Need help with post-apocalyptic movie

[RobsH66]

Hey everyone. This is my first time posting on this forum, and I have come bearing a request for help. This isn't exactly Fallout-related, but it does have to do with the post-apocalyptic genre. Read on and I'll explain.

I'm currently in the process of creating a post-apocalyptic animated series, "Fallen Angel". I owe a lot of my inspiration for these movies to the Fallout series, which I have always considered one of the coolest interpretations of a post-apocalyptic future. Because of this, there are many similarities between the setting of my series and that of the Fallout games.

I'm hoping to have the first episode of the series released at some point during this summer. However, I recently decided to begin work on a preview/prologue episode, which I can release much sooner. The preview will show the events of the nuclear war which sets the stage for the actual series. This preview is what I need assistance with.

Before I can start work on the preview, I have to plan out the details of the nuclear war itself, and then I have to write a script for the preview. I have been thinking these things over for a while, and I could really use some help and ideas from some other people with knowledge on this subject. I figured that people familiar with the Fallout universe will probably be some of the best people I could ask for help, which is why I am here.

Anyways, if you're interested in helping, here's some more information on the series and its preview.


The series follows a girl by the name of Sera, a warrior living in the post-apocalyptic wastes following a nuclear war that decimated the earth's population. The series takes place about 20 years after the war, in what was once the southwest United States. The surviving population has crumbled into anarchy, waging war on each other with whatever weapons they can find, fighting for supplies, food, and gasoline. The setting is based more in fantasy than reality; I figured that a realistic portrayal of a post-war earth didn't have much potential for an action movie, so I chose instead to create a world more like that of the Mad Max movies. Therefore, factors such as radiation (or at least its long-term effects) play a much smaller role in my series than they would in real life. In any case, the series itself is not what I need assistance with. What I'm working on now is the story of the war itself- what caused it, and what happened to the world as a result.

Whatever reason I decide to use has to be able to be linked to a doomsday cult of sorts that will be featured in the series. My idea at the moment is that in the near future (say, about 2010), this cult will secretly invade and take control of a secret nuclear missile base in the United States, and will launch the base's missiles at Russia with intentions to trigger a nuclear exchange (or, as an alternative, the cult could somehow trick the US defenses into thinking there was an impending nuclear attack from Russia, causing the US to fire its missiles before the mistake was revealed).

Whatever idea I decide on will be used in the short preview/prologue episode, which depicts a few graphic scenes of the nuclear war itself. I'm going for a very cinematic feel- I want these sequences to be as powerful and shocking as possible.

I have only just started planning this preview episode, but I already have a few ideas. I think I'm going to tell the story of the war through radio and news broadcasts while displaying various sequences of the destruction. The first portion of the preview will depict the minutes after the missiles are first launched and the world's populations are informed of the impending attacks. Radio broadcasts will be played in the background, with the frightened and confused reporters advising the population to seek shelter. Meanwhile, several sequences are shown of the missiles soaring through the midday sky and descending towards their targets. Then, as the first missile hits, the broadcasts will all cut to silence as a result of the EMP blast, and the next sequences will show the world's cities as they are decimated by the explosions. After this, the preview will continue on to show the survivors as they emerge from their shelters, only to be thrown into chaos and confusion as fights break out over the remaining supplies. Society will quickly fall into anarchy as survivors pick up any weapons they can salvage and use them to slaughter those not ready to defend the supplies they have gathered. In one scene, several men armed with assault rifles throw open the doors of a fallout shelter filled with frightened innocents, and slaughter them in order to steal the rations inside. In one final radio broadcast, an unknown speaker (possibly a reporter or a government official) will send a message to any who are listening, that the extent of the damage and the state of mankind is unknown, and may remain so for a very long time. As he states his final words before ending the transmission, the main character will be introduced onscreen. The title of the series will be displayed, and the preview will end.

That's pretty much everything I've been able to come up with so far. I still need to decide on all the details of the war itself, I need to decide exactly what to show in the preview, I need to come up with a good way to introduce the main character, and I need to write dialogue for all the radio broadcasts.

If you've got any ideas, please post them here or email them to me. If you need more info on anything relating to the series (I realize I didn't give a very good description of the main character, but that's because I don't want to give too much away; however, I'm willing to divulge more info if necessary), feel free to ask. Any help you guys would be able to give me would be very greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

-RobsH66

[ExtremeDrinker]

War starts with a Canadian invasion of Russia through Alaska. Russian oil and stuff stolen, Russia bombs Canada, Canada sends some bombs..US steps in as "peace keepers" and threaten both countries...They bomb the US...That sort of thing?

[jetbaby]

Sounds pretty cool. I'd love to help outwith ideas and such. What primarily sticks out in my mind though is that quick bit about reporters. Basically, a nuclear exchange would be over in a matter of minutes, say 30 minutes from launch to impact from the Russian/Soviet nations' ICBMs to America and vice versa, maybe 15-20 from sub launched missles. Basically, I don't think that the government would warn anyone because that would serve no purpose (assuming this infiltration and launch happens quickly and quietly, and is not a long and drawn out process). I'd personally rather die in a flash than watch society disintigrate in a heartbeat anyways. Have it be more of one of those "Today will be bright and sunny, with temperatures ranging from 85 on up to ::static:: ..." sort of news broadcasts, and a bright flash and mushroom cloud in the distance, seen through a window next to the TV. I dunno. It'll require some work. Personally I'm against the cult thing. I say just go for full on exchange and just have a plot lead up to it. That'll allow for a more concrete plot and reasoning behind everything (like people prepared in fallout shelters and such)

In order for people to be prepared and bunkered in, nice and cozy in their shelters would require advance warning, however this wouldn't work so well with the cult's hijacking of the missle silo(s). It would have to be secretive and quick to make sense. My favorite plots are ones that either have huge lead ups to nuclear exchange (oil wars in the case of Fallout, simple global tensions in <i>Alas, Babylon</i> {which I suggest you read, it may give some good insight or ideas}), or the polar opposite, where it is the distant future and the reasons for the war are decidedly moot because knowing the "why?" of the past won't help the "how?" of the present or that the whys are simply forgotten.

I dunno about everyone else, but personally I'd like to be kept updated on this, it sounds interesting.

Are you personally going to be drawing these? or will they be CG? Regardless, can we see some ideas what the style of animation will be?

[airsoft guy]

War starts with a Canadian invasion of Russia through Alaska. Russian oil and stuff stolen, Russia bombs Canada, Canada sends some bombs..US steps in as "peace keepers" and threaten both countries...They bomb the US...That sort of thing?

It would be nice to see the Canadians grow a pair and light some commies up, but we know that’s not going to happen, they're too busy getting drunk and playing hockey.

I am also opposed to the doomsday cult, those always seem so generic and always badly put together. It's always some right-wing survivalist whackos who got a bone to pick with all the swell guy, Jews, Mexicans, racial slur number twelve, daigos, micks and pretty much everyone else who doesn't like NASCAR or Hitler. Of course some of those whackjob survivalists are the ones who have the fallout shelters in their backyards loaded with bullets and bacon porno films. They're probably not as extreme as those loonies breaking into the base (you're going to have to explain that one, and how they got the codes and all that other hoo-haw) but they are extreme enough to go to Costco and get the 800 pack of toilet paper and the 20 gallon jug of ketchup and put them in their cellar for doomsday.

Have you seen Dr. Strangelove? I like the end of the movie, bombs are going off, music is playing then it fades to black and there go the credits, of course when their credits roll you start to tell the story of what happened after the shit hit the fan.

Now when the guys burst in and mow people down with automatic rifles, why don't we change that to a bunch of guys with machetes and tools and whatnot? Then they start beating the shit out of the frightened people. One of them fights back and instead of hacking him to death too, the leader steps in with a sawed off shotgun, two of the goons hold the fighter down on his knees, the leader levels the shotgun at the fighter's head, pan to the leader's face as he pulls the trigger, there's the bright muzzle flash and some blood spatter. The leader then turns around and walks out as you hear the goons drop the body. Jump to a shot from the floor, approximately where the fighter's head should be, but you know, close range with a sawed off and there's not much less, blood is pooling around the floor as you watch the leader walk out of the shelter while his goons go about raiding the place. Then that fades to black and you can go off on Ms. Mad Maxine all you like.

Anyways, sounds like you might have something there, and I too would like to see some samples of what it’s going to look like.

[Calal]

Hmmm, I' ve got to admit, this peaked my interest. But one concern I have; will this be animated like anime or not?

As for plots to nuclear build-up, here' s a pick but most of them are surely used and sort of cliché;

a) resource shortage, have nations invade one another, nuclear build-up and finally release

b) make it a space race where the launch of a large space station or a moon base results in paranoia, making the opposing nations believe it is an orbital launchstation

c) have a supercomputer gone AWOL simulate or effectively nuking the nations neighbours

d) have a rogue nuclear weapon detonate on the nation' s soil and have them declare war on the supposed culprits. BOOM, world war III

e) meh, make it a religious occasion, dunno, I would stay clear of this one. What' s the point in another crusade or jihad?

f) have a virus released on some big- shot nation that turns humans in flesh-eating zombies; runs out of control and people begin to flee the country. Out of fear of contagion after all hope has gone for curing/killing the virus, they choose to cleanse the virus and the nation' s soil by nuking it. Offcourse they forgot the not so happy governement in hidding (underground vaults) which doesn' t take this desperate solution or attack lightly and nukes in retaliation.

g) deviate from normal timeline like in Fallout and make up a new Cold War or whatever

h) have aliens punish humankind for being ugly and smelly, so they nuke us. Or worse. Sort of.

i) have mad scientist or religious cult leader threaten to plung the world into nuclear chaos unless he is payed a rich ransom. Anti-terrorist solutions fail, KABLAMOOW

I don' t know, you couls still remain vague to the audience as to the who and why this nuclear war happened. It could add something of a mysterious flavor if you throw the audience right into the story of a build-up or whatsoever without to much explanation, just by following the main character and her surroundings. You don' t always have to explain everything. I bet you could go from this: if your main character wouldn' t know then the audience won' t either.

Ah well, hope this helps somewhat or gave you ideas of your own. Be sure to keep us up to date and yes, please divulge more on the character, setting, atmosphere,...

Cheers

[Mad Max RW]

Please god don't make it anime. If it's good (not anime) I'll post this on the front page.

[Mismatch]

how about trying to avoid the nuclear war thingie all together, and let the apocalypse have come from some other source.
This is a lil' thing I worked on a few weeks ago, feel free to use it if you wish:

At the end of the 21:st century the US war on terrorism had taken the American armed forces through most parts of Africa and the Arabic world with not much success in finding and disarming terrorist groups, but instead giving birth to hundreds of new anti-American organizations.
This enabled the US government to pass several new anti terrorist laws and in doing so decreasing citizen’s rights and privacy.
The USA became a closed country. Foreign tourism faltered and gradually disappeared with the increasing security, wrecking havoc with the tourism industry and rendering thousands of Americans unemployed.
Furthermore, a trade war was on the rise between United States and the European Union as the EU responded to USA’s heavy duties on foreign goods with duties of their own. This led to a ever escalating duty conflict which eventually crippled world economy.

With it’s economy in ruins USA neglected social welfare and maintenance of roads and infrastructure. Soon even law enforcement was dramatically decreased to only keeping peace in the city cores and within a few years most rural towns fell under control of wealthy local families which soon built local peacekeeping squads, or rather, personal armies.

In the larger cities, the city cores soon developed into independent city-states, well fortified and protected for the outer regions and suburbs which, with no police or government presence, fell into the hands of gangs and criminals.
The cores still manage to maintain a working plumbing system and electrical supply, while the outer city regions are more or less cut off the electrical grid. Though some of the larger criminal families have managed to get their hands on electrical generators or managed to tap into the power grid. These make themselves quite a fortune on delivering electricity to other inhabitants of the “Caverns�, as most core dwellers refer to the uncivilized outer regions of the cities.
Most rural towns are also in possession of their own electrical supply, usually a water plant or generator (sometimes wind plants) crafted by some local engineer. This gives them a adequate supply of electrical energy which help the cities prevail in the harsh wastelands.

[Megatron]

America getting fucked isn't the end of the world. Seems like a nicish setting though, but I doubt those smaller events would escalade into that.

I'm hoping it's not anime. 'Sera' sounds pretty anime though mebbe? Not sure about the whole reporter thing either. This just means the people who listen to the radio survive mebbe? And why would several men with full-auto weapons steal some rations before the end has begun? Why not just go into wal-mart or something?

[Mismatch]

Well, the thought is that virtually tha same thing has happened with europe but with no working communications, noone knows that.
And since there is no lawenforcement and such, people get killed alot, small city vs city wars break out, town vs town and so on.......
So, what I had in mind was a series of small wars instead of one humongous.
I failed in expressing it well though.

[RobsH66]

Wow, I didn't expect to get this many responses! Well, I'm very glad you guys are interested, and you have some very good ideas.

jetbaby- you make a good point about the fact that there probably wouldn't be much warning. However, I think that once it was very obvious the nation was under attack (say, once the missiles were actually visible in the skies over the country), people would probably stop what they were doing and take notice. So, at least for the last minute or so before the bombs started to detonate, I'm sure there would be plenty of advisory broadcasts and warning messages playing on all the different media stations, not to mention the chaos and insanity that would unfold in the streets. In any case, I really like your idea of starting the preview with a normal news broadcast, relating to the weather or something like that.

How about this- I use your idea of opening the preview with a news broadcast in which nothing is out of the ordinary. "The weather forecast for today is partly cloudly with a slight chance of rain, and light winds from the northeast," the reporter states calmly. "Now here's Bob with current traffic conditions." As the traffic correspondant begins to speak, the camera cuts to a view from a News helicopter floating over a crowded freeway. "We are currently flying over the 283 Expressway," states the traffic correspondant in a slightly nervous tone, "where the scene below is one of confusion. Traffic has literally come to a standstill as drivers have noticed an increasingly large number of vapor trails forming in the sky overhead." As he says this, the camera pans up shakily to reveal the midday sky and the numerous smoke trails floating ominously over the city.

Does that sound like a good start? Feel free to change or add onto that if you've got any ideas. After that scene, there could be a short sequence as the country's panic-stricken inhabitants realize what is happening and attempt to escape to any shelter they can find.

Now, moving on to the next topic: you make some good points about the whole cult thing. Before I say anymore, I should probably explain why I was planning on using the cult idea in the first place.

In the movie, most of the combatants fight with weapons they have gathered in the wastes, and with their battle-equipped vehicles (think Mad Max, or more accurately, Interstate '76 if anyone here has played that game before). However, there are also these strange, mysterious vehicles that travel throughout the wastes, some of which Sera encounters at various points in the series. These machines use extremely advanced technology and are seemingly devoid of any living crew (in other words, they are artificially intelligent or perhaps remote controlled), and wherever they go, they kill everything that stands in their way. Equally mysterious is the occasional nuking of areas known to contain high levels of survivors. The warriors fighting in the wastes do not understand these threats, but simply accept them as another element of the hostile world in which they live.

The source of these machines, and the nuclear warheads that continue to strike terror in the hearts of those still alive, is a sprawling futuristic complex located in midwest North America (about where Arizona or Nevada would have been located). This complex is home to a strange and advanced community that was able to salvage and repair what was once a top secret and heavily guarded military base (Area 51, maybe?) and turn it into a base of operations for their assault on the survivors of the war. These disturbed individuals are unified in the belief that for the earth to be able to heal and spawn new life, it first needs to be cleansed of all those left over from the evil and destructive civilization that once covered the earth; those who are unwilling to put down their weapons and commit themselves to the regeneration of the planet. And so they have employed their extensive knowledge and advanced technology to create efficient and ruthless hunting machines, and to preserve the remaining nuclear arsenal as a final safeguard in the event that their hunters fail them.

I thought it would be an interesting twist if this society had spawned from the same cult that had triggered the nuclear exchange in the first place; their intention had always been to cleanse the earth, and they were now dealing with the task of picking off the survivors.

However, I understand the points that you have made, as well as everyone else's comments. A simple clashing of world powers that leads to a nuclear exchange would be more realistic, and would better explain how many people knew to stock their fallout shelters and retreat to them when the time came. (However, if I choose not to use the cult idea, I have to come up with a reasonable explanation for the society that has sent all the vehicles, or perhaps come up with an alternative explanation for the hunters and for the nuking of heavily populated areas, because those things are pivotal parts of the story) And yes, I understand that the history and causes of the nuclear war aren't necessarily important. I'm mainly trying to plan it out so that I can tie it into the series. I was never planning on explaining the whole story of the war in the series; I was just going to give hints and clues throughout the episodes that would reveal some information about what happened.

Another reason I'm trying to decide on the history of the war is because I have yet to come up with a good history for the main character, Sera. As it is, she doesn't have a very developed character other than the fact that she is an extremely skilled fighter and knows very little about her past. My original plan for her origin and history was that she was born in a hospital just minutes before the bombs fell, and by sheer luck was shielded from the initial blast (it would be assumed that the hospital was relatively far from the nearest detonation), and though all those around her were killed, she was eventually rescued by survivors who had come from elsewhere in the hospital. From that point on, she was raised by a group of people who taught her the fighting skills she would need to survive in the violent and unforgiving wasteland. What happened to these people, and what forced her to venture into the wastes and fight for her survival, are questions that I still have not been able to come up with answers for. I also have yet to come up with a good overall objective for the girl- what she's there for, and her reason for continuing to fight day after day, besides the simple goal of survival. Perhaps she is simply searching for a reason to be, or justification for all the killing she has commited, or something like that.

I recently had an idea for an alternative- she could have been born years before the war, and lived a perfectly normal life until the day the bombs fell. After the intense struggle to survive, during which she witnessing things that no human should ever have to see, she simply forgot who she was and adapted to the new world, doing what was necessary to survive until she could find either a future or a past. She could carry with her a single souvenir from her past life- maybe a necklace with her name on it, maybe a picture of her as a young child, who knows.

So as you guys can see, I've got quite a bit of character development to figure out. Luckily, the first episode is entirely action with almost no character development (it is meant to throw the viewer into the chaos and confusion that the characters are subject to, with the plot and character details unfolding as the series continues), so I've got plenty of time to figure these things out. In addition to helping me with the preview, if you guys have any ideas on this topic, please feel free to post them.

Well anyways, now that I've gotten that huge amount of info out of the way, I'll continue replying to posts (this is probably the longest post I've ever left on a forum )

In reply to the last part of jetbaby's post- if you're interested, I'll be sure to keep you informed. This forum looks like a great place to talk to other fans of the genre, so I'll be spending time here from now on. And though I don't want too many people to see my movie before its release, I've been keeping in touch with some people who, in return for helping me with ideas and assistance when I need it, get to see parts of the movie before anyone else, for beta testing and second opinion purposes. If that interests you and you think you can provide some good assistance, let me know. As for the art, I'm making the animation in Macromedia Flash using my own artwork, except for 3D models for the guns and vehicles which I convert into Flash using Swift 3D. As far as some examples of the style, read further down for that.

airsoft guy- more reasons against using the cult idea. Well, read what I wrote above for my response to that subject. Now, as for the scene where the guys slaughter the people in the fallout shelter- it's not really going to be a long, intricate scene; just a quick shot as part of a sequence that will show some of the violence and mayhem as the survivors begin to fight. I was planning on just using a 5-second shot or so, in which the guy swings open the doors to the shelter, several screams are heard from inside, and then he unloads into the room with the gun and runs inside. Still, I must admit you put together a really cool idea for that scene. The action contained in the actual episodes is a lot like what you came up with- ruthless, violent and intense.

Calal- in response to the anime thing, see below. As for your other suggestions, those are some very good ideas. I particularly like A and C. However, you made a very good point in suggesting that I just don't explain the nuclear war; all that the main character knows, and all that's important, is that the war happened and it spawned the world she must live in. As I said earlier in this post, one of the main reasons I'm trying to come up with the history of the war is so I can choose some interesting parts of it and drop clues about them during the series, and also so I can get some leads for the history of the main character.

Mad Max and Calal- Well, it depends on what you consider "anime". The drawing style of my characters is similar to that of anime (or rather, good anime, like Cowboy Bebop; I hate Dragonball Z and all that other craptastic generic anime as much as the next guy), but with the environment, action, and all other elements of the series, I've tried to give the movie a realistic feel, as much like live action as I could make it. I was going to post some screenshots, but my webspace provider decided to crap out on me and now I have to wait for a while until it gets reactivated. It should be back online by tomorrow, though.

Mismatch- well, you definitely did your homework That's quite an idea. I like it a lot, but I've already sort of built the whole series around the idea of a nuclear war. Besides, I've always wanted to make a cool nuclear attack sequence (a big reason I'm so excited about making the preview), since I have yet to see a very good one in any kind of movie or game. With a cool, original idea like that already planned out, you should consider making a movie or something of your own; if you pulled it off right, that could be an extremely interesting concept, and I don't think I've ever seen or heard of anything like it before, so you'd definitely get originality points. Just a suggestion

Megatron- See what I wrote earlier in regards to the anime thing. As for the name Sera, it's a shortened version of "Seraphina", which is derived from the name of a certain order of angels. As for the radio thing, let's first consider how many people are listening to the radio (in their cars or otherwise) or watching TV at any given moment in time. And even those not listening to or watching anything would surely notice the chaos and panic in the streets once the word got out and the air raid sirens started up. In any case, while there would not be adequate warning for everyone to get to shelter, there'd be enough time for a lucky few who were prepared to run for cover. And as for the men with guns raiding the fallout shelter, you misunderstand- that part comes after the war, not before it.

Well, I guess that's all for now. Thanks once again for the quick responses and good ideas- I'll be sure to keep you guys informed, and if anyone else has any ideas please let me know about them.

-RobsH66

[CloudNineGT]

I would be more than willing to help with any beta testing for your series, as it sounds very interesting. The animation style, as long as you refrain from the ^_^ KAWAII!!!!!1111 style of anime, witch it seems like you will, sounds just fine to me. As for the back story of Sera, personally I am partial to her being born perhaps 2 years before the bomb, giving her personal articles that she might have been given, but no real recollection of parents. Also, please do not make her unreasonably good at fighting, it can detract from the interest of the story when the hero is too good.

This is unrelated, but I thought I would bring up a book called "A Canticle of Lebowitz�(sp?)in witch in small parts deals with the lack of information on the pre war world. In short, operation of complex machines and understanding anything beyond the knowledge of one with a high school diploma would be a rare find indeed. Also, Will you be incorporating any sort of ghouls or mutants into this setting? Though they are not entirely realistic, I feel that they can lend something to the apocalyptic feel, particularly mutated animals (I'm partial to horses)

Just as a last note, I like your choice of the name Sara in reflection of the Seraphim, perhaps this could be a recurring theme for people throughout the series, such as Mala (Malakim) or maybe Greg (Grigori) .. though they technically aren’t part of the symphony anymore.

[airsoft guy]

See I'm not a big fan of wacky names like "Sera" that sound like white-man names like "Sarah." I think it would be better to give her a generic name (like "Sarah") for simplicity sake, unless there's something really cool behind being named after an order of angels (and there usually never is one). No one likes that, so just simplify it with "Sarah" mmmkay?

I still don't like the idea of a cult causing the shit to hit, I find it way too implausible. A doomsday cult simply couldn't do it, by the time they broke into the base the base would have sent out an alert and the rest of the military would be on them like stink on shit. They wouldn't get inside before they were torn to bits by the defenses, torn to bits by responding military forces or the base is simply shut down and all the shit is disconnected or destroyed to prevent the loonies from doing anything. I also prefer the all out nuclear war, like in Fallout, it doesn't matter why it happened, it just did and it lasted three hours and that's it.

[RobsH66]

CloudNine- Haha, well you don't have to worry about any cute stuff here; the series is far too dark for that. As for her age- I was thinking more along the lines of her being born around 5 or 6 years before the war. It just seems to me like if she was 2 at the time of the war, she might as well have just been born, know what I mean?

As far as the fighting thing goes, I try to keep things realistic. She's good, but she's definitely not invincible, and there are quite a few close calls. There is one questionable part in the first episode, though. I'll describe it and you can decide if it sounds too unrealistic.

There is a scene where she has to run through a large open area and across several streets while the entire urban area around her is engaged in a massive firefight. As she runs onto one of the streets, a car spins around a nearby corner and begins to accelerate towards her. Distracted by the intense gunfire flying all around her, she fails to notice the car until it engages its high beams in an attempt to blind her. She fires several rounds at the car before her gun runs out of ammo, but of course the bullets do nothing to slow down the car's increasing speed. With the car too close for her to dive out of the way, Sera jumps into the air, rolls over the hood and smashes against the windshield, which cracks, cushioning her impact enough that she remains uninjured, save for a few cuts. The driver of the car slams on his brakes in surprise, and Sera grabs hold of the car just in time to escape being thrown forward. She quickly rolls to face the windshield and smashes the butt of her gun against it, punching a hole in the already fragmented glass. She tosses the gun off the side of the car and quickly pulls out her combat knife, which she thrusts through the hole in the windshield and through the driver's neck. As the car comes to a stop, she rips the knife out of his neck, almost completely severing his head in the process.

I'll let you read that and tell me what you think, and we'll go from there. Moving on, I don't think I'll be using any mutants or ghouls in this series. It's not that I don't think they have their place in a post-apocalyptic setting, but I've always associated ghouls with more fantasy-based stories, and mutants seem like they wouldn't logically make an appearance until many decades after a nuclear war (it takes a long time, even multiple generations, for an organism to mutate), in an environment where fallout had a much more noticable effect (which, like I've stated, isn't the case here). It's a good suggestion, but I just think it would seem out of place here.

Lastly, I'm glad you like the name. Speaking of which...

airsoft guy- You say that nobody likes names like Sera, yet you're the first person I've talked to who hasn't like it! I went through a very extensive process to choose the name, and I came up with this one after talking it over and looking up information with a few friends over the course of several days. I didn't want to go the easy way out and just give her a generic everyday name; I wanted her name to actually mean something. There are a number of references to angels, redemption, and that sort of thing throughout the series (just look at the title: Fallen Angel); I guess you could say it's a recurring theme. I was originally going to call the girl Angelica; after that it was a toss-up between Seraphina, Morrigan, or Minerva. The last 2 just didn't seem to fit, and everyone I asked liked Seraphina and its shorter version, Sera, so I made the final decision. Even if Sera and Sarah sound the same, it's nice to have a hidden meaning in there for people who take the time to look it up. Besides, Sera just looks cooler when you spell it out.

Anyways, you make several more good points about the cult idea. After hearing what everyone has had to say about it, I'm pretty sure I won't be using that idea after all. I just need to come up with a replacement now, and a way to explain the guys sending out the hunting machines and nukes to exterminate all the war survivors. Any ideas?

[jetbaby]

Supreme survivalist group/cult whatever? I'll post a slightly more intelligent and thought out reply tomorrow when im not doped up from being sicka nd can read everything without wanting to fall over.

[airsoft guy]

There is a scene where she has to run through a large open area and across several streets while the entire urban area around her is engaged in a massive firefight. As she runs onto one of the streets, a car spins around a nearby corner and begins to accelerate towards her. Distracted by the intense gunfire flying all around her, she fails to notice the car until it engages its high beams in an attempt to blind her. She fires several rounds at the car before her gun runs out of ammo, but of course the bullets do nothing to slow down the car's increasing speed. With the car too close for her to dive out of the way, Sera jumps into the air, rolls over the hood and smashes against the windshield, which cracks, cushioning her impact enough that she remains uninjured, save for a few cuts. The driver of the car slams on his brakes in surprise, and Sera grabs hold of the car just in time to escape being thrown forward. She quickly rolls to face the windshield and smashes the butt of her gun against it, punching a hole in the already fragmented glass. She tosses the gun off the side of the car and quickly pulls out her combat knife, which she thrusts through the hole in the windshield and through the driver's neck. As the car comes to a stop, she rips the knife out of his neck, almost completely severing his head in the process.

I want you to go out and find a car that still has the windshield intact (junk yard, abandoned car in the woods, evil teacher you had in high school, whatever works for you) toss a cinder block at it and then take a gun and hit it to see just how long it will take you to smash through. It would work a lot better if she were to reload the gun, then empty it into the windshield as she's riding along.

I still say you name her "Sarah" since it sounds just like "Sera." Unorthodox spelling to an orthodox name still makes it sound orthodox, but whatever.

[jetbaby]

airsoft, it is a reference to "Seraphim" not meant to respell Sarah.

[airsoft guy]

I know that, but a lot of people are not going to make the connection, even if you hammer it into their head over and over again.

[jetbaby]

Drop the hammer. Carve it into a bullet. I dunno. If people are too dense to pick up on it if it is clearly presented, so be it. We'll just get to laugh when they say "WAI U HAEV TEH STUUPIED NAEM?!! SI TEH SAREAH< RIET!?"

[RobsH66]

LOL, thank you jetbaby.

I honestly don't think anyone's gonna care all that much if her name is spelled a little differently. It's just a little detail that adds some hidden depth, and like I said before, I think it looks cool.

And yeah, I figured somebody would point out the fact that the safety glass windshields are made of is extremely hard to break. It's gonna be a cool sequence, though, and it wouldn't be nearly as intense if she just shot the guy; besides, she shoots enough people in other parts of the episode. I need to change things up to keep it interesting. Does anyone have any ideas for getting around this?

We could say the car doesn't have a windshield, but then what would cushion her impact?
Or what if the car's windshield had to be replaced at some point in time, but all the owner could find was a piece of regular glass? I guess that's stretching it sort of far, and it wouldn't make much sense to equip a combat vehicle with a breakable windshield anyways.
I don't know, I'm drawing a blank. Anyone?

[CloudNineGT]

Leave the windshield as is, it sounds fine to me, and if someone picks it apart enough to demand that safety glass would not break that easily, fuck it, its a good sounding action scene. I do feel that her injuries should be more severe though, at least a bad laceration that could require stitching later or even a broken bone. Maybe massive bruising all on the side that was hit that you could reveal a little later? I'm just throwing things out.