 pm

You could try formatting the computer and reinstalling everything from scretch.

Soldier87 · Post by **Soldier87** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 9:59 pm

Well i did about a hundred fucking things (exageration) and so i dont know what fixed it, but my computer is connected to a faxer/printer/scanner/copyer, so i did a bunch of unattaching reattaching wires, and pressed a few buttons here and there, like the auto answer on my faxer, and reattached the phone lines, and made sure that the network was up, ooo some more bs, and did a quick virus scan, and finally, took apart my pc real quick and took megatron's advice about cleaning the inside, i didnt try the magnet thing though, i didnt want to take the risk of it being broken, and well im on the internet right now on my pc, so if it was megatron's advice, thanks, if it wasnt, thanks anyways.

the guardian · Post by **the guardian** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 10:05 pm

Actually, the magnet trick realy does the trick. I think I've read on a site once that it resets the modem's settings back to its original state, and so if it had some bugs and such that were slowing it down, it fixes them up.

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 10:10 pm

Yeah, it kinda cleans any metal dust and other negatively charged parts into a positive setting, usually switching the electron flow from the main motherboard through the dot-matrix and back so it cleans any left-over information like viruses or trojans.

the guardian · Post by **the guardian** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 10:16 pm

Do you need to clean the modem afterwards with a wet towel, or is the magnet enough to clear all the metal dust out?

Soldier87 · Post by **Soldier87** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 10:16 pm

If i were to do that next time, would i need to reinstall anything?

the guardian · Post by **the guardian** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 10:18 pm

Well, it's always good to reinstall all the programs on your computer every 2 monthes or so. But it seems rather useless unless you clear the modem with the magnet first, it does most of the job I believe.

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 10:25 pm

I'd suggest a magnet first, then if the problem persists use a wet towel, but no soap. Also take any cds in the drive and leave a magnet on them, this destroys any artifacts or other things. In fact I leave my cds in a magnetic box every night, helps keep them nice a clean.

I suggest you could at least try it soldier. Get some old game that you've used a lot (like Fallout

) and leave a magnet on one side for a minute then switch sides. Afterward put it in your computer and it should have removed extra data clogging up the disc. CDs work a lot like VHS tapes, after a while they degrade and need to be re-calibrated. I'm not 100% sure how it works though, I'm sure other computer experts could verify this info though?

Soldier87 · Post by **Soldier87** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 10:30 pm

Nah dont need other experts, your info sounds truthful enough. Thanks ill keep that in mind.